Black Men : I'm A Misogynist And A Homophobic (what Does That Make Me)?

[Destee]

Absolutely ...

I sat up and analyzed that video back and forward - that guy in the video must maintain a manly persona to the public hence this video he's declaring his hate for women but at the same time he must declare his disdain for homosexuality in order not to be seen as gay. To me this video was more of a cry out for help. He included his mother and sister in the video but at the same time he said he loved them. He gave women good instructions in concerns to getting a good man yet he hate women? Its really not about the women - its like he wants someone to crack the mystery for him through outlets like youtube and so forth. Sure he's going to go off on men who call him gay but that's the reassurance he seems to be looking for.

In a sense its almost as though he used the internet as a testing mechanism, you know? There were two forms of testing he was giving through this video:

1.) Can he take angry reactions from people and more importantly women - because the women in his life may react as some of the women on the internet. If he's able to handle that then he will be able to handle them. Part 1 of the test.

2.) Does he have the courage it takes to out himself in front of everyone he knows? People he knows might catch a hold of that video and how will they respond to his views. He keeps saying he don't give a @!#$ what people think but in reality he does because if he didn't he wouldn't have said he don't give a ****. Point 2b) He basically hid his face through the whole video as not to be seen but it wasn't until the end that he actually found the courage to let his face be seen - a man that doesn't give a @!#$ doesn't hid his face. The internet is his training grounds to come out clean with his desires.


You are absolutely right - women force their kids to go to church - I know mines did and we don't want to disappoint our mothers especially knowing their religious views. When I left the church scene I had a hard time talking to my mom about it because she was like 'I didn't raise you like this boy' lol.

He will eventually come clean with his hidden desires because it appears that he's making waves to do it through the resources of the internet.

Again my opinion but this appears to be what he's doing.


Peace



Ru2religious

Oh My Gosh Brother RU2Religious ... i so agree !!! I think it is a cry for help too !!!

He's asking for someone to help him crack this mystery ... just like you said ... and what a mystery it is ... in his mind he thinks he hates women (his own Mother and Sister, how bad can that be?!) and he is homophobic, having all kinds of homosexual thots ... and doesn't even know what that makes him ... he's lingering in this tortured limbo place, where there is no real designation for him ... just lost and looking for someone to find him!

You're right ... he says some good things about women, kinda peeking thru the conversation, in the same manner that his face peeks thru ... and his desires for homosexual interaction peeks thru ... everything has to peek thru, because he's not able to embrace any of it fully, with his whole heart, right now.

He probably loves his Mother and Sister, just doesn't know how to please them. They've probably told him that homosexuality is bad, he grew up with that being instilled in him, and now he doesn't know what to do with it. It's just easier to hate them, than deal with the realities before him. Not only will his Mother and Sister probably be disappointed to learn he may be homosexual, but he's been taught that God will be disappointed too ... what a bummer ... there's no place to hide, no shelter from what's inside of him ... and they planted the seeds in him ... because he probably knows homosexuals that are in good standing with the Creator (even if only in their own minds), that have Mothers and Sisters that love them, in spite of their choices ... but he doesn't have any of that ... and he's not blaming it on God ... he doesn't seem to hate God ... he's hating the women in his Family!

I wouldn't be surprised to learn, that his Mother and Sister don't have a clue that he's dealing with this. They probably see the anger, wrath, etc., but it's all veiled ... they're probably confused ... not understanding what is driving their Son or Brother away ... because i'm sure he's not having these candid conversations with them (for if he were, the problem wouldn't be what it is) ... you're right ... he's using the Internet to build up his nerve maybe, to come clean to them, put all the marbles on the table ... though i don't see him addressing the core issues any time soon, with them or his own self, without some help.

As a Mother, it would be a hard pill for me to swallow, that my Son is homosexual ... but i'd love him still ... and i'd like to think his Mother would too ... but she doesn't even know it's all inside of him like this.

Lots of anger, foolishness, krazee behavior being demonstrated without those closest to him knowing what is at the root of it.

