Black Poetry : Winter on its way….

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by moham, Sep 27, 2004.

  1. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A clear white morning
    Blinded us,
    all seem bright
    Everything looked
    Pure and white

    but the feeling went away
    and with it did the colors
    and true colors make a day
    so what reason it gives to stay

    and the flocks they kept on falling
    silently they froze us up
    so anxiously awaiting, praying
    the snowing it will stop.
     
  2. lilcherry76

    lilcherry76 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i don't know why, nobody replied, i guess because your flow sounds like those poems out of school books, and not a lot of people feeling school., but i'm listening.............continue....... :hi:
     
  3. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    love your writing poet...
    this poem made me reminisce
    of the season and also
    made me think metaphorically
    about seasons...

    Great rhythm imagery and emotion...

    Nice work!
    Sage
     
  4. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Licherry...and Thank you Angel

    I had a feeling nobody, or hardly anybody would reply. I decided to post it anyways....:grin: , cause i like it. This is piece is quite old, simple and unfinished, but what it means to me personally counts more to me than the quality.
    The coming of a particular winter marked the ending of a relationship I had. Cause we grew cold and distant. That's it....

    but thanks for reading and responding so kindly.

    greets
    moham
     
  5. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    very nice flow..i enjoyed the read.....
     
  6. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This piece made me think of a frosty, pale snowy morning. Those images will be upon us again before you know it. The imagery was on the money.
     
  7. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    wonderful imagery moham...
    creative metaphors..."aclear WHITE morning BLINDED US. all seemed bright.........but the feeling went AWAY..and with it WENT THE COLOR...."
    "the flocks kept on falling,silently they FROZE US up........praying the SNOW will STOP"
    i see in that lost love...racial disharmony...seasons shifting..and more
    lovely...
     
  8. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Diggin this drop. Clear and lucid and tight.
     
  9. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi Mzblkangel, Watzinaname, deepy, Gempis......everyone of you....Thanks for the respond!!! :grouphug:

    And deepy, very interesting your interpretation. It's like you said, when you write, your words seem so clear to you, but someone could feel something (totally) different.
    You were right about the seasons shifting.....:grin: .
    For me the color "white" represented different things: 1. the winter and it's beauty and purity 2. how when you're in a totally white landscape it's hard to find your way, meaning it's beauty can deceit you and make you get lost.......

    really I could tell you about all the different things I see in the piece, but then I wouldn't stop.....:grin:...so I'ma leave it like this..

    greets to you all
    moham
     
  10. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    that's what i meant when i highlighted the white blinded us..froze us...the concept of deceit...
    that's why i like it so...it is so clear and yet so layered...hard to really be simple...hard..and this piece does that so well...
     
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