Black Relationships : Would You Allow Significant Other to Your Passwords?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by MsInterpret, Apr 9, 2013.

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Would you allow your significant other access to your passwords for accounts?

  1. Yes

    1 vote(s)
    20.0%
  2. No

    3 vote(s)
    60.0%
  3. Not Sure

    1 vote(s)
    20.0%
  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    [​IMG]

    Would you allow your significant-other access to your passwords for accounts such as: Facebook, Emails, Cell Phones, etc.?
     
  2. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, because they have the password to my heart! :em2400:

    I don't have a thing to hide nor feel secretive about with the one I love so much.

    Why do people do that anyway? :11200:
     
  3. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol...no...I won't even let someone have a key to my place and that's only if we are dating...and even if we're married, you still can't have it...what purpose would there be to have it? You want access to a FB, email, text, get your own fb, email account and your own cell phone..

    If my significant other thinks I'm hiding something based on me not allowing them to have access to my accounts, then we'll just have trust issues.
     
  4. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's nothing wrong to show trust; people shouldn't be so suspicious of each other when deciding to be together; if there isn't trust from the start, how can a relationship be expected to last? So even if one isn't sharing all their passwords, if the other really suspects something, that should be addressed so it doesn't become a huge problem.

    I, myself, would be just fine to sharing all this because I want to share all things with my kind love. None of that stuff is a big deal at all to me with the one I hold closest.
     
  5. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Mmm kay...to each his own...
     
  6. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol....okay, I wasn't going to entertain your last statement, but I will...and I must hurry cause I have to go to work...
    Most people do not give out passwords freely. Someone usually has to ask for a password. When someone asks for a password it means they don't trust you...and thus, should be a red flag for more things to come.
    Because as cute and as loving as it sounds to, give someone your password because you love them and they already have the password to your heart, doesn't solve trust issues...It won't...
    Because you'll be daymned if you do, and daymned if you don't.
    You cannot change a person's trust issues...They have to resolve those issues within themselves...They came into a relationship already not trusting you. And insecure people are hard to please...Once you give them one thing they are never satisfied with what's been given and will always need more proof.
    While you may be willing to give up your passwords over time, you will get tired of having to prove yourself to the person whom you gave your hear too, but doesn't trust you.
    TRUST doesn't need a password.
    TRUST doesn't need proof.
    I'm 30 years old, not too much older than you, but I've experienced enough with trust to know that I'm not a fool.
    I don't have time to prove my trustworthiness to anyone. You either trust me or you don't. It's black and white.
    Love it or leave it...or I will leave you.
    My parents have been married for 30 something years and my mom and dad don't have the password to each other's devices...You know why? Because they trust each other.
    You shouldn't have to be in a relationship to where you have to show proof, especially if you never gave that person a reason to not trust you.
    That is all.
     
  7. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    One more thing to add...
    If they gotta ask you for your password..that's a manipulative move.
    And I'm telling you from Sister to Sister...and Woman to Woman.
     
  8. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why weren't you going to entertain it, though?

    I can understand what you're saying; many go about it in different ways. If it's meant to be that way for them, I wouldn't say they have to do it my way just because it makes me feel rightly.


    I wouldn't get in a relationship with someone I didn't trust or who didn't trust me to start; also, I'm speaking from a married perspective, not dating, so it's known.

    Marriage is far deeper where I believe anything can be shared, because you're made one. Dating is more like hanging out with the person, to me. lol I don't just share everything with people I hang with.

    I wouldn't share anything to solve any issues, though; I'd share because it's my life I share with them. And I certainly wouldn't do it because it sounds cute, lol

    To many, it just sounds foolish or even as though I'm being a pushover to give up my privacy. But for the one I'm with, I just can't see having anything hidden that I know but they do not. To me, it's as though it's a freedom, whereas I could say anything to them and there be no surprise, no shock, no horror, and never in my mind am I thinking, "I need to make sure to keep that secret." It like really being one; no walls built up between, but together, and what's mine is his.

    I believe real trust is as it's supposed to be with each couple, though it may not look the same. What your parents are doing is trust, I believe, because they feel no need to wonder on end, what is it that the other sees, reads, shares, or knows that they may not be privy to. They let it be, and are happy with that.

    But I believe also laying everything out there is trust also, because no one shares every detail of their being to have it used against them.

    To share passwords is giving everything locked down in your email, FB, phone, etc, for the taking, but if there be trust, I won't worry that everything's going to be taken away or used against me, nor shared with whom I didn't want to share.

    Of course both sides can say the other side doesn't show real trust, like, "you don't trust that they won't share everything", or "you don't trust that they don't have something sinister to hide". However, if it works for the couple, it doesn't matter what another couple is doing; they have their trust intact and that be what matters.:)

    I hear ya; I have boundaries and don't just take everything given to me just because. A guy asking you straight out like he's owed it does show a certain lack in trust, and I'd rather talk it out to squash that feeling because when it grows, what gloom it brings for both people!

    But anyway, nice talk.:D
     
  9. Gorilla

    Gorilla Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nope and I'm weary of women who start to level accusations out of no where. I'd probably be gone shortly after that conversation.
     
  10. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Depends on the account.

    Phones? Yes. I have nothing to hide. Financial accounts? Only if it's something we both are responsible for or need to have access to. Something like email or Facebook? No. That's way to personal and you have to have some things to yourself
     
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