Yes ... he feels all alone and is crying out for help.

I agree with you.

Love You!



Destee

 

[Gorilla]

Gorilla you make some good point but having review this video I beg to differ.

First I don't believe in the homophobic talk because I think that its a socially constructed word which force straight men to accept homosexuality as being consciously and socially acceptable. Now to this video:

All words are socially constructed. I think the heart of the matter is what homophobia actually describes and it is a problem in our society. The only level of acceptance it needs from the heterosexual members of our society is to reasonably end discrimination and allow consenting adults to live their lives as they see fit. It's not about personal apprehension from the perspective of a hypothetical participant. Heck, other straight members of our society do things that I have absolutely no interest in being within a 100 km radius of.

Having observed the video I found that there were certain words he would constantly use which was a cause for questioning. He used the word 'Can't' several of times as though someone or something was holding him back. He went further to use the words, "its not natural" or "its unnatural". It wasn't until 11:05 of the video that I realized that this man has religious convictions which keeps him from homosexual acts. As a matter of fact he went further to say, "all men have asked themselves if they are homosexual" ... NO all men haven't asked themselves whether or not if they were homosexual and most men don't contemplate on the act as he has done and I quote; "I've thought long and hard about it". He also went further and said "it creeps me out the though of being on top of another man" I mean how far is his thoughts actually taking him when contemplating homosexuality?

Religion could play a part in his apprehensions, especially as a Black American. I just don't think that's all there is to it. I'm not entirely sure he's even attracted to men. He just doesn't provide enough information for me to decide one way or the other. Based on how he speaks, I do get the impression that he's had several bad run-ins with women. I also get the impression of a King Lear-eqsue self-resentment. In other words, he detests himself for having bodily appetites towards the very thing he hates.

Here's the point the hatred that he has with women seems to be more rooted in what he feels toward men. I don't believe that an individual is a homosexual because he is angry at women. Misogynist and homosexuality have two very different meanings. This man on the other hand displays something different within his conversation and its as if he's trying to convince the listeners why they should hate women as a way to not feel alone. The suggestion that all men have asked themselves if they were homosexual is another way to not feel bad about himself having those feeling. Nevertheless this man does not really hate women because if you noticed ... at 9:26 in the video he tells women, "ladies don't get with the wrong dude...". Right after that he went back on the misogynist trip but he doesn't hate them. Hes trying to convince himself that black women or women period just don't like him but I don't think that''s the situation. I think it has everything to do with him not liking who he is with women (or think about) and because he has these thoughts of men, he acting out and creating events that doesn't settle well with women. How could you not know that pissin (in his words) is something that you are not supposed to do in front of women? People go to jail around here (California) for something like that and down south a black man pissin in front of a white women might get you thrown in prison or on a rope.

That's an interesting perspective, but the bolded part is why I suspect he's not homosexual at all, even though he discarded some of his porn. I suspect the titles that are left in his collection are likely to contain women, but again he hates the fact that part of him still needs/desires them for something, probably something that isn't too inspiring to say the least.

This guy sounds like just a flat out member of an injured party.

He's creating situations and blaming the women for their reactions. He says he hates women (all women) but I think its more of an issue that he feels that he has no choice but to be with a women based on his religious convictions and he hate not feeling the way he thinks he should feel for women and thus it must be something wrong with women and not him. Nevertheless, while he was talking and the little periods he actually showed his face - around 9:50 in the video as he spoke against homosexuality, his facial expression and the way he was shaking his head seemed to be more that he was trying to convince himself that he just cant go there.

I'm of the opinion that this man has extreme gay thought and that he represses them by blaming women for everything. He started barking at us men as though he had to prove that he wasn't a punk or soft which is his way of showing us that he's not gay but on a psychological level its like he doesn't want to be view as one because if we could read his though as he allowed some to go free - we would most definitely call him a homosexual. Remember he threw away MOST of his porn because they had women in it; WHAT?? If I watch porn its because of the women in it - but in his case he threw MOST of his porn away because it had women in it - well if the others don't have women in it then what in Gods name do they have in it?

