Black Relationships : Was i wrong in asking help about the brother calling me?

[Auroraflower]

Hi all ....





Remember i told you about ....

the brother who said who was going to call me .....
just to talk to get to know eachother......



I didnt reseaved a call .......
i just saw him comming online...
and he disapeared again...
i responded that wondered why he didnt called ...
and said i dont like him running in and out...

than he said ...
he didnt called because i putted the whole thing here...?

he ment with that ...

asking and sharing wich i do with you because i see you as my family to...
( i wasnt planning sharing everything ,and though i do share a lot i dont sharre everything)and no i dont have that much people around me here to share it ..and when i want to share it with them most of them are bussy...

and building up new relationships with people sisters and friends comes naturally i dont want to force it...

there is a click there or there is not..





but as far as i know .....

i didnt mentioned his name......




he said ....i prefer no contact...



you know ....


right now i am so tired ...

i wont say sick and tired cause i am not ..
i am happy...
it just hurt my soul everytime ...

that some brothers are acting so strange.....



actually i told him some brothers doing this al the time and than he said....

because they are stoopid.......


well i think he is doing the same thing...


why dont they ask .....

or say sumthing..what they feel before they block me of....and starting to act strange.......




















i think i,m heading back to the ..muppets the birds and the walls....





and i try and i try and i open up ..and they slam and they slam






well than not....

 

[SAMURAI36]

I can see how/why this brother (whoever he is) would feel this way. Truth be told, I would have felt the same way.

You said that building relationships should come natural, but it doesn't seem like you allowed this to take place with this brother.

Taking a brother's phone call doesn't require counseling--certainly not from an entire community.

Simply use your heart: either give him the opportunity to call, or don't.

Furhter, I can relate more to this brother's feelings because if he wanted the entire community to know, I'm sure he would've posted his request to call you publicly.

It likely made him feel untrustworthy, like he was not worth taking a chance on. This is DEFINITELY a feeling that I have experienced time and again with sisters, and I can relate to the hopelessness and inadequacy that such a feeling creates.

However, if this brother is reading this, my advice to him, is to give the situation another opportunity. If he is a good brother, then he should recognize the good sister in you--lest he would not have requested to call you to start with.

And to you, Sister AURORA:

NO MORE PUBLIC BROADCASTS OF YOUR PERSONAL LIFE!!!

It's called "personal" for a reason.

HOTEP

 

[kente417mojo]

I agree. I would not continue to persue a woman that has to get advice on whether she should even take my call. I have a thing about women when it comes to asking friends and family about every move she should make. My advice would be to give him some space. Maybe he'll reconsider, but in his defense, I don't blame him. I don't think he's acting stupid at all, because if a woman asks advice on something as simple as a phone call, when will it stop, especially when more complex situations arise? It's all about feeling secure, and I doubt he feels a sense of security right now.

 

[panafrica]

LibertyLady:

I would have to agree with both Samurai and Kente417Mojo on this one. I too would question a woman's seriousness (even maturity) if she had to ask for advice on receiving a phone call. However I do understand you have been hurt in the past. Still this is a public forum, and this brother obviously (with reason) felt that you were putting his business out in the street. Next time sister use a private message, that is what they are for. You can also ask for advice in the chat.

 

[Auroraflower]

thanks for youre respondings brothers





are you saying i am wrong in sharing a a question or a happening or a trouble i have...
cause i realy asked this question to know what i did wrong and what i can do different ....i realy do i am not ashamed to live and learn but
i think if it was a brother who was not of this place ...
i would have been seen different...
maybe i should have not mention that it was a brother of this place...

cause other wise..



that means i would have to leave this place....
means i could not ask you for advices or help....

means in i can not even write poems in the future...



.

like i said i didnt mention his name...

why do you put it into maturity ?....Pan and kentemojo ...



i have seen brothers asking or sharing their problems ...or happenings ...
and i dont see them as not mature ..."'what is mature actually ....? and when are we mature .....








does it means that we never make faults ...
and never learn or have our faults....






i still see this guy as mature and i see myself as mature to ...


but i dont see myself as an full grown ......

untill i die...

.in my first expression ..
it didnt put him on a bad spot or sumthing ...
i was just shoked and overwelmed...



i didnt put him in my first topic on a bad spot.....




maybe my second topic...




well i am sorry....



i am dissapointed.....


in that i know and have learned sumthing ...


and that maybe shows i am not ready for these thing....







and some people here dont realy understand ....



i see you as my family ....

and i have shared a lot trough these years...




thats why it happend so ....fast that i expressesd...

there where people here whom i shared my darkest moments with...


and some people realy dont know what goes on inside and what i went trough..
except for those who feel and understand...







just wanted to say that.......




but thanks brothers for youre respondings ...
i agree maybe on some things not on everything that you said...
and i am not the type who denies ......or i dont want to hear the truth "'some say truth hurts .....truth sets you free.....so if it hurts for a moment ....that is ok as long as it helps me to get me to move forward...
but you could not fully understand me cause you are not standing in shoes
and there is no one to blame ...




no one.......





maybe i need to stop sharing and talking ...and expressing,,,
maybe yes...
i will discuss it with my father.......





i still got love for you broter pan sekemuh and kente





for everyone ...

even the brother...







Loveaurroraflower