Black Women : Women do you feel the need to correct your man's flaws ........Part one

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by nevar, May 24, 2009.

  1. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Women do you feel the need to correct your man flaws.:help: Do you tend to put your energy into molding him into what you need him to be? Do you also overlook your flaws just to focus upon him? I just wanted to know the answer to that question because I am the accuser.:qqb020: He don't spend his talking about what I need to do to make it work. But I am constantly thowing up in his face about his inconsistencies, and never mine. :11900: Have you ever in your life tried to correct the one your with so they can be the man for you? If you have how were you able to break that cycle. I love the man, but I want to be Mz. fixit, and he isn't feeling my flow.:censored: Ladies and gents what's your 411:qqb010:
     
  2. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    If you feel so compelled to "fix him," perhaps he's not the man for you.

    When we love someone, we accept the "good, the bad, and the ugly" about that person. No one is "perfect." So, we know that we ALL have flaws and faults.

    Some things are just a complete "deal-breaker" for me and some things, I can live with.

    Years ago, I told an ex of mine, "There's not one set of rules for you and another set for me." (That's one of the reasons he's an EX.) LOL

    In a relationship, I will do or not do what is asked of me out of love and respect for my man; but that doesn't mean HE gets to do whatever he wants, when he wants, how he wants just because he's the man. He will respect me and my wants/wishes as well. We can talk about what we each expect and work it out between us.

    If not....well, it's been lovely but I gotta go.
     
  3. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    women do you feel...

    well all i can say is that my wife has been[fixing]me for a long time,and you know what....I'M STILL BROKE.
     
  4. snugli360

    snugli360 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    SNUGLI360

    WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A INDIVIDUAL THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR ONE ANOTHER WILL CONSTITUTE THE GOOD AND THE BAD.LIKE THE SAYING GOES WHEN YOU POINT THE FINGER YOU HAVE THREE POINTING RIGHT BACK AT YOU.
     
  5. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    amen

    Been there, seen it, done it, realized that who I want is important enough for me to wait.
    "When we convince ourselves that we can't find the right mate, we try and make the one we have into the one we want. there are two ways to do this. The first is to see who we have and tell ourselves they are someone different. The other way is to try and fix what we have. Neither idea works.... Acts of Faith, Iyanla Vanzant, Aug 10
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    you can love and fix , mold your mate but never by force but by good mental moral
    communication understanding and will to strive for the both of you !

    you can't teach something tricks when they been cross every trick but you can
    instill the morals of the trick that will open a third eye of the mate

    life is a circle a ball that goes round and round you can offer advice beyond the
    force of correction when you both are looking from a different mirror
    flaws is like pros and cons we all have them no one is perfect this where mates
    come in to help lift in the flaw area as supportive strength.
     
  7. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If I see anyone making a mistake, that I feel comfortable correcting, I will. As I hope folks would gently correct me (or not so gently depending on the circumstance). Help me CherryBlossom is there not a Biblical scripture (for y'alls Christians) that says.... "God chastises those he loves"? Though we will probably disagree who God is.

    Peace


    PS: J/k!!! Not trying to start nothing!
     
  8. hiphopolx

    hiphopolx Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Quote from a favorite song of mine

    :dj:
    That`s why I don`t mind spoilin` you
    Spendin` quality time, huh
    Cuz you hold me down, ooh yeah
    There`s so many lonely women
    That could learn from you
    You know how to keep a man
    You just let him be a man, oh

    Keep on lovin'
    Dave Hollister
    Chicago `85... The Movie
    :dj:
     
  9. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    No problem. I'm sure that was a rhetorical question coming from you 'having a degree in theology and having read the Bible from cover to cover at least 5 times.'

    So, we are in accord on the Bible verse in question. :toast:
     
  10. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Girl, no.

    I mean, I really can't correct another's flaws. They have to want to correct it themselves. And if a guy wants to be yours, he'll spend, morning, evening, and night trying to fix himself up for you. Well, some do. :D
     
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