Black Poetry : You Make Me Feel...Revisited

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by watzinaname, Oct 30, 2004.

  1. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I decided to combine an old short drop from the quiet peaceful lounge with a new piece....the old one is in orange, the new one has red text.


    You make me feel...
    The leaves are gently falling.
    You make me feel...
    They are dancing to the ground.
    You make me feel...
    It's so windy, the leaves look like they're crawling.
    You make me feel...
    When you walk through them, they make this crackling sound.
    You make me feel like dancing in those leaves, and tossing
    them high in the air.
    You make me feel like I'm an innocent child, without a worry,
    without a care.

    CASCADING
    Cascading leaves
    dancing
    fluttering in the breeze
    romancing
    floating down with ease
    enhancing the ground
    with autumn hue
    every time
    I envision you
    as we drink our magenta
    vintage autumn wine
    it is our time
    to eternally entwine
    as the old maple emits
    a colorful carpet, love
    drifts gently down
    like a feather from a dove
    blessing us with peace
    from the heavens above
    As we tread love's path
    leaving a new trail to reveal
    This is the way
    you make me feel....
    revisited
     
  2. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Perfect revisit for this time of year. I like the way you dropped the leaves and took me back and had me experiencing fall all over again. I'm in California. Some of the trees shed their leaves here, but not like they do in the Northest or Midwest. Piling leaves and jumping thru. This are things I'll do with you. Rolling :spin: crown, reddish brown. Maple leaves fall down. They do make crackling sounds. Catch one as it drops. Things I do in the season fall. Rake them. Toss them like you said. Let them come down on my head. Me and my lady laying in them like a bed. Kissing as I take leaves out of her hair. Hide and seek. They will never find. I'm hiding in the pile of mine. :terrific: Watz :love: I love this poem!
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow....I mean....Wow....Hodee that flow made me speechless. That was exactly the "feel" I was speaking of. Short of taking a weekend excursion to experience those leaves again, I am happy to know my words took you there. Thanks a million.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    the time of fall this was outstanding wow!
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well gee Rich glad to know you enjoyed this, thank you brotha.
     
  6. MzMelanie2u2

    MzMelanie2u2 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :hearthis: ...this piece has such a sweet vibe...It just makes me want to go play in leaves...lol.. and the imagery in here is off the hook, i just have this vivid mental picture of this crisp autumn day that you are decribing with such detail..."keep Em Comin" poet...1 :welldone:
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you for telling me that this scribe took you to that place in autumn MzMelanie.
     
  8. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is one of the most beautiful times of the year, and you showed us why. I can visualize every picture you paint, sister girl. You're the bomb.
     
  9. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, the trees look so beautiful with all those reds, oranges, and yellows...makes me want to paint one. Thank you sister gempis, appreciated.
     
  10. Ladysoul

    Ladysoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is amazing! I would read a a few lines then just envision all you had said. Wonderful work!!!
     
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