How To Tell If You Are A GHETTO Employee
1. You don't officially start working in the morning until the Tom Joyner, Russ
Par, Search in the AM, Doug Banks or Huggie Low Down show goes off the radio.
2. Not only do you know all the security guards and cafeteria workers, ONE OF
THEM HAS ASKED YOU OUT ON A DATE OR VICE VERSA.
3. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and plan what
you are doing for tonight or for the weekend.
4. The only time your man/woman picks you up from work is on payday.
5. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because you
didn't answer your home phone the previous night.
6. You polish your nails at your desk.
7. When you are on a personal call you laugh so loud-your coworkers on the other
side of the office come and ask you what's so funny.
8. On casual Friday you wear your best- Versace, Tommy, Polo, D&G, Burberry
jeans (ladies - tightest Parasuco jeans)... but the rest of the week you looked
professional.
9. You have pictures on your wall and around your computer with you and your
friends at the club with drinks in y'all hands. (Ladies: you know that pose with
y'all sticking your behind out).
10. You talk about how much money you make.
11. You have codes for personal calls that let someone know that you will call
them right back. (Let the phone ring two times and I will know it is you and
call you right back.)
12. Ladies...You change your hair style every other week, not to mention the red
Charlie Baltimore dye.
13. You go get your haircut / hair done on lunch and come back two hours later..
14. You use your corporate credit card to buy clothes, pay bills, personal plane
tickets.
15. You change your shoes as soon as you get to work with those dirty house
shoes under you desk.
16. You wear aqua, red, neon green suits to work with shoes and stockings to
match.
17. Your nails are so long you can hardly type.
18. You don't like your supervisor and a couple other coworkers and you tell
them off on a regular basis and wonder why you haven't been promoted.
19. You brag about how you haven't done anything all day and you have the nerve
to say when you get home, "I am so tired."
20. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on Thursday. Then, you call
in on Monday too.
21. You get chicken, ribs, or fish and french fries everyday at lunch.
22. You go shopping at lunch and come back with a lot of bags and proceed to
show everyone what you bought.
23. You bring your kids to work and they run all over the office.
24. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk, they have to wipe the
chicken grease off of the handset.
25. You come to work on Friday's dressed for the club.
26. You cuss creditors out for calling you at work.
27. Your kids call your job and say to the operator, "Let me speak to my Mama."
28. You call in sick on payday Friday and send your cousin to pick up your
paycheck.
29. You contribute $1 to the office Christmas party, eat the most food and take
a platter of lunchmeat and potato salad home to your family for dinner.
30. Your kids school supplies all have your company's logo on them. (You know
who you are)
31. You can't function when the batteries go dead in your desk radio.
32. You use the company's postage machine to stamp your letters to your
relatives in the penitentiary. (You know who you are)
33. You accept collect calls from your cousins in the penitentiary talking
about, "What's up man?
35. You give your out-of-town friends your companies 1-800 number.
36. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story several
times out loud. (You know who you are)
37. Co-workers inquire how your father's surgery went that required you to be
out for days and you haven't seen your daddy since he left your momma, when you
were born ...
1. You don't officially start working in the morning until the Tom Joyner, Russ
Par, Search in the AM, Doug Banks or Huggie Low Down show goes off the radio.
2. Not only do you know all the security guards and cafeteria workers, ONE OF
THEM HAS ASKED YOU OUT ON A DATE OR VICE VERSA.
3. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and plan what
you are doing for tonight or for the weekend.
4. The only time your man/woman picks you up from work is on payday.
5. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because you
didn't answer your home phone the previous night.
6. You polish your nails at your desk.
7. When you are on a personal call you laugh so loud-your coworkers on the other
side of the office come and ask you what's so funny.
8. On casual Friday you wear your best- Versace, Tommy, Polo, D&G, Burberry
jeans (ladies - tightest Parasuco jeans)... but the rest of the week you looked
professional.
9. You have pictures on your wall and around your computer with you and your
friends at the club with drinks in y'all hands. (Ladies: you know that pose with
y'all sticking your behind out).
10. You talk about how much money you make.
11. You have codes for personal calls that let someone know that you will call
them right back. (Let the phone ring two times and I will know it is you and
call you right back.)
12. Ladies...You change your hair style every other week, not to mention the red
Charlie Baltimore dye.
13. You go get your haircut / hair done on lunch and come back two hours later..
14. You use your corporate credit card to buy clothes, pay bills, personal plane
tickets.
15. You change your shoes as soon as you get to work with those dirty house
shoes under you desk.
16. You wear aqua, red, neon green suits to work with shoes and stockings to
match.
17. Your nails are so long you can hardly type.
18. You don't like your supervisor and a couple other coworkers and you tell
them off on a regular basis and wonder why you haven't been promoted.
19. You brag about how you haven't done anything all day and you have the nerve
to say when you get home, "I am so tired."
20. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on Thursday. Then, you call
in on Monday too.
21. You get chicken, ribs, or fish and french fries everyday at lunch.
22. You go shopping at lunch and come back with a lot of bags and proceed to
show everyone what you bought.
23. You bring your kids to work and they run all over the office.
24. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk, they have to wipe the
chicken grease off of the handset.
25. You come to work on Friday's dressed for the club.
26. You cuss creditors out for calling you at work.
27. Your kids call your job and say to the operator, "Let me speak to my Mama."
28. You call in sick on payday Friday and send your cousin to pick up your
paycheck.
29. You contribute $1 to the office Christmas party, eat the most food and take
a platter of lunchmeat and potato salad home to your family for dinner.
30. Your kids school supplies all have your company's logo on them. (You know
who you are)
31. You can't function when the batteries go dead in your desk radio.
32. You use the company's postage machine to stamp your letters to your
relatives in the penitentiary. (You know who you are)
33. You accept collect calls from your cousins in the penitentiary talking
about, "What's up man?
35. You give your out-of-town friends your companies 1-800 number.
36. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story several
times out loud. (You know who you are)
37. Co-workers inquire how your father's surgery went that required you to be
out for days and you haven't seen your daddy since he left your momma, when you
were born ...
