Black Relationships : Women don't like jerks.

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by rapunzal24, Mar 27, 2012.

  1. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,394
    Likes Received:
    955
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,022
    My younger brother and I were talking tonight, and he said that, "Women don't like jerks, they like men with confidence." He had low self esteem and he acknowledges that now. He also said that,"Men who consider themselves nice guys can be manipulative. I was one of those guys, and I dated women who treated me with disrespect and I felt like they should treat me better because I was a nice guy. Yeah, I put up with the BS but I always expected the best because I did a lot for them to realize this, so in a way I was kind of manipulating them." That was a very honest aspect of what he felt, I had never thought of it like that. What do the men think of this? Don't be scared to comment, we are here to teach each other.
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Messages:
    32,002
    Likes Received:
    11,478
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired computer geek
    Location:
    north philly ghetto
    Ratings:
    +13,734
    men don't like "jerks" either…...
     
  3. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2004
    Messages:
    5,642
    Likes Received:
    3,328
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +3,382
    How do we define jerks?...your brother appears to be more of a victim than a jerk...so what are we talking about here?
     
  4. MsVeraisblessed

    MsVeraisblessed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2012
    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    1,146
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,148
    My sons are guilty of this too. I have to constantly tell them treat people on how they wanna be treated
     
  5. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2004
    Messages:
    5,642
    Likes Received:
    3,328
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +3,382
    What are your sons guilty of?...because right now I'm still trying to see what her son was guilty of?.
    He admitted that he was a nice guy and that he expected the best because of how he treated them. So my question is; "how was he manipulating them? based upon what was written, he expected to be treated as he was treated." How do I come out of my face and say that I treated you good and did a lot for you and then regard myself as being manipulative despite the idea that he wasn't getting the same treatment back from them? Yes, I need to understand.
     
  6. MsVeraisblessed

    MsVeraisblessed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2012
    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    1,146
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,148
    my sons have the tendacies to make women, who all tries to be nice to them, do what they want whether they (women) want to or not. Thats manipulating . They--well at least, my sons do----yell and sometimes make them ( the women) feel guilty when they are not. Thats manipulating. Like i told my sons, thier time will come when they will recieve that same treatment.
     
  7. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2004
    Messages:
    5,642
    Likes Received:
    3,328
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +3,382
    Now that's different than what her son is guilty of. He's guilty of being nice to them if you read her write up. He admits that he was good to them.
     
  8. MsVeraisblessed

    MsVeraisblessed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2012
    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    1,146
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,148
    Some sons can nicely manipulate woman while others are aggressive. My sons are aggressive like their bull head father.
     
  9. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2009
    Messages:
    19,252
    Likes Received:
    5,505
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +5,560
    I've observed in men and women who are especially "nice" and "submissive" to their significant others is often due to low self-esteem...like, "He (or she)'s just GOTTA like me/love me cuz I try so HARD to please him/her."

    Now, I'm a woman who enjoys "taking care of my man;" and I expect the same from him.

    But, in some men and women, there is an unhealthy underlying anxiety and hunger of "If I show him or her HARD enough, He (or she) won't leave cuz look what all I do for him/her." ----"See how GOOD I am to you?!"
     
  10. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2009
    Messages:
    19,252
    Likes Received:
    5,505
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +5,560
    I've had similar experiences like your brother.

    One guy was trying to BUY my affection....He would bring me stuff all the time.

    If I saw something and said it was "nice" or "pretty," the next thing I know, he's at my door with it in his hand.---I wasn't throwing hints. I was just talkin.

    We hadn't been seeing each other that long. So, I had to let him go.

    I told him what he was doing and that another woman with less conscience than I would USE him and "take him down thru there" if he continued with that behavior with women.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Women don't jerks
  1. MsInterpret
    Replies:
    23
    Views:
    7,558
  2. BallOfConfusion
    Replies:
    13
    Views:
    2,056
  3. versatilepg
    Replies:
    23
    Views:
    2,625
  4. kente417mojo
    Replies:
    34
    Views:
    3,497
  5. jamesfrmphilly
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    47