Black Poetry : Wr-Eye-ting Skillz Challenge (Noises)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by shaneak, Aug 8, 2001.

  1. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Topic: Noises in the Attic
    Word: Cold

    On a nice winters day...
    When it was too cold to go out and play....
    I decide to stay home...
    For this was not a day to roam....

    I cleaned my house from top to bottom...
    Threw away everything that I thought was rotten...
    but I had forgotten about the old attic....
    The noises i heard through the radio static....

    See this house was haunted years ago...
    Long before i came though...
    I feared the creeky steps that reached to its top...
    I'd step on the first step and right their I'd stop...
    For the air up their was stail
    and i couldn't even exhale..
    And to open my mouth as i saw the cold air spill from my lips...
    just the thought of what might have occured would me you sick....

    But today...I'm bored as hell...
    And i intend to clean, yet my fear begans to swell....
    cause i'm going to take step closer...
    and then I turned the nob...
    and oh my God!!!

    What a stinch I smelled...
    what i mess i saw...
    What a job I gotta do....
    Up in the attic....
     
  2. mojo

    mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yeah!

    likin your style of storytellin sis!

    thank ya!


    mojo
     
  3. N2urSoul

    N2urSoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Gurl, you worked it like a runaway slave.... :D :lol:

    I'm definitely in tune wit this Neak.... lovin' your play on the topic & word...

    Let them skillz roam!


    One :heart:
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    FOOT STEPZ IN DA DARK
    I KNOWTHIS ONE WELL
    :)
     
  5. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There is so much love here....

    Cindy: Thanks sis...at first I didn't think i could do it...then i had to remember that i do this on a day to day basis with my own personal thoughts.... :x: Yours were good too i must say...

    Mojo: Thanks...I was a bit surprised at how it turned out.... I thought i was going to sound like a bunch of crap.... so i feel a lot better now.... :D

    N2: See now...you put it down when you thought of the idea... so you know me...I had to test the skillz out...i was a littel curious as of to how good i am... :x: I'm glad you liked it though.... I wasn't trying to work it like a runaway slave...but i would've beaten the ghost in the attic if I had found one like a runaway slave :lol: If i could that is... :lol: You are a trip....I'm going to look for yours now though... Thanks for the comps!!!! :)

    Rich: One who always show me love... :D thanks for the read... I'm glad you liked it....

    Oh and by the way...just so you guys know .... this poem/story is fiction.. :D I don't know what i would do living in a haunted house.. :lol: Probably move.... :x:
     
  6. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Sis!!! :D
     
  7. GYPSYMAN

    GYPSYMAN Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sha'

    This has got me anticipating a Novel or at least a short story...4 real Sha' this piece shows me awesome things.

    g-man
     
  8. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks

    for the visual...but i'm not sure i want to venture. I use to write short stories back in my junior high years...but realized i'm not up for john said...and then susan said.. kind of thing... :x: too tedious. but I'll rhyme a short short story... :D Thanks for compliments though...and see what i refuse to see. sometimes two pair of eyes is always better than one... ;) Thanks so much for all the love though!!! But you got it going on...puttin all those pieces down that is. In short story poetry style and however which ever way you decide to put down... I'm always reading it. :D
     
  9. wildflower7

    wildflower7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yes, this was a cool @$$ poem!
    -7:spinstar:
     
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