Black Relationships : Would You Share Your Man?

Joyce

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Dear Sistahs,

I would like your straight forward honesty on this subject matter. I have been in a discussion with a brotha about an idea he has that he believes will help perserve the black community...

He said: Perhaps we as a people need to re-examine our criteria of what a black male shortage means. Is man sharing such a horrible Idea to even consider, with in the context of mutually agreed party(s)?

Now I won't reveal his name for concern that he may not want to discuss it with the rest of you. If he wants you to know who he is, I'm sure he will come forward.

So I would like to know if you would be willing to share your black man with other man-less sistahs? That way, one black man can father many children and thus perserve the community. Moreover, the sister can be happy that at least she has a black man for a husband and is not alone anymore.

Joyce, Are You Serious???

Yes...I am serious because I believe that the man who presented this idea is serious. At first, I thought he was just joking but we've been in a long drawn out discussion on it...thus I believe he is dead serious. He seems to think polygamy can work in America. Maybe it can. You never know what women are willing to do until you ask. So tell me...What do you think?

Would you be willing to be a black man's concubine or one of his many wives to perserve the strength of the black community?


Thanks for responding and please encourage the other sisters of this board to participate:geek: in this discussion. Thank you

Joyce
 

Nita

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Absolutely

!!!!!!!!NOT!!!!!!!!!

I was in the beautyshop last week and I was listening to some women talking about relationships. To my surprise there were a few women who did not mind being in relationships with married men...smh....or sharing a man with another woman...smh still. Some women have such low self worth that they don't care what man they get as long as they get A man. This is sad because I see women sleeping with married men...and there are men who sleep with married women as well...Lord help us....
I personally would never want to share my man. I'm married and about 7 months ago I found out my husband was with another woman. We had been separated for a few months when he started cheating. All together we have been separated for over 3 years. Not once did I ever cheat on him because I knew if I did, I would have to face God with my actions. I never want to hurt God, so I kept true to my marriage, still am true today even though we are still not together. The hurt I felt and still feel I can never descibe. My little world was crushed when I found out there was a woman who slept with my husband. She never considered my feelings, my childrens feelings or God's feelings, marriage is a bond created by God that he and she violated.... Sad thing is she has children of her own and lived with my husband in front of her children..smh...Just lQQk @ the message she's sending to her sons and daughters. We as parents have to be responsible. We need to be examples our children will respect and be proud of.

Our values, morals, and self esteem has gotten so low that no one cares about how relationships were meant to be.....1 Man and 1 Woman.
 

Joyce

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Nita said:
!!!!!!!!NOT!!!!!!!!!

I was in the beautyshop last week and I was listening to some women talking about relationships. To my surprise there were a few women who did not mind being in relationships with married men...smh....or sharing a man with another woman...smh still. Some women have such low self worth that they don't care what man they get as long as they get A man. This is sad because I see women sleeping with married men...and there are men who sleep with married women as well...Lord help us....
I personally would never want to share my man. I'm married and about 7 months ago I found out my husband was with another woman. We had been separated for a few months when he started cheating. All together we have been separated for over 3 years. Not once did I ever cheat on him because I knew if I did, I would have to face God with my actions. I never want to hurt God, so I kept true to my marriage, still am true today even though we are still not together. The hurt I felt and still feel I can never descibe. My little world was crushed when I found out there was a woman who slept with my husband. She never considered my feelings, my childrens feelings or God's feelings, marriage is a bond created by God that he and she violated.... Sad thing is she has children of her own and lived with my husband in front of her children..smh...Just lQQk @ the message she's sending to her sons and daughters. We as parents have to be responsible. We need to be examples our children will respect and be proud of.

Our values, morals, and self esteem has gotten so low that no one cares about how relationships were meant to be.....1 Man and 1 Woman.

I agree completely with what you've said. I would like to know...if you were single and desiring a husband, would you consider being the wife of a man who already has several wives. Would polygamy be an option for you? Why or why not?
 

Nita

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Hey Joyce

Joyce said:

I agree completely with what you've said. I would like to know...if you were single and desiring a husband, would you consider being the wife of a man who already has several wives. Would polygamy be an option for you? Why or why not?
I would not. God gave Adam Eve as a mate. One woman!! He saw that one woman was enough to fill the desires and needs of Adam. Somewhere in the Bible I remember reading where husband and wife are refered to as hands...if man is right, woman is the left. Most of us only have 2 hands, I believe that's all a marriage should consist of...two people...a man and woman. So polygamy would NEVER be an option for me.
 

NNQueen

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I am not prepared to say what I absolutely wouldn't do in this type of situation. Brother Kannte directed us to a very interesting and deep thread that was started a while ago and based on the discussion that took place in this thread, much of which I contributed to, my thinking about polygamy has definitely changed.

My approach to polygamous relationships is not religious-based, but socially benefitting. I also don't think that having a man translates into "owning" him. If someone thinks of a mate as "my man" or "my woman", then I would hope that the basis for the relationship had already been set and agreed to as monogamous before the couple got serious. The same would hold true for any other form of relationship.


Polygamy has nothing to do with infidelity or cheating. It is more than a sexual relationship, and personally, I see a lot of value in such a relationship that extends beyond an individualistic mindset. If you're the jealous female type and can't bear the thought of "sharing your man', then this is not the relationship for you.

I think the brother who commented on the benefits of polygamy in the African American family structure makes a valid point. But it's a concept that will require some tough barriers to break through due to the way we are socialized in western culture.

More and more, we are gravitating toward "my" this and "my" that....and along with that way of thinking and behaving, unity among our people may never be fully achieved in the way that most Black people talk about.

Queenie :spinstar:
 

Joyce

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Nita said:
I would not. God gave Adam Eve as a mate. One woman!! He saw that one woman was enough to fill the desires and needs of Adam. Somewhere in the Bible I remember reading where husband and wife are refered to as hands...if man is right, woman is the left. Most of us only have 2 hands, I believe that's all a marriage should consist of...two people...a man and woman. So polygamy would NEVER be an option for me.


I hear you Sis...thanks for responding.
 

Joyce

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NNQueen said:
I am not prepared to say what I absolutely wouldn't do in this type of situation. Brother Kannte directed us to a very interesting and deep thread that was started a while ago and based on the discussion that took place in this thread, much of which I contributed to, my thinking about polygamy has definitely changed.

My approach to polygamous relationships is not religious-based, but socially benefitting. I also don't think that having a man translates into "owning" him. If someone thinks of a mate as "my man" or "my woman", then I would hope that the basis for the relationship had already been set and agreed to as monogamous before the couple got serious. The same would hold true for any other form of relationship.


Polygamy has nothing to do with infidelity or cheating. It is more than a sexual relationship, and personally, I see a lot of value in such a relationship that extends beyond an individualistic mindset. If you're the jealous female type and can't bear the thought of "sharing your man', then this is not the relationship for you.

I think the brother who commented on the benefits of polygamy in the African American family structure makes a valid point. But it's a concept that will require some tough barriers to break through due to the way we are socialized in western culture.

More and more, we are gravitating toward "my" this and "my" that....and along with that way of thinking and behaving, unity among our people may never be fully achieved in the way that most Black people talk about.

Queenie :spinstar:

Queen, you are a rare sistah indeed...thanks for responding.
 

Destee

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i'd share my man ... after i cut him up in several pieces ... :wink:

:heart:

Destee
 

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