Poetry Critiques : Why You Turn My Head?


Lyon King Admin.
Mar 21, 2001
I was thinking about this piece and had to find it and bring it back wow !!!


Sep 17, 2010
Fine writing. I loved the last line.

"For all these things add up to you just being you"

I found it completed the prose so well. I am no expert but the style flows nicely and I get so tired of everything rhyming all the time. This is quite refreshing. Thank you.


Active Member
Jul 4, 2012
Okay, so you asked for honest feedback. Let me begin first by pointing you to a definition of poetry as laid out by Wikipedia - anyone can go to their website and and just type in poetry. Here's a sampling of their definition: "a form of literary art which uses the aesthetic qualities of language to evoke meanings in addition to, or in place of, the prosaic ostensible meaning."

"Poetry uses forms and conventions to suggest differential interpretation to words, or to evoke emotive responses. Devices such as assonance, alliteration, onomatopoeia and rhythm are sometimes used to achieve musical or incantatory effects. The use of ambiguity, symbolism, irony and other stylistic elements of poetic diction often leaves a poem open to multiple interpretations. Similarly, metaphor, simile and metonymy[1] create a resonance between otherwise disparate images—a layering of meanings, forming connections previously not perceived. Kindred forms of resonance may exist, between individual verses, in their patterns of rhyme or rhythm."

Here is Wikipedia again - from their definition of prose: "Prose is the most typical form of language, applying ordinary grammatical structure and natural flow of speech rather than rhythmic structure (as in traditional poetry). While there are critical debates on the construction of prose, its simplicity and loosely defined structure has led to its adoption for the majority of spoken dialogue, factual discourse as well as topical and fictional writing. It is commonly used, for example, in literature, newspapers, magazines, encyclopedias, broadcasting, film, history, philosophy, law and many other forms of communication."

Given these two definitions, wouldn't it be fair to say that what you've written here is prose and not poetry? You recorded your thoughts - and there is nothing wrong with that; but I could not in all honesty, and fairness to you, treat this as if it were poetry.

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