Black Relationships : Would you leave your child for a (man/ woman)?

krazelyricks

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jul 2, 2003
1,424
12
da south............ATL
Occupation
student
I have a very close friend who resents her mother for leaving her to be with a man she has only known for three months. She talks to herself constantly and on some nights she even knowingly cuts herself. She is in constantly dismay and I can't say I blame her. She loves her mother with all her heart and she thought her mother loved with the same love. However, how can one say that her mother love's her too when she left her for a man? My friend says she is not even sure that she loves this man either. She thinks she is only with him to get money. He's a doctor. He won't let her stay with them. She won't even let her mother talk to her. Isn't this wrong? How can a man be so devious? Anyway, the girl now stays with her grandmother who is on her dying bed. Her mother does not even know she's dying because she even lost ties to her too. She fears that she will have no where else to go if her grandmother dies. She will be forced to go to foster care. She's younger than me. I'm like her mentor. I would help her but I'm not 18 yet. I can't. She hates her mother because she left her. Do you think she is right to (resent/hate) her mother? Do you think that the mother was right to put her with her grandmother and break all ties? Would you have done it? I want to know what you think on this topic because this is very sincere to my heart. Also do you know of any ways I could help her find a family before sending her to foster care with the state because I really do want to help her.
 
i was abandoned by my mother and left with my grandmother.
she died when i was 17 and i hit the streets.
i was a male and times were different then, i would not advise it for a girl today.

my advice is to FORGET the mother.
let it go.
the more she thinks about the mother, the more pain she will have.
that's the way it was with me.
the mother is sick and she is actually better to be rid of her.

i think the girl should put ALL her energy into survival.
don't worry about the mother, spend her time coming up with a plan to make it.
are there other family members?
are there other responsible adults around?

as a last resort, go to the legal system.
this man can not legally deny the child support.
get an legal aide attorney and sue his *** for support.

go to the church and ask for help.
find someone who will fight for you.
 
Actually, there are NO other responsible adults. Her grandmother is the last relative she has. She has no one else. I feel really bad for her. This is the kind of stuff most people only hear about in movies. I neva thought I would meet someone like that for real. I didn't grow up in the best of living conditions but I did have a stable family. My mama took me after my grandmother died. It was hard for her but she still took me in. My friend doesn't even have that. I wish I could help her but I don't know what to do.
 
This is really unfortunate. You didn't indicate how old the young lady is, however, I agree with James. She must forget the mother. The mother has chosen her priorities, the wrong one, but she did choose it. She is out for self. Every woman is not fit to be a mother. Some are just equipt to give birth. Its admirable that she has you to talk to and support her. I wish you the best of luck with this. Please keep us posted.
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top