Black Relationships : "YOU BRING OUT THE WORSE IN ME!"

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Ms_MochaB, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. Ms_MochaB

    Ms_MochaB Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If that statement is made to you by someone that claims to "love" you, how would you take it? Especially if the person who said it refuses to apologize. Would ending a relationship over this particular statement be justified? I NEED TO KNOW ASAP .... A FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT.
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hi Sister MsMochaB ... based on the scenario above, i'd not get too bent out of shape. It sounds like the kind of comment one would say when they're a bit upset, kinda grasping at something to say. In their desire to grasp for something, and upset, if that is the case ... i'd be glad they didn't grab something more offensive to say to me. I'd forgive them for that, even if they didn't ask for it, rather than letting an entire friendship / relationship die because of those words.

    Oftentimes, those we love most are able to bring the best and worst out of us. It's not necessarily a bad thing, just the truth.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. mchinadoll

    mchinadoll Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I do not know if that statement would end my relationship. To be honest, I bet that statement is true in a lot of situations. There are relationships that I have witnessed that are love/hate relationships, and the two individuals involved continue to hurt one another, and no one ever leaves the situation or try to find out why they continue to do the things they do. Yet still, they stay together. Is that bringing out the worse in one another? Probably so, I think.

    I have been going through pure hell the past couple of months with my Husband, his exwife and their kids situation, and we both said a lot of hurtful things to one another lately. "YOU BRING OUT THE WORSE IN ME!", would not make me end a relationship. Maybe if he said "YOU MAKE ME WANT TO STAB YOU", now that, would probably make me end the relationship (Just putting a little humor in the situation).
     
  4. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Taken out of context, such a statement cannot be judged properly. Who can rightfully say that you should end a relationship based on an isolated statement? Obviously, something lies beneath the issue which still troubles the person who made the statement. Find out what is at the heart of the matter and deal with it before making any drastic decision. Finally, pray about it. Much love.
     
  5. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, honestly I could never say those word to a woman that I loved and wanted to be with. But that's just me. To me that statement means that he feels that you're not a positive addition to his life. That's just my opinion though. I think you should give him a chance to apologize and make it right. If not, and he continues to show his @ss, you might have to take it a step further.

    And no, I don't mean setting him on fire while he's sleeping like on the Lifetime Channel.
     
  6. Ms_MochaB

    Ms_MochaB Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you, thank you, thank you .... I know people say things out of anger, and that is one area of my life that God has helped me with sooooo much. I guess he just doesn't realize the impact that it had on me. Destee I appreciate your words --- Healing words; China ... "Stab"? lol u know that's some stuff. thanks sis for the laugh. 1poet, in all my searching for answers your are right, I need to pray. I should have went there first, but my emotions took over and I was just hurt. Thanks for putting me back on straight street. kente, I don't believe I could ever say that to a man that I love either, but as you said, I will give him a chance 'cause that --gg- was as good as gone ... lol
     
  7. mchinadoll

    mchinadoll Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ms Mocha. I wish you the best. Your kind words in an earlier post gave me a different prespective to look at in my situation. I appreciate that. Again, thank you and be blessed.
     
  8. Ms_MochaB

    Ms_MochaB Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ..... As did yours mchinadoll .... Ditto!
     
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