Black Relationships : Women who pick up alot of weight after marriage.

kente417mojo

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Jan 22, 2004
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Riada said:
This will be my last post on this. Kente, you may not be doing it on purpose, but you don stomped all over some self-esteem here. You are causing some Sistas who are reading this to begin to doubt their desireability or feel unlovable, unwanted, unworthwhile, or moreso than some did before because you've become a spokeman, in a sense, for all the brothas or men out there who are weight-intolerant.

Self-esteem is all about: feeling like you're lovable, wanted and worthwhile. Sistas know there are other brothas out there who feel the exact same way you do, so it's not just your rejection they'll be thinking about when they're walking down the street. As they approach each Brotha, some of them will be wondering whether he thinks the exact same way you do. Many Brothas don't, but how can the Sista know that?

Yes, health is the MOST important part of all of this. That's what I said this morning. Sistas already know this too, but it's not that simple for anybody who deals with this issue.

Well Riada, my intention was not to make anybody feel bad. I certainly don't want to make anyone feel like the physical appearance is #1 priority. I just feel that people need to be more considerate when it comes to their weight..IF they have a mate to think about. That's all. I'm just saying that I would feel extremely dissappointed and turned-off if I married a 120 lb woman and she blew up to double that size. It just doesn't make sense to me and I hate when people try and use excuses as to why it happens when (IMO) it's just a lack of desire and action to do anything about it. But I'll just shut up and keep it movin', because if I'm hurting feelings, then it's really not worth talking about anymore.
 

kente417mojo

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Jan 22, 2004
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karmashines said:
So as long as they don't get fat they can continue to clog up their arteries, shoot up their cholesterol and put themselves at risk for diabetes? I say this because this is what happens when you eat bad PERIOD. Some people have the ability to process the junk better so it doesn't accumulate as fat... still doesn't mean it isn't hurting their heart, especially if they don't exercise to get the blood flowing.

That's true, but (as bad as it sounds) at least you don't have to deal with them looking all sloppy and unattractive. Like I said though, it's not all about the weight. If my lady was getting sick and her health was suffering, she'd had to stop with the junk also. If she was smoking, she'd have to stop. If she drank too much alcohol, she'd have to stop. If anything is effecting your relationship negatively, you need to stop it. People want to act like getting fat doesn't effect anything, and those people are fooling themselves.

Last post.
 

cursed heart

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Jan 12, 2006
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kente417mojo said:
That's true, but (as bad as it sounds) at least you don't have to deal with them looking all sloppy and unattractive. Like I said though, it's not all about the weight. If my lady was getting sick and her health was suffering, she'd had to stop with the junk also. If she was smoking, she'd have to stop. If she drank too much alcohol, she'd have to stop. If anything is effecting your relationship negatively, you need to stop it. People want to act like getting fat doesn't effect anything, and those people are fooling themselves.

Last post.
So you are looking for the perfect healthy woman in your opinion!
What if she lacks in other areas? Brains, a job,sensitivity,compatable sex drive,can't cook, not motherly,not church going,sense of humor
You are telling me that you will try to change a grown woman and mold her into what you want her to be?
You need a barbie doll not a woman! It's not all about what you want!
 

cursed heart

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Jan 12, 2006
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kente417mojo said:
That's true, but (as bad as it sounds) at least you don't have to deal with them looking all sloppy and unattractive. Like I said though, it's not all about the weight. If my lady was getting sick and her health was suffering, she'd had to stop with the junk also. If she was smoking, she'd have to stop. If she drank too much alcohol, she'd have to stop. If anything is effecting your relationship negatively, you need to stop it. People want to act like getting fat doesn't effect anything, and those people are fooling themselves.

Last post.
And all big women are not sloppy!:maddd:
You are a tripppppppp!
I dress better and I have much more class about my attire than most slim women!
And just because you are small does not mean you have a shape!
I see small women in apple bottom jeans looking like pancake bottoms with pot bellies!
If I get a pair of apple bottoms babyyyyyyyyyyy they wouldn't come outside that day!
 

