- Jun 28, 2006
- 16
- 0
Do we think that black men and women have enough social ‘space’ between them to enable them talk about and dialogue with each other on a variety of issues and in a number of constructive ways?
I always get the feeling that we are expected to somehow ‘cleave’ to each other unreservedly, both politically and socially, leaving no ‘autonomous’ space between. This state of being, is romanticised and seen to be what will ‘save’ the community. We are told we have to prefer, overlook, make allowance etc. I think one effect is that contrary to feeling safe and satisfied with each other, things can get blown out of proportion between us e.g. men’s philandering is conceptualised as a ‘black’ illness rather than seen for the universal habit it is. After all, Black men can only be princes and knights, therefore, we can’t allow them to be normal men with normal men’s shortcomings.
Also another result, is we have higher expectations and ‘crash’ with disillusionment when these are unfulfilled.
I think this kind of ‘no space allowed between black men and women’ is unnatural.
Black men and women are separate political entities. Our political interests can often lie on opposite sides even though we still have the overarching ‘community interest’to achieve. For instance, men might have no problem with a situation that enables them have more than one woman (as is the case now). Women on the other hand are much more interested in a situation where they are the sole recipients of one mans affection and resources for obvious reasons.
The feminist movement has created a safe space for white females to criticise white men and push for change on many fronts, but raise same issues in black community and all you get is, ‘we have bigger problems’. Hence devaluation of women goes unchecked.
Usually if you have to criticise black men or women for any issue (and I don’t mean idiotic complaints, but well analysed and articulated points) it can only be as outburst of sheer frustration, possibly after you have ‘left’ the community to be with another race.
I noticed this while writing a book explaining interracial dating for black women. It is when in IR relationships that blacks feel comfortable to come all out with their anger and pent up frustration with the other sex.
Is this space to dialogue a good idea, how do we create it if so?
the website to my book is below
<< web site linked removed by Destee >>
I always get the feeling that we are expected to somehow ‘cleave’ to each other unreservedly, both politically and socially, leaving no ‘autonomous’ space between. This state of being, is romanticised and seen to be what will ‘save’ the community. We are told we have to prefer, overlook, make allowance etc. I think one effect is that contrary to feeling safe and satisfied with each other, things can get blown out of proportion between us e.g. men’s philandering is conceptualised as a ‘black’ illness rather than seen for the universal habit it is. After all, Black men can only be princes and knights, therefore, we can’t allow them to be normal men with normal men’s shortcomings.
Also another result, is we have higher expectations and ‘crash’ with disillusionment when these are unfulfilled.
I think this kind of ‘no space allowed between black men and women’ is unnatural.
Black men and women are separate political entities. Our political interests can often lie on opposite sides even though we still have the overarching ‘community interest’to achieve. For instance, men might have no problem with a situation that enables them have more than one woman (as is the case now). Women on the other hand are much more interested in a situation where they are the sole recipients of one mans affection and resources for obvious reasons.
The feminist movement has created a safe space for white females to criticise white men and push for change on many fronts, but raise same issues in black community and all you get is, ‘we have bigger problems’. Hence devaluation of women goes unchecked.
Usually if you have to criticise black men or women for any issue (and I don’t mean idiotic complaints, but well analysed and articulated points) it can only be as outburst of sheer frustration, possibly after you have ‘left’ the community to be with another race.
I noticed this while writing a book explaining interracial dating for black women. It is when in IR relationships that blacks feel comfortable to come all out with their anger and pent up frustration with the other sex.
Is this space to dialogue a good idea, how do we create it if so?
the website to my book is below
<< web site linked removed by Destee >>