Black Relationships : Would you have an affair with a married man or woman?

Nita

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Feb 9, 2001
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Wonderful

Sister foxi,

I must confess I didn't exspect things to turn in this direction, but I'm glad that it did. I hope you do pray and seek God's purpose for you in this lifetime. Remember to honor and obey your mmmy, keep doing well in school, take your time and enjoy life and you'll be fine.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
:wave:
 

panafrica

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Aug 24, 2002
10,227
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The Diaspora
Foxi said:
I'm sorry about that. That was partly my fault for getting off the issue. One last comment though, I just want to think all the people who responded to what I said and it was greatly appreciated. It really made me rethink myself. I talked it over with my mother yesterday after that last post and we had a long discussion on this issue and the comments that were given and said. She agreed with you all. I am using men for the wrong things. Not that she's saying to use them for sex or anything but, you get the point. I prayed over it and I have come to a decision. I decided to fast. That is what I'm fasting. I decided to fast with something that I love to do, using men for money. I'm fasting for 2 months. After I'm done, I will see this that goes.That mean no dates or nothin'. I'm just going to stay at home and proceed with my summer activities. I'll see where this gets me. Like I said, yo thanks for the pep talk and all of your comments helped me in my decision.
This is beautiful Foxi....it takes a lot of maturity to do self-examination. You deserve much credit for this. I wish you nothing but the best, little sister!
 

sistahisis

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Sep 28, 2003
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Inglewood, California
foxi!!

i just have to let you know that you have impressed me. you are more mature than i was at 17. i'm happy to hear that you have the type of relationship with your mother where you can go to her to talk about these issues. good luck on your "fast." i'll pray for you! peace!
 

Joyce

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May 23, 2001
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people
Foxi said:
I'm sorry about that. That was partly my fault for getting off the issue. One last comment though, I just want to think all the people who responded to what I said and it was greatly appreciated. It really made me rethink myself. I talked it over with my mother yesterday after that last post and we had a long discussion on this issue and the comments that were given and said. She agreed with you all. I am using men for the wrong things. Not that she's saying to use them for sex or anything but, you get the point. I prayed over it and I have come to a decision. I decided to fast. That is what I'm fasting. I decided to fast with something that I love to do, using men for money. I'm fasting for 2 months. After I'm done, I will see this that goes.That mean no dates or nothin'. I'm just going to stay at home and proceed with my summer activities. I'll see where this gets me. Like I said, yo thanks for the pep talk and all of your comments helped me in my decision. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: (Hugz and kisses to all of ya'll)

Foxi,

I was so touched by your response up above. I admire your maturity, for there are some who choose to remain in their ignorant evil way and be proud about their foolishness at that...I'm talkin' bout grown folks. But you have decided to add wisdom and understanding to your table. I promise you that you will never regret doing so. Your mom should be very proud to have a daughter like you. We have all fallen short of God's expectations, we just have to let Him help us get back on our feet. You have begun this path and should you ever need a friend...Destee's family will always be here for you.

Love Ya Gurl!

~j
 

Nita

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Feb 9, 2001
3,096
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Arkansas
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youth volunteer
:)

~Amen~

You never know why, how, when or where God will bless a situation. Sometimes things have to be out of our definitions of order so that HE can work things out according to HIS order and purpose for our lives.
This is beautiful. :grouphug:
 

vj57

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Dec 25, 2003
131
6
I made no excuse for getting involved with this married man. There's no right reasoning behind this.

But I'm thankful it ended. I had a funny feeling that we would be "caught" by her and the outcome could be deadly.

You hear of spouses executing their spouse and/or spouse's lover. And if it is publicly known (like this woman following her husband to my place and shoots him as he leaves my place), look at the pain my children and relatives would suffer. I can just see other people calling me a "cheap ****", "homewrecker" etc. And how could I hold my head up at work?

What if the angry woman shot me to death?

Now if my former lover has moved on to another chick on the side, he has to suffer any ramifications, and thankfully, I'm not in it. This man was not worth me going to hell.

My involvement with this married men stemmed from thinking that no man could be faithful. I dated guys who swore they didn't have a girlfriend, only to find out different. So I figured if a man told the truth from the beginning, like my former lover, well at least he's being honest. It was up to me to either accept or reject him.

And this was just a game at first. Many people knew that we were having an affair. There was the eye contact, the touching, etc. But he was kind to me, always having something nice to say, and the sex was off the planet!

I have to admit that I still have feelings for him. When you've been involved with someone for over five years, it's hard to forget. I run into him every now and then and we speak, but I know that we had to move on.

Just read in the news about a man killing his ex-wife and her lover while they were having sex. That could had been me and my former lover being murdered by his wife.

Nothing GOOD comes from having affairs with married people. And even if you do break them up and you become his wife, you can believe that the cheating will continue. If he cheated on wife #1, he will do the same to you, wife #2.
 

realgurlchelle

Member
MEMBER
Jun 2, 2004
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Unfortunately, you had to encounter this situation although it seems as though you felt that you and your husband could still reconcile. However, to consider a separation with a man for a length of three years without sleeping with him would leave no doubt in my mind that he would not remain faithful in the separation. He probably felt that his marriage was over and that he could began to move on, even though the divorce wasn't finalized. As females, it can sometimes be easier for us to hold on to something that is right, and to resist temptation. Although I know that this guy doesn't represent all males in his situation, he acted as expected, but not as he should have. Hopefully you've realized that you made a right decision about the termination of your bind to this man. God has someone better in store for you. Just hold on and your reward will be far much greater than anything you've ever received.


Nita said:
My husband wasn't supporting our family, our home, or our everyday needs. About 2 years into the separation he had an affair. I just found out about it in September of last year. When I found this out it broke my heart so because I never thought he would ever do this to me. What hurt even more was, a woman slept with him knowing all along he was married....smh
QUOTE]
 

Nita

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Feb 9, 2001
3,096
15
Arkansas
Occupation
youth volunteer
so true sister.

I know God has something better waiting just for me.

Thank you so much
Nita
:heart:
realgurlchelle said:
Unfortunately, you had to encounter this situation although it seems as though you felt that you and your husband could still reconcile. However, to consider a separation with a man for a length of three years without sleeping with him would leave no doubt in my mind that he would not remain faithful in the separation. He probably felt that his marriage was over and that he could began to move on, even though the divorce wasn't finalized. As females, it can sometimes be easier for us to hold on to something that is right, and to resist temptation. Although I know that this guy doesn't represent all males in his situation, he acted as expected, but not as he should have. Hopefully you've realized that you made a right decision about the termination of your bind to this man. God has someone better in store for you. Just hold on and your reward will be far much greater than anything you've ever received.


Nita said:
My husband wasn't supporting our family, our home, or our everyday needs. About 2 years into the separation he had an affair. I just found out about it in September of last year. When I found this out it broke my heart so because I never thought he would ever do this to me. What hurt even more was, a woman slept with him knowing all along he was married....smh
QUOTE]
 

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