Black Relationships : Would you personally continue dealing with a person who....

[Destee]

intentionally ignores your calls and messages all because you did not get their messages due to you being sleep and by the time you wake up, they have already said they have left for the day, so you go and do what you gotta do for the day also. When you tell them they were being childish by intentionally ignoring your calls, they say that they were only reacting.. well i just had that happen to me not long ago. he ignored my calls on purpose all because i was sleep half the day yesterday and by the time I woke up, he was already in church and my friends were getting ready to pick me up and we were out all day basically. no phone, no anything because my phone was dead. he said he tried to hit me up on the computer and i have explained to him numerous times I am not always at the computer, and that i do have a life outside the house. all he said was "it is what it is" and he comes off like he was right for how what he calls "reacted"... I am just curious to know if you have ever been in a situation like this, and if so, is this a considered as a red flag to just no longer correspond with them?

I agree with Sister Mimi ... it really does boil down to your tolerance level.

If you can deal with this kind of behavior, then all flags are go, but if you can't ...

Everyone can't take the same stuff. What's a walk in the park for one, is a nightmare for another.

Good Luck ... on whatever you decide.

Love You!



Destee

 

[Chevron Dove]

intentionally ignores your calls and messages all because you did not get their messages due to you being sleep and by the time you wake up, they have already said they have left for the day, so you go and do what you gotta do for the day also. When you tell them they were being childish by intentionally ignoring your calls, they say that they were only reacting.. well i just had that happen to me not long ago. he ignored my calls on purpose all because i was sleep half the day yesterday and by the time I woke up, he was already in church and my friends were getting ready to pick me up and we were out all day basically. no phone, no anything because my phone was dead. he said he tried to hit me up on the computer and i have explained to him numerous times I am not always at the computer, and that i do have a life outside the house. all he said was "it is what it is" and he comes off like he was right for how what he calls "reacted"... I am just curious to know if you have ever been in a situation like this, and if so, is this a considered as a red flag to just no longer correspond with them?

No, I would not give up on him this soon. I would still give it some time. I agree with Bro Jamesfrmphilly that it is childish and he is just too grown for this but still, it shouldn't disqualify him altogether this soon. My first reaction after thinking that it's childish is that I think he's playing some kind of control 'I don't want to say game but, issue. I think maybe he might have been hurt in a previous relationship and he is testing you. But another issue that is really on my mind is that he may have some false preconception about a man's role versus a woman's role in a relationship and he has been made to think that he should have this kind of 'male dominance' control over you to the point where when he request for your time, you should respond promptly, even if it is to tell him, 'you can't speak right now because you are sleeping'... I don't think you should push him away if he decides to still pursue you, but just don't feed into it all. Don't give it any fire, just ignore it and still give him an opportunity to relate to you. If he is insecure, after awhile, he will open up and tell you this and then you can be firm and tell him how you feel.

I don't think you should shut the door on him right now. i mean, yes, he sounds alittle dominant and controlling right now but, at least he doesn't sound like a punk. I couldn't handle a man that's too dominant, but I can't handle a punk neither.

 

[Mercyless1803]

Just seem like a lack of communication to me. can be an easy fix

 

[Omowale Jabali]

intentionally ignores your calls and messages all because you did not get their messages due to you being sleep and by the time you wake up, they have already said they have left for the day, so you go and do what you gotta do for the day also. When you tell them they were being childish by intentionally ignoring your calls, they say that they were only reacting.. well i just had that happen to me not long ago. he ignored my calls on purpose all because i was sleep half the day yesterday and by the time I woke up, he was already in church and my friends were getting ready to pick me up and we were out all day basically. no phone, no anything because my phone was dead. he said he tried to hit me up on the computer and i have explained to him numerous times I am not always at the computer, and that i do have a life outside the house. all he said was "it is what it is" and he comes off like he was right for how what he calls "reacted"... I am just curious to know if you have ever been in a situation like this, and if so, is this a considered as a red flag to just no longer correspond with them?

As he told you,

It is what it is.

Therefore, don't try to make more out of it than that. He also told you that he was reacting. Recognize the brother has faults and keep things in the right perspective.

 

[spicybrown]

He seems insecure and controlling... with too much time on his hands. Him ignoring you is hisway of telling you to get in line (his line) or else, no convo for you. Nip it in the bud or just move on.