Okay, I have to admit, my hair more then I did the first time I chopped my hair off. And I'm glad for this second chance. Well, more like 2nd opportunity.
I know what my hair likes, what makes it feel softer, the curls pop more, what products it needs in order to go grow.
1. My hair LOVES, LOOOOOVES oil. Last time around I just used creams and aloe vera gel. I liked it, but it just didn't seem right.
Every night before I go to bed I rinse my hair until I get out most of the gel, leave-in conditioner and oils. Then I just put my oils back in my hair, wrap it up and go to sleep.
Every two days out the week I bag my hair. That's when I do the first step, but I wash it, condition it, then but the oil in my hair, place a plastic bag over my head and keep it on over night. Then rinse in the morning and go about with my Wash-n-go.
2. Before I was washing my hair with ORS Shampoo. It was using this with my relaxers and with my 1st time natural. It was great when I had a relaxer, but not so much for my natural hair.
1-2 times a week I use Unrefined Black Soap to wash my hair. I lather some of the soap in my hand and use it to wash my hair. It's great to get out all the excess product in your hair and doesn't strip your hair. Also, it leaves my hair super soft and makes my curls pop.
3. I tried one homemade conditioner, Mayo Conditioner, which I loved. I may just do that once a month. But it really makes your hair shine.
4. One favorite of mine that I live by, is ACV (apple cider vinegar). I did this my first go round with my natural and I loved it. It helps with the pH balance in your hair and also makes my hair feel soft.
I do this ever so often, but not every day or once a week. Maybe once every two weeks or so. I just use a cap of ACV and put it in a 1 Cup of warm water and before I condition my hair I pour on my hair w/out rinsing it out. And then I apply my conditioner. I've heard of women doing it all sorts of other ways.
But I just make sure my hair is conditioned and oil. My biggest concern is retaining moisture, especially where I live where it's always cold.
And I this is what works for me. It might not work for your hair, so find something that fits you and your hair.
So I watched a YouTube video to find a good homemade conditioner to apply to my hair. I found one which was a Mayonnaise protein conditioner.
- 1 Egg
- 2 Tablespoons Mayo
- 1 1/2 teaspoon Honey
Those ingredients may vary depending on the length of hair you have. Since my hair is very short at the moment, I didn't need much.
However, I saturated my hair most of it, then covered it with a shower cap for 35 minutes. You may also want to leave it in your hair longer if you have long thick hair.
I didn't sit under my dryer this time, but I have heard of other ladies who do so. I was just indifferent about the possibility of an egg frying on my head .
BTW, I washed my hair prior to applying the Mayo conditioner.
After 35 minutes, I made sure to rinse out my hair really good.
The results was my hair was shinny and feels really soft. I would definitely do this again. Maybe 2 times a month, as I heard too much protein for the hair really isn't too good.
Last year, in the summer of 2011, I felt that it was time I get rid of my relaxed hair, as it was breaking off constantly. I had it colored which attributed to the breakage, I was getting tired of having to relax my hair every month or so, and having to use a hot flat iron (which was also damaging) every day. To put it simply, it was too much work. Plus, I felt like a prisoner to the chemicals. So one night, I came home and took a pair of scissors and cut my hair all the way down to the new growth. After I cut it all off a part of me regretted my quick decision. I remember looking at my hair on the ground and around the sink thinking to myself, What have I done? Well there's no going back now. And then there was another part that felt free. As if I was brand new and I didn't have this dead hair weighing me down any more. And I was elated by the new journey I was about to embark to becoming a natural girl.
Over the course of of the year, I dug deep into the natural hair care world. Exploring blogs, forums, and YouTube videos on different types of natural hair regimens, and it was too much fun.
One my most favorite regimen was the Avocado Mask. My hair was so healthy and so strong. But there were parts of my hair that irritated me, as it wasn't as curly as the rest of my hair, but was kind of frizzy.
