Poetry Critiques : YOU TOLD ME

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by PLATINUMILLITY1, Nov 14, 2005.

  1. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    you told me that you loved me
    and put no 1 above me
    you told me that you need me
    and no 1 else could be me
    you told me that you wanna keep me
    and no 1 else could see me
    you told me all these lies 4 all these years
    and now im saying goodbye fa real
    you told me how i was the best
    and i was you down chick nothin less
    you told me the other broads coudn't compare
    and i was the one with that special flare
    you told me that you loved me
    and put no 1 above me
    you told me that you need me
    and no 1 else could be me
    you told me you wanna keep me
    and no ther girls could even see me
    so i guess you lied about sayin you'd never leave me
    but i just cant believe i put up wit the ish you told me
    :hearts2:
     
  2. bigdrizzle

    bigdrizzle Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Platty P...if I TOLD YOU that I was really feelin this scribe, would u believe me...Well its the truth...This is a nice piece..thanx for sharing...


    Peace!
     
  3. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol thank u drizzo lol
     
  4. sonnee01

    sonnee01 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    WOW Plat... Flow on sis...
     
  5. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    THANK YOU SONNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE:kiss: :hearts2: :thanks:
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    this run like whoaaaaaaaa awesome piece
    you could have broken it into a few stanza like this

    You told me that you loved me
    and put no 1 above me
    you told me that you need me
    and no 1 else could be me
    you told me that you wanna keep me
    and no 1 else could see me.

    You told me all these lies 4 all these years
    and now i'm saying goodbye fa real
    you told me how i was the best
    and i was your down chick nothin less
    you told me the other broads couldn't compare
    and i was the one with that special flare.

    You told me that you love me
    and put no 1 above me
    you told me that you need me
    and no 1 else could be me
    you told me you wanna keep me
    and no other girls could see me.

    So i guess you lied about saying you'd never leave me
    but i just can't believe , i put up wit the ish you told me.

    the you'd could be better expressed with you'll or you're

    but this piece was all that and some i really enjoyed this made me wanna just flow
    all up in it wow !
     
  7. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanx rich!!!!!! yeah thats smthin i need to start doin i dont do tha stanzaz which i should
     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    it bring out the flava and speak deeper to the reader most of the time
    but often it hit the core str8 the way you have it ...i love this flow
    i still want to dance in it.
     
  9. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    LOL THANX BUT GO A HEAD DO UR THING LOL GET DOWN DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT LOL
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    revisit of a great written piece and classic from da phatty1 files
     
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