Yes Ma'am - Yes Sir - No Ma'am - No Sir

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Destee, May 21, 2004.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hello Family,

    I grew up having to say these things and taught my children the same.

    When children respond as above, is it a sign of respect?

    Is it a sign of disrespect if they don't?

    Do you teach / require your children to do this?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello, I guess this is a new forum.

    I am not a parent yet....SORRY. I'll just speak my peice and leave. I just wanted to give my perspective incase no one else comes from where I do.

    I never had to call my parents or anyone Sir or Ma'am. This is actually a cultural thing and one can be perfectly respectful and never say it. Down in the US, especially the south, I guess the culture is that you do say those things.

    People should teach their kids what is generally acceptble where they live I suppose. I personally will teach my future kids as I was taught. Everyone who is much older is Mr or Mrs__________ unless they say otherwize, then you call them as they want to be called. Mom and Dad are just that "mom(my) and dad(dy)". I will not require the word "sir" or "maam" added onto a yes or no response. JMO

    I look forward to reading in this forum but wont post too often unless asked.
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    MrBlak ... Hello and Welcome! :wave:

    Yes, this is a new forum, suggested by our Sister PurpleMoons. I appreciate you adding your views to this, and all the other forums you've been participating in. It's a pleasure to have you with us. Please don't hesitate in responding to any thread, in any forum. We want you to make yourself at home, because you are.

    I agree that the Sir and Ma'am responses are no doubt a vestige of the south, here in the States. I'm sure it's the way slaves had to respond ... hmmmm ... thanks for giving me more to think about regarding this.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    I was'nt raised to to say the sirs/ma,ams either but was taught to respond
    by saying yes and no instead of un huh and naw! I do my best to instill this in my children also. Kids today seem to be so caught up on speaking ebonics that they don't seem to understand that this language is foreign to our senoirs and is looked upon as disrepect. Just the other day while sitting on my porch, One of my many nephews was riding on a bike with out brakes. He jumped off the bike to keep from crashing and his bike rammed into the neighbors car, Who was also sitting on his porch and witness the whole thing.
    Instead of my nephew apologizing the formal way, he says to the man, (oh! My bad!) I was furious! I asked him what was that? That is no way to apoligize for what had happened and commanded him to apoligize formally. Although I no he was sincere when he said this, which to him means the same thing as an apology, it just did'nt feel appropriate to me. Anyhow, every time I hear them speaking to an adult like they are their age, I,ll be sure to correct them on their responses. I'm their constant reminder and to them, I'm a big pain in the but! Hehehe!
     
  5. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Destee, I do/did not teach my daughter to say sir/mam either because it wasn't taught to me, nor was Yes/no instilled in me either but...common sense allowed me along with much growth to teach her the proper way to speak and answer her elders, ...I didn't stop there, I taught her to say yes/no to ALL young or old because Everyone is due respect...everyone. Even as I write...I have never disrespected my mother and she wasn't always right. And when she's around older people that totally show disrespect to her? I taught her to simply excuse herself...and just leave. Purplemoons you are so right about the language of the young, I also here things like:
    hit me up, hip me on the hip, holla, dog, my bad, yo, and I can't remember all the things they say...but I do not allow it in my house period! :nono:
    my reason for not allowing this kind of language in my house is because we (all of us aldults) don't need no future "yo's in the world...we need presidents.
     
  6. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i think it should be taught. i firmly believe in respect of elders no matter what language i am communicating in.
     
  7. vj57

    vj57 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes ma'am and Yes Sir are words of respect. It was not common among the slaves. Upon approaching a woman centuries ago, men tipped their hats and would say, "Good afternoon, Ma'am!" They wouldn't even curse in front of women.

    I was taught those courtesies and it has been passed down to my children. Any man or woman old enough to be my parents are addressed as "Mr. Jim" or "Miss Sue". The word "aunt" or "uncle" is used for my parents' siblings. My children refer to their grandparents as "Mom-Mom", "Grandmom" or "Pop-pop".
    Everyone refers to my dad as "Pop".

    I have no problem with using those titles and I know my kis do the same.

    I hate that word "holla". My daughter uses it and it irritates me. Instead of her saying, "Mom, could you call me back when you get in?", she says, "Holla back!"

    Manners and respect will get you far in life. There is nothing demeaning or slavish about these words.
     
  8. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yes

    My children tho still young and in training, have been taught to say yes/no sir, or yes/no maam. It just sounds better, and it does show respect to the adult.

    Mr.Blak,
    Please, your opinion counts to and I love to hear your feed back. So make yourself @ home alright :)
     
  9. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I've given Destee's question much thought and although I too was born and raised in the south, I was never expected to speak using "sir" or "ma'm" when communicating verbally to anyone, regardless of their age. I was however, taught to respond using titles for older people such as "Mr.", "Mrs." "aunt", "cousin", "uncle", etc. Although in many instances when it comes to family, we may often be allowed to use other terms of endearment and respect depending on the preferences of those to whom we speak to. When my mother's father was still alive, everyone always referred to him as "Papa" and that was acceptable to him and still considered respectful when his grandchildren called him that too. I don't see anything wrong with teaching your children to say "sir" or "ma'm" if that's what you like, although to me it sounds so...British...so I never chose to teach my daughter to speak that way. Then too, my daughter was raised in an entirely different environment than I was so knowing that, I didn't want white people having a slavery flashback and getting all confused if she happened to speak that way to them (cause I'd have to mess them up) so I taught her a different way to address adults.

    Queenie :D
     
  10. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    Yes Ma'am - Yes Sir - No Ma'am - No Sir!

    It just shows that you were raised the right way, your parents were raised the right way, theit parents were raised the right way, and most of all, your kids were raised the right way.

    It shows that parents are even able to tech their children the simplest bit of respect.

    BETTER THAN YES MASSA...NO MASSA!

    Cedric Denson
     

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