Tantrum

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Oct 26, 2005
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cursed heart said:
And all big women are not sloppy!:maddd:
You are a tripppppppp!
I dress better and I have much more class about my attire than most slim women!
And just because you are small does not mean you have a shape!
I see small women in apple bottom jeans looking like pancake bottoms with pot bellies!
If I get a pair of apple bottoms babyyyyyyyyyyy they wouldn't come outside that day![/QUOTE

Its like this
I have nothing against big woman
Do I think they are lazy
Yes some of them arte very lazy
Some people just feel comfortable
So that just do nothing about it
If your happy with your size thats cool
I guess its all a mind game
Its all mental for real
I have seen sexy big and small
Everyone has a preference
Ladies stuck on Apple Bottoms
I think woman look way more sexy in Baby Phat
Slim and Sexy is a beautiful thing though
Yet size doesnt matter at all
As long as the other person involved is happy
 

mchinadoll

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Sep 17, 2003
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Litigation Paralegal
Tantrum:

You are right. There are people who love big and small, just like tall and short. Light skinned, dark skinned, attractive and not so attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So as long as you love yourself, you will attract someone who loves you for you.

A co-worker of mine is about 40lbs overweight, and her husband is physically fit. He's a personal trainer, and has done a triathalon (spelled wrong I am sure). After this post began I asked her how her husband feels about her weight. I always see them together, because he comes to our office to take her to lunch a lot. She said he say's he wished she would lose some and get in shape, but he doesn't nag her about it. She said he says he loves her despite of, and they have a healthy sexual relationship. She dresses very nice, and is not sloppy, they have one child. She said she was always thick, even when they met and they have been married for 14 years.

Whether or not he's happy remains unknown from my perspective but he is very attentative to her so I imagine he is happy with her.
 

Tantrum

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Oct 26, 2005
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mchinadoll said:
Tantrum:

You are right. There are people who love big and small, just like tall and short. Light skinned, dark skinned, attractive and not so attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So as long as you love yourself, you will attract someone who loves you for you.

A co-worker of mine is about 40lbs overweight, and her husband is physically fit. He's a personal trainer, and has done a triathalon (spelled wrong I am sure). After this post began I asked her how her husband feels about her weight. I always see them together, because he comes to our office to take her to lunch a lot. She said he say's he wished she would lose some and get in shape, but he doesn't nag her about it. She said he says he loves her despite of, and they have a healthy sexual relationship. She dresses very nice, and is not sloppy, they have one child. She said she was always thick, even when they met and they have been married for 14 years.

Whether or not he's happy remains unknown from my perspective but he is very attentative to her so I imagine he is happy with her.

Your right whats one cup of tea might not be the others
We have to just find it in ourselves to love the other
I have been a little tike most of my life
I had gained weight once I first got out of high school
Cause in High School we had gym-weight training classes
So its like I was always in the gym
I had gained weight got depressed a little about it
Then I decided to do something about it
Cut back on fast food start eating healthier
Do alot of cardio and lifting again now
Yet its like now I love the way I look
I think I am fine as hell thats just my opinion
To others I might be conceited
People always think I think I am better than them
Because I am light skin I just think
I am very attractive an fortunate too blessed
With the way I look-Im sure you feel the same way
Fotunate about the way that you look
 

karmashines

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Feb 26, 2005
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Tantrum said:
Your right whats one cup of tea might not be the others
We have to just find it in ourselves to love the other
I have been a little tike most of my life
I had gained weight once I first got out of high school
Cause in High School we had gym-weight training classes
So its like I was always in the gym
I had gained weight got depressed a little about it
Then I decided to do something about it
Cut back on fast food start eating healthier
Do alot of cardio and lifting again now
Yet its like now I love the way I look
I think I am fine as hell thats just my opinion
To others I might be conceited
People always think I think I am better than them
Because I am light skin I just think
I am very attractive an fortunate too blessed
With the way I look-Im sure you feel the same way
Fotunate about the way that you look

I thought weight-training makes you gain the right type of weight, muscle?
 

Tantrum

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karmashines said:
I thought weight-training makes you gain the right type of weight, muscle?

SWeety I said when I was in school
I was doing weight training
When I got out of school I stopped
Gained weight got deprssed
Got back in the gym lost it and now
Im attractive as ever
And can forfill any womans
Pleasure
 

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