Black Poetry : will u?

mizdee2002

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Dec 28, 2001
255
1
the gump (montgomery, ala.)
i want to get out of the car
but, i can’t move
feet frozen
hands immobilized
i’m trippin’
what’s wrong with me?
i’m a man
can’t get caught up in this shyte
i got to get control
check myself
how did i allow myself to get
hung up on this broad?
I mean
yeah, she’s fine
but, he!!...i know plenty of fine women
so it ain’t that
she’s just so d@mn fly
smart & independent
a classy, jazzy girl...
no, she’s a woman
...a lady
got her own everything
doesn’t gossip or hang around with silly chicks
she’s not needy or spoiled
she’s spiritual and grounded
i mean she knows who she is and doesn’t make any apologies for it
and oh man
she can burn-
honey, made a cake for my mom’s birthday!
she’s so cool
but more importantly,
she is beautiful
inside and out-
she has invaded my space
i can’t get her off my mind
i smell that coconut shampoo she uses
i see her little navel ring
that tiny mole on her left shoulder blade...
i love her.
i love her so much
& i’m going to get out of this car
walk up to her door
go inside
& get down on one knee...


this is different. i am attempting to write from a male perspective...what do u think...
 
Never had to do that, but I can imagine that's exactly how I would feel. U did a great job in the role reversal. It captures that pivotal moment quite beautifully. I might be inclined to pen a response about what the girl is doing in the house while he's waiting outside (if u don't mind).
I'm lovin your work Dee. Keep pen to pad and heart open
 

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