Poetry Critiques : Word Flow Opinion

candeesweet

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MEMBER
Aug 20, 2010
2,473
1,019
Like I stated once before
My Village can b traced back through the forest
One day they came and found "my" route through the dirt & clay
A Force informed me to act & not react with childs play
Our feet & instruments leave certain ways
I'm not thinking this other species will pay
They would sure nuff throw me off course
And
I have all ways been taught to patiently stay focused & porous
They will ultimently get lost & need water from our sea floor
This now involves more then 1 species in for survival to be aquired
Let this Village listen & meditate for the steps we should hold on to
Never become bewildered
We have conquered time & time again
Chief gives a session about species that soar, slither and for what reason they do this for
Soldiers be ready & know who u/ r as well know the species that all ways work their way to ur door
Winningly you will be required to knowledge & counteraction first!

Did My last sentence just not make any sense at all and throw off the whole angle of the writing!
 

$$RICH$$

Lyon King Admin.
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Mar 21, 2001
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Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
Occupation
BUSINESS owner
not at all well understood .....nice piece
it was like drifting inside a hot ova view of an story
love the flow
 

candeesweet

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Aug 20, 2010
2,473
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Much Gracious Thanks For Your Honest Opinion and Compliment of The Feelings U Recieved:)
 

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