All that natural hair care excitement began to die out. And it seemed like my growth was taking forever, as I wanted to try new hairstyles with my now TWA (Teenie Weenie Afro). My patience had worn thin. So in the beginning of 2012, I stood in my bathroom, relaxer in one hand and comb in the other. I was going back to being relaxed.
I remember after I shampooed and conditioned my hair, my hair was healthy looking. I started to regret my decision to revert back. But again, there wasn't any going back now, unless I cut it all off again. But I decided that I was going to just be a relaxed girl. I felt like I had gotten back with an old ex whom I hated, but only put up with because he was "good looking".
But this rekindled relationship with my relax hair was more damaging then before. At first everything was fine, but as time went on, my hair fell out more and more. And I became less interested in up-keeping my hair and fell into just wearing hats as often as I could.
I missed my natural state, I missed my hair regimen, and my avocado mask....I missed being able to twist curls into my hair and making it springy.
My hair was EVERYWHERE...Wherever I went, I left a trail of strands. The back of my hair was falling out the most. When I washed my hair clumps of it would come out. I wanted to cry. My crown of hair was becoming a huge burden again. And my relationship with my hair was not going in the right direction and it was time to once again breakup.
On December 16, 2012, I went out, got completely drunk. Got into my shower, got my hair wet, got out, took my scissors and CHOPPED THAT CRAP OFF!
So here I am again, going back to the path of naturality. I'm more prepared then I was before and I know what the expect. With that said, I ready to stick with it this time.
Either on here on Destee or in real life, people have their own opinions and it's rare that one comes across a person who admits that their opinion is wrong...Protecting and shielding their ego from humiliation and failure.
Everyone feels that what they believe in is right, and that they have the answer to everything. They feel that whatever comes out of their mouth is truth. But of course this is so, because no one wants to ever be wrong.
I fight with myself on just letting people state what they feel and letting it be that, especially if I disagree with their stance. I believe that is a valuable skill that one learns over time. It is a skill I long to develop within myself.
I believe it starts with humility. The self-righteous attitude, IMO, most of the time lacks modesty and respect through opinions. It can be a double-edged sword. While most seem to have a good intention on what they say, the self-righteous attitude interferes and belittles those it is speaking to and about.
Humility opens doors to listening and respecting other's opinions, and then conveying, in a respectful manner, that they disagree, and it gives them a chance to learn, take it in, and think about what the other person said, while taking in consideration of the other person's feelings.
For example, I have called people names and said that their opinion was asinine. Though it maybe, it was wrong and disrespectful for me to say it aloud.
Whatever intention I had in order to sway the opinion of the other person, I now have crushed my argument to pettiness...thus, my point will have failed.
Along with developing a humble attitude comes patience. The patience to tolerate ignorance. The patience to learning how to give the other person a chance to speak without butting in. The patience to understanding where the other person's opinion comes from...Patience is NOT something we are born with, but as we get older, it can be something we learn through experiences of life.
People are passionate creatures. We want to be loved, we want to be accepted, we want to be heard, and we want to be understood.
When people don't love what we do, don't accept who we are, don't listen to what we say, and do not understand where we are coming from, and sometimes we lash out...It's as if this is WAR...We don't take the time to think about why this person doesn't feel the way we feel. We automatically assume ignorance, even stupidity. But with patience from both sides, you may never agree, but you can come to an easy agree to disagree.
It is also important to just admitting you are wrong. I have had arguments where I knew I was wrong, but I was not going to admit it. There was no way I was going to say it aloud, and possibly humiliate myself. But the thing is, most people will respect you for standing up and admitting your downfall. Because when you do not admit you are wrong, not only are you lying to everyone else, but you are lying to yourself. And who can respect a liar?
Accepting that no one is always going to agree with you. There are people from all walks of life coming from different backgrounds...They develop opinions through personal experiences, religious beliefs, different cultures, various demographics, and so on and so forth. And their truth is going to be different from your truth.
But overall, a self-righteous ego can be blinding. All you see is yourself. All you see is what you know. You may be right, but you must get over yourself.
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