Black Relationships : How young is too young?

[mari]

Lately we hear about the school teachers going off to prison, or we see relationships on the tele, like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, and men have always dated much younger women. Do you think older women should date younger men? The reason I ask is because my aunt in her 40's tells me she is with a man in his 20's? All I was thinking is it won't work, and she thinks otherwise. I am happy for her, but at the same time, I just don't get it. d
What say you all?

I just wanted to add, that there are a lot of guys these days that deal only with older women, now my aunt is a successful women i can't help but wonder what he sees in her, I am pretty sure what she sees in him she is probably attached to some great sex, and the ego boost, but man I just don't get it.

Complicated Ques really.. but I believe there are two answers to this.

Ans 1 in Western Society Its each to their own ppl will live their lives according to their needs.. and this is the #1 reason for age difference relationships! the relationship meets a speciifc need of both parties.

Usually the relationship will last as long as both parties "specific" needs are forfilled.

Ans 2 reaching back into African history ..and still in sections of African Society today. what we would (in the west) call children 12yr old girl 15 yr old boy
are considered young adults ... with the girls old enough to marry ( usually older men)

And boys old enough to Train or Work for their living.. and this system works very well in as much as . The young adults lives become more productive and useful to their communites at a much younger age.

@For the girls many more children can be born ..and when these children have children of their own the grandmothers are still agile and so are far more useful to their Daughters and grand childrens lives...

@For the boys they develop into Responsible!! Men at a very young age and as such can Mentally and physically Maintain the needs of wife & family without issue ..not to mention contribute to his community. ..

Sooo to answer the orginal Ques

This couple Auntie and young Man are getting exactly what they!!! need from each other .. and I dont think it cause for concern.. after all they are both consenting adults!

 

[msstrong]

Just my experience...

Lately we hear about the school teachers going off to prison, or we see relationships on the tele, like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, and men have always dated much younger women. Do you think older women should date younger men? The reason I ask is because my aunt in her 40's tells me she is with a man in his 20's? All I was thinking is it won't work, and she thinks otherwise. I am happy for her, but at the same time, I just don't get it. d
What say you all?

I just wanted to add, that there are a lot of guys these days that deal only with older women, now my aunt is a successful women i can't help but wonder what he sees in her, I am pretty sure what she sees in him she is probably attached to some great sex, and the ego boost, but man I just don't get it.

I am one who always dated older men until recently. It started at 18, with the guy being 27, and the age gap just grew wider and wider, up to 16 years, as the years went by.

Looking back, I was always ready to settle down...that is, I THOUGHT I was ready to settle down. And I would tell each of my partners that I was ready to settle down. I really believed it though...I wasn't trying to be deceiving.

The last serious relationship I had was with a guy 10 years my senior. He was totally ready to settle. So yet again...(being young) I told another man I was ready. This wasn't just any man tho...this was one of those men women dream of sweeping them off there feet...marriage potential...loved me to my core... And I really wanted this relationship to work. Problem is when you're young and ambitious like I was...you tend to still stay open for new opportunities. As much of a good man as he was...soon as an opportunity came, (and just to clarify, it wasn't another man, just new life opportunities that I had to take on my own) my head was all over the place. I didn't know which way to go for a long time. But I eventually just had to end the relationship and go after the opportunity. The guy was devasted...I never knew a man could have such strong emotions. There is definitely much more to this story but long story short...

Based off of my experience, I would say leave the young alone. Maybe if the age gap is after 35, such as a 35 y/o and a 45 y/o, it wouldn't be much of an issue. But when young adults are still inexperienced and still trying to find their way in life, the relationship can probably only go so far. And if the couple believes it is true love, give the younger partner a chance to experience life's ups, downs, and opportunities first...and then rekindle some years down the road. This is at least what I wish my ex would have done. We were once so happy and madly in love, but since I wasn't really ready for the relationship, I recked so much havoc and heartbreak between us that it became unsalvagable. I feel if one of us would have took a step back early on before things became too ugly, we would have one day (once I got some wisdom under my belt) been able to rekindle a great relationship. Awww...what a great man...

But annnyyyywaaaays...yea steer clear of the age gaps when dealing with the young. Just my opinion...