This man is fighting his homosexuality and blaming women for it.


Peace



Ru2religious

I do agree that he's likely responsible for a lot of his own misery, but rest of the above commentary doesn't quite follow. This isn't a rant about not being able to be with men. It's a lot of vitrol that's directed at women. I'm not saying that because someone's homosexual it's impossible to be a misogynist, but I think it's likely that this guy has experienced them and been burned for whatever reason. If it's a case of his own desire for men, why offer a warning to women not to get with the wrong man? Is it really a warning with honest intentions or the protest of a man who ends up in situations that don't necessarily favor him?

Could he be gay? It's possible. Could he be bisexual? Entirely possible as well. It's just not interesting enough for me to probe based on what little information is offered, and I definitely wouldn't sit through more episodes of raving bitterness.


I wish him the best of luck on his journey, but this is something he needs to sort out for himself.

If it is a case of being repressed homosexual, I think it's another good argument for a society that's more accepting of our LGBT members. Otherwise, it seems like we're just going to continue to have miserable people who spread more misery to others, and possibly serious harm for no real logical reason.

 

[Omowale Jabali]

All words are socially constructed. I think the heart of the matter is what homophobia actually describes and it is a problem in our society. The only level of acceptance it needs from the heterosexual members of our society is to reasonably end discrimination and allow consenting adults to live their lives as they see fit. It's not about personal apprehension from the perspective of a hypothetical participant. Heck, other straight members of our society do things that I have absolutely no interest in being within a 100 km radius of.



Religion could play a part in his apprehensions, especially as a Black American. I just don't think that's all there is to it. I'm not entirely sure he's even attracted to men. He just doesn't provide enough information for me to decide one way or the other. Based on how he speaks, I do get the impression that he's had several bad run-ins with women. I also get the impression of a King Lear-eqsue self-resentment. In other words, he detests himself for having bodily appetites towards the very thing he hates.



That's an interesting perspective, but the bolded part is why I suspect he's not homosexual at all, even though he discarded some of his porn. I suspect the titles that are left in his collection are likely to contain women, but again he hates the fact that part of him still needs/desires them for something, probably something that isn't too inspiring to say the least.

This guy sounds like just a flat out member of an injured party.




I do agree that he's likely responsible for a lot of his own misery, but rest of the above commentary doesn't quite follow. This isn't a rant about not being able to be with men. It's a lot of vitrol that's directed at women. I'm not saying that because someone's homosexual it's impossible to be a misogynist, but I think it's likely that this guy has experienced them and been burned for whatever reason. If it's a case of his own desire for men, why offer a warning to women not to get with the wrong man? Is it really a warning with honest intentions or the protest of a man who ends up in situations that don't necessarily favor him?

Could he be gay? It's possible. Could he be bisexual? Entirely possible as well. It's just not interesting enough for me to probe based on what little information is offered, and I definitely wouldn't sit through more episodes of raving bitterness.


I wish him the best of luck on his journey, but this is something he needs to sort out for himself.

If it is a case of being repressed homosexual, I think it's another good argument for a society that's more accepting of our LGBT members. Otherwise, it seems like we're just going to continue to have miserable people who spread more misery to others, and possibly serious harm for no real logical reason.

I don't think that he is gay but he sounds like he is afraid or fears that he may have developed an attraction to some men and this is a result of him being incarcerated.

And what was the reason for his incarceration?

In both of this situations I can not only understand but empathize with his situation. It seems as he detests the activity around him while incarcerated as well as the reason for his incarceration. Whatever the case he is another hurt brother torn between his detestations and his own low self esteem.

My last comment is this. When will my brothers learn to just leave them white women alone?

 

[ru2religious]

My last comment is this. When will my brothers learn to just leave them white women alone?

I don't know brotha - I just don't know if it is possible - its like some national white girl bury draws session went on or something but these white girls got some spell over these brothas.