Black People : Zero Tolerance Attitude

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by legit-writer, Dec 16, 2011.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When getting to know someone that you may consider dating or they say they are interested in dating you, what is your take on them having the Zero Tolerance Attitude... What I mean by that is, if you two have a misunderstanding about something or if they do not like something you may have said, rather than talk to you about it, they 'run' or 'back away' until they 'fade into the darkness' and you hear nothing else from them.. and they also tell you that every since they got their heart broken, they have developed no tolerance. By the way, that is just one example of zero tolerance attitude. also, is the zero tolerance attitude ok with you ? why or why not ? and for those who are put off by the zero tolerance attitude, where do you draw the line and say "nope! no more!"
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Peace and Blessings Sister,

    In this scenario, the relationship will die on its own, if any of the participants ... run, back away, fade into darkness, and are never heard from again.

    Each of us probably has our own "zero tolerance" items ... everyone is free to determine for themselves, what those will be.

    I'd have no problem with someone saying to me, i have zero tolerance for Black Women ... for example ... that's their right, including Black Men.

    I'd appreciate them letting me know up front, and i'd wish them well.

    What else can one do ... force them to like Black Women ... ?? ... then be with someone that was forced to be with me?

    I have no problem with folk having their own standards, preferences, wants, hopes, dreams, fantasies, desires, etc. ... 'cause i have mine.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    People are always going to meet or be with someone they don't agree with on something...If that person is always running away because of a disagreement then they will never find true happiness with anyone...

    The "Zero Tolerance Attitude" gets you zero relationships...
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    When it comes to relationships and this zero tolerance it will never work
    if one feel this way from the start they closing the communication line
    taking the rights of equality and to hear the other side it's like a one way stree
    Me i'll smile and say thank you and good bye because the only way to get a
    zero is 1+0=0 not 1+1 that would be us 2..........for a women he's not the one
    and likewise for any brother she not the one .
     
  5. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yeah because i was talking to a guy who basically comes off a certain way that makes me uncomfortable and i told him about it, and he basically gave me the whole 'i will call you back' line, so it's obvious he does not like to be called out on things he do that puts a person off. He also says that since his ex broke his heart, he has been zero tolerant and talks about how he has been through this and that as if he is the only one who has been through pain, when in reality that's life unfortunately. You will feel pain. happiness, and whatever else. If you close off because you don't want to be hurt again, then really you are setting yourself up to be unhappy. I was being positive towards him and he still talks like he is living in the past and that's something I won't tolerate... how ya like me now? (referring to him)
     
  6. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    I think what you are describing is a desirable quality to have. I would describe myself as something similar to that.. but I don't fade, I cut.. I carry the scissors in my back pocket at all times. I call it being decisive.. and for me, it emanates from me being completely clear about who I am, what I'm doing and what I want. The second I realize that something is not going to work, I jump, cut and bounce. And thats in any kind of relationship/friendship. I have too many other things I can use my time for to waste it. So I understand dudes that do that.
     
  7. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You can't please everyone, and a relationship is not a relationship if there is no communication.

    However, it is a woman's prerogative to be coy, and a woman who has to spell everything out to a man would be boring, the inner beauty of a woman in many ways is her coyness!

    but a man being coy? !
    Well if it happens drop him like a hot potato!
    If you are a good person and truly love yourself unconditionally and are wiling to love someone in return then someone will come, into your life
     
  8. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well it looks like it worked out for the best for both of you....

    If a man don't wanna talk to you, then good for him and good for you....Keep it pushing....You can always find and do better.

    He sounds like he's some scorned p***ified man...And he would have just dragged you down with his dysfunctional past.

    However, I can understand about being hurt and not wanting to go through that same heartache and then building up this wall to block out the pain...But then you ultimately block out a person who may potentially be the one who can help heal the pain...

    But if you really like him, then you may have to be patient with him....And if he really likes you he'll call you back and you can go from there...

    But if he doesn't and you don't really like him, then go with the latter.
     
  9. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yeah i understand that but i refuse to go through hell just to be with someone. i won't do that to a man so you know whats up. and also, he talks as if he iss the only one who has gone through things, when i am sure there are people who have had it worse than him
     
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