Your Personal Opinions on Love

Discussion in 'Black Teenagers - Teenz Exprezzed!' started by Sodwn2earth, Apr 27, 2005.

  1. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey everyone. I'm a new member and have an important question concerning love and relationships. Where is the breakdown between the men and women of our race? Why is it so hard for us to communicate, stay faithful, and ultimately have loving, fulfilling relationships? Could it be male ego, the media, fear of comittment, what? Please give me your honest opinions. Speak on all aspects that apply. Guys don't be afraid to express yourselves!!!
     
  2. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello Sodwn2earth

    Welcome to Destee. I see you have post this thread in the teenagers forum so I can only assume that you are a teenager. If this is the case I would say to you if you are have relationship problems I wouldn't worry. The teen years are too early to worry about a serious relationship. The teen years should be spent on self development and preparation for adult life. Though in our teen years we practice adulthood somethings are better left alone until we are adults. To answer your question, though physical attraction is inevitable young adults are still searching for the formula for adulthood gender specific. In other words young relationships don't often work because the participents still don't know how to be men and women yet. Males and females don't learn what defines a person as men and women sometimes well into their 30's. Then there is cultural images of men and women through the media. As men and women we often fantasize about the good life and we see our fantasies in various mediums of art. Beit videos, movies, magazines, music, books , etc, when we don't have a positive man and women in our lives we learn from other sources. We tend to gravitate and admire those who perpetrate our fantasies. Remeber the commercial jingle "If could be like Mike"? That is what many of us are doing. We are being like Mike, Sean, Shawn, Percy, Will, Kim, Brittany, Beyonce, Dana, Janet, etc instead of being like Mom and Dad or Grandma and Grandpa. Then there are other characters we tried to be like that will lead us to prison or an early grave. As an adult we must understanding what it is to be a Man or Woman not just male and female. When we understand ourselves we will better equipped to understand eachother.


    Peace

    Radical Faith
     
  3. miss-no-love

    miss-no-love Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it's hard to stay faithful because the person you with aint got what the other person might have nah mean. It's hard to communicate because some people have problems reaching out to others and for having a good relationship I can't really answer that right now but hey that my opinion on things. Welcome to destee. :hearts4:
     
  4. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    We have for centuries been subverted by government and citizens of this country. Mixed, confused but know some things just aren’t working or right, many find it hard to place a finger on the issue. Making love is private, and immediate satisfaction has taken the place of long term gratification. Self respect gave way; dedication has faltered and become part of the pleasure principle. Look that up in the dictionary. Janet Jackson made a song out it, but it is real. We are trying to reduce the pain. We are wrong for allowing these things to continue knowing they exist. But changing someone or a group of individuals or race will take a major shift in economics and some creative avenues of power balance. There are committed individuals, male and female. Then there are more not committed because of its lack of control over what is given up. Trust is given up.

    There is reliance in another to take into account. Dependence if you will. Then there is vulnerability in surrender. Straight talking and dealing. But never Ever be afriad to live this way. In the long run, you have stood on your principles and walked as you talked.

    You and I have nothing more than our word ( or promise ) sometimes. If it isn't worth anything then we are found empty.

    Those have to be first admitted and then faced. Similar to how they have an alcoholic admit he has a problem. W are coming face to face with ours.

    You see it young. It grows and tells the young there is something wrong. Never be afraid to question what you see and know. The young folks today aren't blind or stupid. They see Hypocrisy. In everything. Our Government. Their parents. Teachers. Friends.

    Cut these folk ( off ) out and keep those you can't cut out at a distance from your treasures. Those treasures are the one's you love. Your money. Your time. Your attention or concern.

    Demand the attention you desire, and settle for no less. If that attention is undivided, state that. But because a man talks with another woman or a woman talks with another man it doesn’t mean they will take it further. Women have more control I believe it stopping a lot of this madness. Men will change if they desire the company and attention of the woman in their life. Don’t date gangsters or wangsters. Prison felons learned nothing but more creativity to use when released. One reason is when they are released there us nothing has changed in society when they are released.

    Those trying to get over. Usually go under. Those trying to get thru usually make it or do make a difference.

    I can say never be afraid ( or worry unnecessarily ) that someone you love or care about will cheat or stray. If they desire their freedom. Make it clear up front your willing to give it. Let them know you wil do the same.

    Let them go, but make it clear. You don’t want any thing brought home you don’t deserve. You don’t want others in your face talking about your man / woman. This is not acceptable. Ask your man / woman this.

    “ Can you only be with me, for as long as our relationship last. “ if the reply isn’t an immediate yes? Then it isn’t something they will hold to. The challenge will work and if it doesn’t they broke it. They deserve to be dumped. Something I know they are tired of too.

    Life Taste Good!

    A single event can blind a man.
    Hopefully one day.
    As he looks at himself
    In that mirror.
    He will see himself and change.
    Life is so good when love in my arms once stood.
    Sometimes you can’t get it all
    The love you desire in one place.
    Here you get a bit, there you get more.
    But you should never settle
    For bits and pieces all your life.



    Radical gave some sound advice.

    Along the way ask the tough questions as the situation changes as you grow and mature.

    When dating.

    Do you care enough about me to keep me safe from disease and harm?

    When considering marriage.

    Do you care enough about me to keep me safe from disease and harm?
    If they have kids already, will you be allowed to discipline them?
    Agreeing not to go to bed angry or promise to talk it out the next day, but know a resolution is promised and on the way.

