Black Jokes Humor : Why Women Are Crabby

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by DivaWithTude, Sep 3, 2005.

  1. DivaWithTude

    DivaWithTude Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2004
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    Why Women Are Crabby

    >We started to "bud" into our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find out
    that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
    >Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along
    with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone
    crankies had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
    >Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the
    first time, which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus
    through your nostrils, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
    >Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry ******** and
    water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother
    John.
    Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live
    with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and
    day, making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
    Our once flat bellies looked like we had swallowed a watermelon whole and
    we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the OB and hubby square in the face for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.
    >After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking,
    jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
    >Then... come their teen years. Need I say more? When the kids are almost
    grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while
    hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday and is now all but null and
    void. So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT
    and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
    >Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake:
    Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... So, while I
    love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.
    The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated,
    >Forgetful
    >and Psycho
     
  2. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    3,484
    Likes Received:
    711
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    The Meek !Shall! Inherit the Earth.
    Location:
    StreetNationEarth: Seattle
    Ratings:
    +745
    And You do it with such Style, Grace, Poise and Beauty! even when it's all at it's worst!
    Ah, Woman!! Thank You For ALL You Do! I am Blessed to be a part of anything that has Wo(w)man in it!
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    dat hit the spot indeed now i know ......lol
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    i was thinking bout this crabby woman and had to read
    this joke out loud ........lol
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    And yet, we still remain queens. I guess this is sort of ironic, isn't it?
     
Loading...