Black Women : Would you date a man who has several kids?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by nevar, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Okay let's set this up you date a guy, and he seems like he is the man of your dreams. He call you, take you out, just keep you on cloud nine. Now you and him been going out pretty steady. You told him about your kids, and asked him did he have any. And of course he said yes. After saying yes, you didn't think to ask how many since he know how many you have. Okay second month into the relationship you talking with some friends or associates. And they say out the blue, "You know so and so got 10 baby mama's!" (record scratching) You try to pretend like you didn't hear that brady bunch number and laugh it off. Do you immediately call the guy, give him a piece of your mind or do you just let him go? :whip::10500::car:
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hey Sister Nevar ... :wave:

    Oh gosh Sister ... 10 Baby Momma's ... :eeek:

    Oh gosh ... if the children were adults now, i could probably handle that.

    Back when my babies were babies, i'd naturally have to be a bit more open to accepting what i was dishing out ... but now ... gosh ... i'm not in the "raising babies stage" of life ... and don't think i could do it. I just don't have the patience required for babies, and they need that.

    It wouldn't be anything personal against him and his circumstance, just that i know i aint able to go there, and be at peace.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

    NO I wouldn't! And let me tell you why.....

    (1) A man with a lot of kids probably doesn't want more. And I want some.
    (2) A man with lots of kids will be taking care of these kids and that money will not be available to be used on me. And if he ain't taking tcare of his children I don't want him
    (3) I don't date men with kids because I don't do "baby Mama Drama" and I have never seen it not exist in some form and folks don't take in consideration what it does to the kids.
    (4) I will not date a man with kids because i don't generally like other people's children and children for some reason like to lay up on me. Can't be doing that.
    (5) How many kids and how many baby mamas?

    ***Most Importantly***
    If you get serious with a man with kids and marry him, your income can be considered for the child support. And I ain't paying for a kid I didn't have the pleasure in making. Sorry the village stops right there!



    Peace
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    IMO - any man with ten kids should have neither the time nor the inclination to be out mackin....
     
  5. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Destee thank you for your thoughts I haven't had this to happen just yet to me. I wouldn't date a man who has more kids then me. I mean are we hypocritical when we don't give him a fair chance. because it is hard to find a man who will want a ready made family. this day in time this is what a man is now accepting a ready made family. so I totally feel what you saying!


    Bootzey thanks for your thoughts as well. some of the points you made I understand. but would you give a guy a chance if he had the same number of kids you have.
     
  6. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    well Mr. James ol' dude just a rolling stone....his mission is aim to please, aim to please!
     
  7. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't have any kids. So I can be a choicey as I want.
     
  8. Josef

    Josef Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why even consider giving his a piece of your mind?

    I can only assume you mean telling him off, right?..

    But, what would you say to him in the first place? He obviously knew what he was doing, meaning you now have an understanding what was on HIS mind..

    long post short,

    be safe, but get your "Bone", and disown..(no offense)
     
  9. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    All Black women don't have children.

    And women who don't have children or don't want children may not want to deal with somebody else's child.

    Women who don't have children but DO want children will probably have the same reservations Sister Bootzey outlined.

    Women who do have children, of course, would need to be accepting of her boyfriend having children.

    It's a two-way street...If it's a "package deal" for YOU, then it's a "package deal" for HIM.

    This situation also applies to what age range a woman is....For women like Destee and myself, we are old enough that MOST of the men we would date who have children are also old enough that their children are already GROWN or, at least, teenagers.....not BABIES to hold or running after toddlers like 2/3 year olds gettin' into err-thang.

    Personally, I don't mind a man having some children as long as he's taking care of them. I can't respect a man who doesn't take care of his Seed.

    But, TEN "baby-mamas" is not acceptable. That tells me that he is a ****. He has no respect for himself nor the women he laid down with....all that UN-PROTECTED sex and YOU wanna git wit' ME?!

    No Brotha! You can't even shake my hand!.....Keep STEPPIN'!
     
  10. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I totally understand bootzey your views and also cherry blossom I agree with your points as well.
     
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