Black Relationships : with a fat woman

[Kemetstry]

I met a woman last year who was in my city on business. She was 5'10'' and 150lbs, gorgeous body and beautiful face. She was here for a month and during that time we spent everyday with each other so we got serious. We had a conversation about many things including what was our turn offs. I told her I would not date a fat girl, ever. She told me she understood that, and that she would not date a fat man either. Well she went back to her home town but we still talked everyday on the phone.
She started to pick up weight, (lots of it) about 130 lbs due to a condition called P.C.O.S. She eventually moved to my city and I was shocked at the weight gain. She assured me that her Dr told her she could lose weight if she took birth control pills watched what she eats and excercises. Well, she's been here for 6 months and has probably gained a little weight because she neither excercises or watches her fat intake. She sometimes talks about her old relationships when she was 140lbs. She even dated the italian guy from nsync and I'm positive they had a sexual relationship. She and I have never had sex, but she often wonders when we will.
I cant help but feel that she wants me to except something the other guys in her past have never had to. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I'd like to hear from both sexes on this.

We all have preferences. There are nothing wrong with yours. Be honest with yourself and her.

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

I met a woman last year who was in my city on business. She was 5'10'' and 150lbs, gorgeous body and beautiful face. She was here for a month and during that time we spent everyday with each other so we got serious. We had a conversation about many things including what was our turn offs. I told her I would not date a fat girl, ever. She told me she understood that, and that she would not date a fat man either. Well she went back to her home town but we still talked everyday on the phone.
She started to pick up weight, (lots of it) about 130 lbs due to a condition called P.C.O.S. She eventually moved to my city and I was shocked at the weight gain. She assured me that her Dr told her she could lose weight if she took birth control pills watched what she eats and excercises. Well, she's been here for 6 months and has probably gained a little weight because she neither excercises or watches her fat intake. She sometimes talks about her old relationships when she was 140lbs. She even dated the italian guy from nsync and I'm positive they had a sexual relationship. She and I have never had sex, but she often wonders when we will.
I cant help but feel that she wants me to except something the other guys in her past have never had to. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I'd like to hear from both sexes on this.

you are not wrong. i would feel exactly as you do.
what you need to do is sit down and tell her how you feel.
she needs to know.

 

[Kemetstry]

woman should be judged on there personality and there abilities not on how they look

Official G 14: Classified Member
******************************

When sisters start judging men soley on their personalities, so will we.

.o0( Yall talk so much crap. Geez )

 

[bigtown]

Bigtown, I can't relate to you on your situation. I could never walk away from a man who I have an established rapport with or gotten serious about simply because he gained 130 pounds. That puts this woman at 280 lbs. and you did mention that she is tall.

Anyway, this is mindboggling to me. I simply can't relate.

My issue isn't that she gained the weight, That's just something that happened and I'm not bothered by that.My issue is that she does nothing to lose it, nothing. Although she was told by more than one Dr that she is very capable of losing it, and she swore that she was going to because she herself couldn't imagine spending her life as a 300 lb woman. I'm an active person, and she can't keep up with me, I have to slow down for her. should I slow down and get fat myself, Riada? why is it mind boggling to you that I would prefer not to spend the rest of my life worrying about her having diabetes or having a heart attack because of her weight?

 

[karmashines]

My issue isn't that she gained the weight, That's just something that happened and I'm not bothered by that.My issue is that she does nothing to lose it, nothing. Although she was told by more than one Dr that she is very capable of losing it, and she swore that she was going to because she herself couldn't imagine spending her life as a 300 lb woman. I'm an active person, and she can't keep up with me, I have to slow down for her. should I slow down and get fat myself, Riada? why is it mind boggling to you that I would prefer not to spend the rest of my life worrying about her having diabetes or having a heart attack because of her weight?

If your love is based on how much she weighs, then you need to break it off and let her find someone that will care for her whether she chooses to lose it or not.

Bottom line you can't force someone to lose weight. Women have enough pressure from society alone to be a certain size... the last thing they need is the man that supposedly loves them to be on their back too. Find someone that has all of what you are looking for right now, instead of 'molding' someone into that type of person, or expecting them to mold.