Something I heard more than once when i was a child, I did not realize til I was grown. But these statements literally brainwashed me, turned me against my dad when I had no reason not to trust him. looking back, my dad told me several times that I could come live with him whenever I wanted to, by then however I was already brainwashed into thinking he was the big bad wolf.
Another question is, how many single mothers are at fault at least in part for the failure of their marriage/relationship. meaning some of these mothers who call the daddy no good, are literally using the child support system as a weapon to win arguments, or get "the last word". this is a complex problem that both men and women are at fault.
for instance I know a guy who’s wife found some adult video clips on his cpu's hard drive. she took their kid and left him in the middle of the night all in the name of her "religious beliefs", not because he cheated, or was on dope ,or was in and out of jail, but because she found porn on the computer. she refuses to let him see the kid, and now she is suing for child support. no basically this guy is not currently in his kids life ,because the baby's mother is "mad" at the dad, ridiculous I say.
What I am saying is you cannot automatically assume that just because the mother is the single parent, that means that the baby's daddy is no good, it just maybe be, and many times is vice versa. a little bit off topic, but i thought this sentiment was relevant.
But to answer the question, this type of ignorance will have damning effects on the kids psyche.
Brother Therious ... in regard to the question about the failure of the relationship being partially the Mother's fault, is certainly true, for both parties are in it together and must share equally in the outcome ... good or bad.
It's really unfortunate that we are able to decide to become involved with other adults on our own, yet require the court system (white people) to get us out of circumstances we put ourselves in. Adult Black Men and Women should be able to work out such things for themselves.
If the adults involved can't work it out for themselves, in the best interest of all involved, the court system is there to try and do it for you. It's been there long enough for every adult to know, this could be the end, prior to becoming involved with each other. The court system is no great big surprise to anyone, the way they meet out justice.
With this in mind, it seems every Brother and Sister ... especially Brothers ... would be very very very careful of where they put their penis, or any actions or interactions that might remotely end them up in the last place they probably want to be ... child support court.
Yeah ... the Brothers (or Sisters) can blame the other parent for their being there. They could even blame it on the rain, but at some point I'd hope that they'd recognize their very own conscious decision to become involved with a person to a degree that could land them in this place ... and that can't be overlooked ... for it was the start of it all.
They are totally responsible for that ... allowing such a relationship to exist in their life ... for it did not have to be.
They made the decision to put the penis in the vagina, when they could have chosen not to do it.
It's like deciding to leave dry land, and get on a boat, and head out to sea.
Once out there, a hole in the boat develops, the winds toss you to and and fro, and the captain can't do anything about it! A friend invited you on the outing, and you could even blame them for your being there. But ultimately, you decided to leave the dry land, and board the boat. You could spend your time feeling seasick, hoping you survive the ordeal, blaming everyone but yourself ... which we often do as a people ... never considering you were once safe, on dry land, prior to willingly boarding the boat. We often try to put the consequences of our choices on others ... but it's not really how life works.
We are each responsible for the decisions we make, and will reap the reward or suffer the consequences accordingly.
If a Brother doesn't want to be in court with a Sister, about child support, he can completely and totally avoid that by keeping his penis in his pants.
Aint no sense in crying about what happened after the penis enters the vagina ... because at that point you've relinquished control ... it's over ... quit crying and pay.
It's no secret. It should not be a surprise. In fact, it should be expected.
So, let us be very careful and wise regarding our genitalia ... for the consequences are great!
It's good to be sharing with you again!
Love You!
Destee