Black Relationships : Would Any Kind of Poly Relationship Word in the United States?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Elsewhere I have said that I would accept a polygamous marriage. I have to qualify that acceptance. I would accept it in an otherwise non-patriarchal based society. Here in the US I don't thin it would work.

    Though really, I can't imagine polygamy or any kind of marriage for that matter in a non-patriarchal society. The idea of men providing for and protecting women is itself patriarchal. All decent men should take a stand against a rapist, not just her husband.
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :fyi: there are plenty of them working right now
     
  3. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Within a marriage or outside of one?

    Yes, only a first spouse would be recognize as a legal spouse, but you can have ceremony and actually 'marry' more than one. I would consider those you had ceremony and a license for to be your spouses.

    So again, is this inside of ceremony & license or outside of it?

    Seems like a lot of things works outside of ceremony and license better than it works inside of it.
     
  4. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The idea of men providing for and protecting women is itself patriarchal

    Have you ever thought that that instinct is simply part of heterosexual male feelings, and emotions that we even exhibit as children?
     
  5. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No child is born with an 'instict' to protect their family. You only believed that because that's what you been taught and learned under your religion.

    Children are not born with a need to 'protect' their family but with something called empathy in that they don't want to see their family hurt or in physical pain.

    Being a 'protector' is not an instinct, it is a learned societal response.
     
  6. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I disagree, this i why i take the stance against feminism of any form mending with African culture.

    A Matriarchy society and or culture doesn't automatically translate to women taking on the role of protector or provider ,it means women particularly older women are respected and revered. It is a 'Mother Right' society where everyone has their roles. Royal lineage can ONLY be passed through the mother, you can have women and male warriors, you can have women healers and male healers, you can have female and males in marriages where the man takes on the role of a protector and provider, you can have polygyny, you can have polyandry.


    the Matriarchal world dose not consists of the anti-male, lesbian tinged rhetoric you hear from so-called feminist e.g 'i hate all men, i can do by myself, men are dogs and blah, blah, blah... that kind of world only exists in their heads.
     
  7. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Primates are classic examples of this. The female or male gorilla will rip your head off (literally) if he/she sees you as a threat to his/her offspring.
     
  8. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    To answer your question: No, I do not think any king of polygamous relationship will work in the states.
     
  9. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    My thinking is the ceremony is a way to guarantee the married people will start their marriage flat broke and in debt.

    The license?Well you'd get in trouble if you drive without a license. But loving and having children without a license, what are the consequences?

    To have polygamy with nothing to mark the commitment might be a little different. It doesn't have to be the traditional wedding and license but there should be something to differentiate a committed polygamist from a playah.
     
  10. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, your title question is Would Any Kind of Poly Relationship Word in the United States?

    I think these type of relationships works best with a ceremony and a vow of commitment over the ones that don't have this; and that why I asking you to clarify.


    If I we're going to be a serious poly relationship, I would want ceremony to mark the occasion and an oath of vows to show our commitment to each other. That is regardless of type of poly relationship, but in this instance since I am more interested in polyamory over both polyandry and polygamy - it would be a group of men and women marking the occasion with ceremony and an oath.

    If there was no ceremony and vows to sustain the commitment in my mind, then I'm more free to date people in and outside the relationship or not take it as seriously. I'd just think I had a buncha 'friends with benefits' type of situation instead of a full-fledge poly relationship. This is why people claim they want the ceremony and commitment to monogamy - to set their mind to thinking that they are now going to be with that one person for a very long time. Otherwise, their mind would still be in 'single mode' and there is of a penchant to 'cheat' if your mind is single mode.

    So I'm assuming you are talking about poly relationships where all parties involve make a ceremonial commitment to each other?
    Legal or not, doesn't matter.
     
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