    There are many others in both situations to ask and say, get answers and look them in the eye as they speak. Trust yourself ( you have to trust them also ) and be sincere, demand sincerity from them.

    There is no subject off limits in a relationship if it is on your mind. But some things aren’t acceptable, allowed and tolerated in either case. Make it clear and be consistent.

    No man has the right put his hands on you, because he should be arrested for assault, put your hands on no man, he has the right not be assaulted either.

    Those around you and know you and him and will see, know and come to understand you have a great relationship and outside influence isn’t allowed or tolerated.

    From no one.

    Your threshold and phone are yours. No one can enter your home ( by either of these means ) unless invited and when they act up. Get to stepping!
     
  5. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you to those who have already replied. I sincerely appreciate all of your thoughts and comments. To those who are wondering, yes I am a teenager,17, and no I am not in a serious relationship persay. This question relates more to what I have observed, rather then what I am currently expirencing. And to Radical Faith, I do understand what you mean. I'm going through that phase right now. I believe I still have alot more growing to do.....
     
  6. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Personally, I feel as if love is a joke for teens our age. Me, myself, being a victim of so many of the games boys tend to play has totally changed my philosophy on love since the first time I came here. If you would have asked me this same question, oh let's say three years ago, when I was pushing fifteen I would have been like, "Yeah, love is real. It's so possible." But now that I'm older (18) and much wiser I'm a firm believer that it's just not possible for someone my age. I feel it's not possible for teenagers because girls have too many harmonal issues to deal with boys. They get too attached to boys that don't give a, excuse my french, but a [email protected] about them. They want what the romance novels (or urban fiction novels where I live) talk about. They want a man that is in it for them. A supporter, provider, and protector type of brother. They're blinded. They don't see that what they read is fairytale life and that you have to deal with reality when facing boys today. Boys (or some might say young men) today are wanna be thugs and hood lovers. Meaning, they do what they see on television. They are also blinded. They wanna have the clothes, cars, and h0es. And although some don't have the cars and clothes. In their minds, they DO have the h0es though. That's what they look at females as, h0es. They don't want one female because they think it's cool to have plenty. And young girls think it's cool to date boys who think this because they think it's what they read or have seen. It's messed up, but yes, I've opened my eyes and accepted it. What else can I do? You can't change it. Journalist and writers put this into their heads. That's why I want to be one. Because the way I see, even though it's hidden, they have so much power in their hands that they don't even realize it.
     
  7. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It does seem like a lot of the time, relationships with our peers are like that, but not neccesarily. The guy I'm with isn't like that at all whatsoever. He's not a thug nor a "square", as some would call it. He's only been in serious relationships, and I wouldn't be involved if it wasn't a serious thing going on between us. We don't depend on each other for money or material things. All I require from him is his heart and mind, and he the same from me. We have a mutual understanding of what it is we want out of life, and out of this relationship. We're not so caught up in today's world as to not give thought to our futures. There's plenty you can do. Your perception also has a lot to do with the enviornment your in and what it is your exposed to. I once thought the same thing until I had the chance to expirence something different, and I was granted a new frame of mind. But we are still young and have a lot more to expirence. I wonder how similar our views will be 10 years from now?
     
  8. Prince Yakeem

    Prince Yakeem Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Love has no set age nor a limit as long as it is and remains unconditional. The first I "fell in love" I was ten and Although me and her no longer are together (Mainly because she moved away) we stiil share a deep rooted love for one another. I am currently seventeen and I understand that LOVE is a concept far beyond most teens rational and that for the most part my generation is much more focused on lusting after one another.

    Overall people are mis-educated on what love truly is and can be. Their minds are operating on such a low level most people miss the point when it comes to matters of the heart. A mature male and female that are willing to listen to each other and not base their counterparts good points on materal things that dont even matter in the end should be able to express love freely between one another. Sadly such actions are..like I said beyond most teens and people overall.
     
  9. BioRhythm

    BioRhythm Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Prince Yakeem.........

    No offense intended but you are a brotha after my own heart...

    I'm 18... I've seen a lot....
    Maturity has nothing to do with age or environment... It all depends upon the person... I believe in this whole-heartedly... yes, we all know it has an impact, but the truth is the strenght of that impact depends upon the person...

    All my life I have been percieved as being older than I am.... even now most believe me to be around 23..24... I have seen the life's belly... its weakness... its strengths...

    I have seen pain and i have seen joy... I have reflected upon both.
    I have seen very few teens who actually can admit to knowing what love is....

    Females have supposedly been in love with me many times... but what can you thing of someone who after a week of talking to you... says that they love you....

    I am presently in a relationship with someone who has surpassed all my expectations... and in this case even i must admit that i cannot place a finger precisely on what love is.... She makes all of my past love seem child's play although i know that all of those i have loved i still love to this day.... it is just amazing how someone could take such strong emotion and conviction and make it seem as if it were nothing... How strong my love is for her! We have had a difficult and most troubling relationship and have a hard road before us.... yet when one truly loves another being... you hang on to your seat and try to make the best of your ride, albeit how bumpy the road gets...

    Now someone tell me... what is love? :car:
     
  10. SwtT

    SwtT Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm gonna keep my opinion of love short and sweet: One person can really f u c it up for the next person down the line. True love happens once in a blue moon.
     
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