Black Poetry : Wrong

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by notbeautiful, Aug 24, 2005.

  1. notbeautiful

    notbeautiful Active Member MEMBER

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    She love he
    Him treat her as if their inseparable
    Her feel sexy when him come to mind
    And they're strongest bond be the sex
    But-
    Will he ever love she for who her are inside?

    -Roni Tubens
     
  2. iwannabe

    iwannabe Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I didnt paticularly like this one, no offense. it WAS different, original, but a little strange to me, and not easy to read. Thats just MY opinion :zipit:
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    beyond sex him not know
    of she whom is beautiful
    outside the range to be loved

    i feel ya here and relate well
    forth he of she will learn to
    accept she as whom one be .
     
  4. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That was different notsobeautiful. I'm guessing the wording was meant like some island talk (maybe), but different is always good. Keep writing
     
  5. notbeautiful

    notbeautiful Active Member MEMBER

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    LOL. No :) no island talk. I just wrote it that way because the jist of it was "wrong". The grammer, nouns, and all that jazz was wrong- to symbolize how wrong the relationship between the man and the woman was. :band:
     
  6. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you can't love someone for what they are on the inside, then where is the love truly. I hear what you're saying in this piece.
     
  7. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :eek:oops: Okay, that was cute!
     
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