Black People : workplace privacy question

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Aisha, Aug 11, 2005.

  1. Aisha

    Aisha Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am having an issue at work. When I have a one on one with my manager she discusses the event with my co-workers. She will discuss what was said if there was disciplinary action. The bad part is that it gets back to me very time. :gossip: She does this all the time. Does she have the right?

    Aisha :?:
     
  2. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    Whatever you do, try to be happy and tolerable! Do not let this run you out of the job! Do the best that you can when you go to the job, and don't interact with her. Is she the only person that you can speak to? I understand how you could be upset about this, but then I also understand that you reap what you sow. Because of what she is doing to you and because of what she has done to you, she will pay for it someway, somehow; you just have to continue doing what you do, because if you take matters into your hands, you will be the blame for what happens to her.

    Just to be brief with you, let me give you an example:

    One day, you will speak to her about something that involved disciplinary action, in which case that she goes and tells everyone. When she tells everyone, of the group of people that she is telling, one of those people will be someone who is against spreading privacy, and they will speak up - Hence, you do not have to do a thing!

    She will get hers.

    Does she have that right? NO, but she shall also reap what she sows.

    CD
     
  3. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i don't do "workplace" mainly because of stuff like this.

    as to "whether she has the right"; tough call. i'd think that there might should, maybe, be something in the company policies and procedures manual. otoh, there is something definitely in the "decent human interaction behavior" "manual". (irrelevant, but possibly telling: does she discuss any "good job!"s with co-workers?) sounds like some of that "white privilege" crap to me - they seem to rejoice in sharing bad thoughts about Africans any time they can. (er .. i'm assuming that she is white and that the gossipy coworkers are white as well?) btw, do any of your cow-orkers ever sound like they have said anything about this gossipy behavior to the manager?

    on the other hand, have you considered sharing this complaint over her head? have you expressed your discomfort with this behavior with her? ("decency" would suggest that you do these two in reverse order.)

    1. put out some feelers for other work environments.
    2. let her know of your discomfort.
    3. express your concerns to her manager.
    4. reduce the need for disciplinary action related discussion.
    5. point out to your cow-orkers that if she is doing this to you, who is she discussing them with?

    no, it's not a good way to manage people; perhaps she could do with a bit of retraining, or even some sensitivity training.

    whatever happens, don't let crap like this slide!! it undermines you, it undermines the work environment and it undermines the productivity of the company!! don't let it stand! and DON'T STAND FOR IT!!
     
  4. Deepvoice

    Deepvoice Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thats everywhere isn't it? I mean from elementary all the way up to high school, even in college. Gossip is just something that people do alot anyways, it still isn't as bad as when you live in a small country town where everybody is your cousin or your cousin's cousin, and there goes all of your privacy, lol. Some people act like they don't have lives of there own don't they?
     
  5. Aisha

    Aisha Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    She is my manager so she has to be the one that gives me feedback. She is also joined at the hip with her boss and if I complain to her boss there will be retaliation as there has been in the past. Although I am the only black person on my team she does this to others. I just don't think it is right for her to discuss private information to my co-workers causing embarrassment on my part.
     
  6. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    no, it ain't right! and if she's that close to the boss ... <sheesh> could get real sticky!
     
  7. sonnee01

    sonnee01 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi there,

    Wow... this just happened to one of my friends and oh boy was she hot about this kind of stuff. Now, she checked her boss by way of email and copied his boss after she thought about it for a few days... which allowed her to calm down just a tad. However, the tone still came across very harsh. At first her boss was very apologetic, because he knew he was out of order, but then the tables turned and she was made out to be the bad guy. Bottom line they will stick together no matter what, that's just what a lot of them do. So, I would say to you to make some adjustments and not give them anything to check you about. Cross your (I's) and dot your (T's) until you are ready to make your eixt. If you don't give her anything to check you about she will be forced to focus her energy on someone else. As far as your personal life....don't share anything if you can help it, cuz some will listen and at the same time pass judgement on you.

    By the way her actions are definitley immaturity and out of order. And please know whatever you tell her boss will be relayed back to her, so I would not even tell her boss a thing.
     
  8. JoWillie

    JoWillie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you are the only black in a white work environment, the best thing to do in any meeting is to keep all conversations work related and never ever think what you say is confidential.

    -Its good to make notes before you go into a meeting so you will stay on track with the discussion and know exactly what you want to say---it’s called “CYA”. Also take notes during the meeting for future reference if need be.

    -Never assume at work that your white co-workers like you so much that they have your best interest in mind.
    -Management is never on the side of subordinates.

    -Your manager uses the tactic of dividing you from your white co-workers so there won’t be any camaraderie. This isolates you, you are not taken seriously and are a target for “their” gossip.

    -Complaining to your manager’s white boss only teaches them to be more discreet and deceitful in how they deal with you. Plus you never know what managers are saying to each other.

    As far as your co-workers, I wouldn’t allow them to tell me anything about nothing, especially if they are white. They’re just as devious as your boss, count on it!!!! It’s possible that they like seeing your anger and disappointment when they tell you the “he said, she said” stuff.
     
  9. JoWillie

    JoWillie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I forgot--get some legal advise so you can know your rights if you don't have a union to complain to.
     
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