Black Relationships : The Angry Black Man/ Woman Trope

[Liberty]

We are all aware of the stereotypical Angry Black Man/Woman trope played out in movies, television, and all other manners of media.

Black folks just being mad all the time for no reason at all, which is completely false, but white folks love that stereotype, because it diminishes the validity of the many things we rightfully should be angry about.

Although it annoys me when white folks do this, it hurts really bad when it comes from within us. When AA men or women buy into the Angry Black Man/Woman trope, I can't understand why they don't understand the realities of what exactly is going on.

I don't expect my brothers to be out and about skinnin' and grinnin' at all times. I know what life is like for them, because I experience it, too. So, I don't take it personal, that they may be having one of those days. And, I wonder if it occurs to them that I experience racism, too, from the very same people, and I am only 5'4" tall, so those people can take it to a whole 'nother level with me that they wouldn't dare take it with you.

When a AA man lays that Angry Black Woman trope on me, because I ain't bowling over with happiness like Becky 24/7, I wonder how shallow he could be, to not realize my world ain't sunnier than his.

Yes, I have learned to smile through it all.... most of the time. But, if you catch me on one of those days when YT decided to wait on Becky before me, even though I was standing in front of the cash regester before her....I might not be as cheerful as you want me to be. And, it has nothing to do with you.

*smile*

"Ever since I realized there waz someone callt/
a colored girl an evil woman a ***** or a nag/
i been tryin not to be that & leave bitterness/
in somebody else's cup...”

― Ntozake Shange, for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf

 

[baller]

i'm not one to call my sistahz angry...but there are some
i'm not one to call my bruthaz ig'nant...but there are some

i understand the levels of their frustration...their troubles...their stress
i understand the magnitude of their problems...their fights...their mess

and, like you, i understand that we have a common enemy. however, what i don't understand is why some of my bruthaz are angry at other bruthaz...all the time. i don't understand why some sistahz can't be approached with a kind word, without getting your head bitten off...all the time.

hahaha.

your cash register example took me to a moment in L.A.:

my sister talked me into going to the mall with her. after spending hours shopping, we walk to the register line up. a white guy is on his cell--those big phones, back then. the cashier had rung him up...was waiting for him to get off the phone to deal with his bill. i'm already pissed for having been there for hours and, after five minutes or so, i go to the front of the line, moved his stuff aside, tell the cashier to cash me out. she says, i can't...i've already rang him up. i tell her to void his ****...and cash me out...he'll get back with you when he finish his phone call. I'm not here to wait for him to finish handling his business. as she's voiding his transaction, he gets off the phone, talking...wait a minute, i'm next. i look at him, and tell him, you've had your chance but your phone call was more important. now you have to wait 'til the rest of us are done. of course he didn't appreaciate that...but he wasn't about to complain about it...with ten to fifteen pissed off customers staring at him.

you're right. you never know what a person is coming off of...when they run up on you.

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

 

[Liberty]

i'm not one to call my sistahz angry...but there are some
i'm not one to call my bruthaz ig'nant...but there are some

i understand the levels of their frustration...their troubles...their stress
i understand the magnitude of their problems...their fights...their mess

and, like you, i understand that we have a common enemy. however, what i don't understand is why some of my bruthaz are angry at other bruthaz...all the time. i don't understand why some sistahz can't be approached with a kind word, without getting your head bitten off...all the time.

hahaha.

your cash register example took me to a moment in L.A.:

my sister talked me into going to the mall with her. after spending hours shopping, we walk to the register line up. a white guy is on his cell--those big phones, back then. the cashier had rung him up...was waiting for him to get off the phone to deal with his bill. i'm already pissed for having been there for hours and, after five minutes or so, i go to the front of the line, moved his stuff aside, tell the cashier to cash me out. she says, i can't...i've already rang him up. i tell her to void his ****...and cash me out...he'll get back with you when he finish his phone call. I'm not here to wait for him to finish handling his business. as she's voiding his transaction, he gets off the phone, talking...wait a minute, i'm next. i look at him, and tell him, you've had your chance but your phone call was more important. now you have to wait 'til the rest of us are done. of course he didn't appreaciate that...but he wasn't about to complain about it...with ten to fifteen pissed off customers staring at him.

you're right. you never know what a person is coming off of...when they run up on you.

I keep getting thrown off the site... i'm going to try to post this again... 3rd time.

I really hope this doesn't come off as a gender war. I just want brothers to understand what racism feels like when you are 5'4" tall and a white man 6'2" is going all in on you. It's different for us. We are more vulnerable, and we take slack from white women and men E V E R Y D A Y. And, it can ruin your whole day. That feeling of humiliation.

They call you an "Angry Black Man" ...doesn't that help you to put that in the proper context, when it comes to us? I'm just asking?

Let's take it one mo' step. Sister's had a hard day. White man at working her like she's Kizzy everyday. Her work is impeccable. Because Mom and Dad taught her that "You HAVE to be three times better"..... and she takes that in stride.

She prepared a bomb presentation. She was ready for anything. She was dressed to the nines and had an answer to any blowback they could conceive of. All went well. After the presentation, she wasn't ready for Becky, though... Becky says out loud, "You know who you look like? You look like Whoopi Goldberg! And, everybody in the meeting laughs so hard.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

She wasn't ready for that. With her dreads, she looks nothing like Whoopi Goldberg. But, nonetheless, her Sojourner Truth, her Maya Angelo, her Mom, escaped her, and she knew not what to say or do, she faked a laugh, and left hurt.

Later at the mall, the show must go on, she went to buy school clothes for the kids. As she reached the entry, she saw the first Brother she had seen all day. There he was skinnin' and grinnin', falling all over himself, like he'd just won the lottery, as he opened the door, laughiing with Becky.... but as she approached, the door slammed right in her face, as if she weren't even there. When would she learn? Don't go expecting doors to be opened for her.

 

[Liberty]

i'm not one to call my sistahz angry...but there are some


.

You were my inspiration.