I think it's selfish for a woman to get fat period. A man should not be in the position where he wants to leave because she never should have let herself go in the first place. So women don't need to put the blame on him, because if she cared about herself, his feelings and desires, and the feelings of her kids (who do get made fun of due to mom being fat) she wouldn't be in that position. Also, she wouldn't have to make such a hard adjustment if she would have simply acknowledged the signs before her weight got out of control. Again, fat does not sneak up on you. You have to ignore it, and then you get fat. What fat people are doing is expecting everyone else to adjust to them, instead of making an effort.
"And there are plenty of single women that are overweight and still have trouble losing it."
That's why they are still single. Like I said, most men don't want a fat woman. If they have a choice, most will walk on by or simply be your friend. This is why it's not fair to marry someone and then get fat, because if they had a choice, they probably would have never married you.
Like I said, I think it's sad that women think that since it's so hard to lose the wiehgt, it's not worth it or neccessary unless it's for herself. That's extremely selfish to let herself go and then refuse to try because it's "too hard". It's hard for people to stop doing drugs, smoking, alcohol and a host of other things, but I'm sure you don't feel the same about those issues. It's the same thing. If it's affecting your family life (and being fat does whether women want to believe it or not) you need to do something about it. Maybe that's one of the reasons marriages fail, because people refuse to do things to improve it unless it's easy. Being fat is not desirable. No man wants a fat wife if he has the choice.