- Apr 21, 2007
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Approximately 21 years ago I may have fathered a daughter. I tried communicating (without commotion) with the mother doing and immediately after the pregnancy, to confirm if I’m the father. She never confirmed. Eventually, I moved away from that city. Nearly 4 years ago the mother entered into rest. The daughter, now in college, appears cared for by her uncle and grandparents (the mother family). When I recently revisited the city, approximately 20 years later, old friends asked have I tried contacting the daughter. I had never talked to her, I am not sure if I am the father. What was she told growing up? She may be calling someone else daddy? She may be wondering why I never tried to contact her, before now. Should I approach the daughter or her immediate family members first? What do I say, to either of them? If she is my daughter, I would want to be part of her life.
I would approach her immediate family first...Talk to them first and see if they have answers. Maybe they can help ease you back into her life...I think if they do say you are her father, it would be best if they approach her first with this news since they know her best...It would be a scary and weird situation if some stranger possibly my father came and to me told me himself that he was my father.
But yeah get a paternity test first.
Understand that there may be a lot of different reactions to this from her. There could be anger, resentment, confusion, or their could be the possibility of joy.
Good luck!