Black People : PARIS BENNETT ON AMERICAN IDOL

[Riada]

***Group stature is low primarily because we are too permissive and tolerant of how others treat us


how do they directly address the issues that MsMocha mentioned...the physical features business that is so pervasive in the Black community?...***



***Again...I don't want to rehash my definition at this point of 'blackness', as I've already established that on more than a few occasions. We can call a rose a tulip if we choose, but the traits will remain those of a rose....I don't think I need to say more....***

This is one of those "Does the chicken or egg come first" situations. Yes, I agree, we tolerate too much crap BUT one reason we tolerate it is because our stature is low and the stature is low because we tolerate it.

Another big reason for the crap is because we don't support our own. For ex., I wonder how many of us sent the money to support the King Center the other day. I didn't. I do support my own in many other instances though.

Look, we're having problems tolerating each other, let alone supporting each other.

The "physical features" issue that MissMocha raised is tough because so few people will admit that they prefer people with light skin or caucasian features.
Even in a place like this where everyone is anonymous, I don't believe people will admit it because they know people will call them names.

But I look at the skin shade and features of the women who the men here say are beautiful. That's very telling. I also look at the wives and girlfriends of wealthy and influential Black men. That's extremely telling because those men can pick and choose who they want and the vast majority choose light to white.

I could be wrong but I don't believe that light skin and the features are such biggies when Black women select mates.

 

[Blaklioness]

This is one of those "Does the chicken or egg come first" situations. Yes, I agree, we tolerate too much crap BUT one reason we tolerate it is because our stature is low and the stature is low because we tolerate it.

Another big reason for the crap is because we don't support our own. For ex., I wonder how many of us sent the money to support the King Center the other day. I didn't. I do support my own in many other instances though.

Look, we're having problems tolerating each other, let alone supporting each other.

The "physical features" issue that MissMocha raised is tough because so few people will admit that they prefer people with light skin or caucasian features.
Even in a place like this where everyone is anonymous, I don't believe people will admit it because they know people will call them names.

But I look at the skin shade and features of the women who the men here say are beautiful. That's very telling. I also look at the wives and girlfriends of wealthy and influential Black men. That's extremely telling because those men can pick and choose who they want and the vast majority choose light to white.

I could be wrong but I don't believe that light skin and the features are such biggies when Black women select mates.

People don't admit the behavior ORALLY, because it's shameful to say that you have issues with yourself. However, indeed, people's actions do say EVERYTHING about what they really think. People who benefit from the status quo don't WANT it questioned....people who are not part of that status but are sustaining it through their choices are, at some level, ashamed of what their behavior implies in terms of self-esteem.

The looks issue generally doesn't effect men the same way it does women. That's a problem with the society in general....ifor example, it's why men generally tend to get away with the social stigma of the weight issue more than women. White supremacy has decided that light/white is associated with femininity and darkness is associated with masculinity. So, often people who cater to the sickness of white supremacy, will seek out mates who meet those criteria. In the process, dark women are made to feel unfeminine and undesirable, and often, light men made to feel less masculine. It's not until Black people start to deal with that.....HONESTLY...that it will change. Then, when you see light and dark blacks together in a relationship...it will be AUTHENTIC and not based in white supremacy as much of it is now.

 

[Ms_MochaB]

Thank you all for recognizing that there is a problem that should be addressed in our homes and in our own personal lives ... comcerning how we view ourselves. The subliminal signals that we send out exudes what is enbedded in our minds. Do we honestly believe that we can't somehow connect with one who for some reason or the other don't consider themselves as being "black" ... Believe me we can relate ... think about this ... Say I tell you I cannot connect with black people on any level based on a childhood incident, I go through my happy go lucky life with my same white, asian, and hispanic friends --- then one I transfer away from my comfort zone, but I keep the same mentality of not being able to cope with my "black" heritage ... So I attempt to embrace the other sects as I have in the past, well I receive a rude awakening ... LIFE. After experiencing life outside of my own little world of excuses to hate my own race and now seeing the reality of the fact that other races abhor me the way I seem to have abhorred my own race .... Guess who I embrace now..... When I come home I go and visit my family instead of calling my "comfort zone friends." Now the tables are turned, the attitude I had based on a childhood incident that drew me to other sects, is now an adult incident that drove me back home ... So don't ever give up because when it's all over .... Even Tiger Woods will acknowledge that he is "Black"!