Black Poetry : will u?

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by mizdee2002, Feb 7, 2002.

  1. mizdee2002

    mizdee2002 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i want to get out of the car
    but, i can’t move
    feet frozen
    hands immobilized
    i’m trippin’
    what’s wrong with me?
    i’m a man
    can’t get caught up in this shyte
    i got to get control
    check myself
    how did i allow myself to get
    hung up on this broad?
    I mean
    yeah, she’s fine
    but, he!!...i know plenty of fine women
    so it ain’t that
    she’s just so [email protected] fly
    smart & independent
    a classy, jazzy girl...
    no, she’s a woman
    ...a lady
    got her own everything
    doesn’t gossip or hang around with silly chicks
    she’s not needy or spoiled
    she’s spiritual and grounded
    i mean she knows who she is and doesn’t make any apologies for it
    and oh man
    she can burn-
    honey, made a cake for my mom’s birthday!
    she’s so cool
    but more importantly,
    she is beautiful
    inside and out-
    she has invaded my space
    i can’t get her off my mind
    i smell that coconut shampoo she uses
    i see her little navel ring
    that tiny mole on her left shoulder blade...
    i love her.
    i love her so much
    & i’m going to get out of this car
    walk up to her door
    go inside
    & get down on one knee...


    this is different. i am attempting to write from a male perspective...what do u think...
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    MIZDEE

    down on one knee
    coz she be all dat
    and softly she reply .......yes !

    from a female perspective)))

    u know how we think i see......very good thoughts :) :heart:
     
  3. klabarron

    klabarron Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    written like a true brutha in love. that' flippin' the script!!!
     
  4. Rashad

    Rashad Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Miz Dee!

    You hitt'n da spot on this piece!
    Hot like fiya sis!;)
     
  5. Danilyn

    Danilyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Never had to do that, but I can imagine that's exactly how I would feel. U did a great job in the role reversal. It captures that pivotal moment quite beautifully. I might be inclined to pen a response about what the girl is doing in the house while he's waiting outside (if u don't mind).
    I'm lovin your work Dee. Keep pen to pad and heart open