Black Relationships : Why Is It That When We Talk About IR People Automatically Assume Black/White?

miss

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Feb 18, 2006
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I don't get it, really. A lot of us are against interracial relationships for many reasons, but it always kind of pisses me off that the conversation has to be about Black/White couples. Unless someone specifies the IR as Black/Asian, Black/Middle-Eastern or Black/Latino, we will automatically start talking about Black/White relationships.

I get that we (Blacks and Whites) are polar opposites in looks, society, politics, style, upbringing, and just about everything, but don't other races present the same problems that a lot of us are worried about? Like the dying of our race and the shortage of Black men. Don't Asians, Hispanics, and Middle-Esterns end up causing the same gaps?

I'm personally not militant about being against IR. I don't have it written off as a complete restriction from myself, but I don't really put myself in one often, either. I just get kind of annoyed that whenever I or someone else brings it up (in real life, not so much the internet) the assumption is that we're referring to Black/White relationships, which is IMO, a boring, played out, and overly discussed subject. The conversations are ALWAYS the same: Black men go to White women because they think Black Women have attitudes/because WW treat them like "real men"/because WW are just easy/because it helps their social status/because they think they're more attractive-- and Black Women go for White men because: Black men are bums/Black men don't appreciate us/White men are just better, blah, blah, blah.

And people always end up "agreeing to disagree" so that means nobody really made a difference. Serious debates where nobody changes their views even a little are nothing but worthless arguments in which people get angry for no reason and leave with the same thoughts they had before they started.

But I don't want to have debates on IR, sometimes I just want to know what a lot of people feel uncomfortable talking about in front of other men and women; what do you find attractive about other races? I can never have this conversation other black women or men who don't get nervous. The people I'm around spend so much time promoting "Black is Beautiful" that their mentality is almost like that they can't think other people are beautiful too without feeling like traitors.

Any opinions?
 
miss said:
I don't get it, really. A lot of us are against interracial relationships for many reasons, but it always kind of pisses me off that the conversation has to be about Black/White couples. Unless someone specifies the IR as Black/Asian, Black/Middle-Eastern or Black/Latino, we will automatically start talking about Black/White relationships.

I get that we (Blacks and Whites) are polar opposites in looks, society, politics, style, upbringing, and just about everything, but don't other races present the same problems that a lot of us are worried about? Like the dying of our race and the shortage of Black men. Don't Asians, Hispanics, and Middle-Esterns end up causing the same gaps?

I'm personally not militant about being against IR. I don't have it written off as a complete restriction from myself, but I don't really put myself in one often, either. I just get kind of annoyed that whenever I or someone else brings it up (in real life, not so much the internet) the assumption is that we're referring to Black/White relationships, which is IMO, a boring, played out, and overly discussed subject. The conversations are ALWAYS the same: Black men go to White women because they think Black Women have attitudes/because WW treat them like "real men"/because WW are just easy/because it helps their social status/because they think they're more attractive-- and Black Women go for White men because: Black men are bums/Black men don't appreciate us/White men are just better, blah, blah, blah.

And people always end up "agreeing to disagree" so that means nobody really made a difference. Serious debates where nobody changes their views even a little are nothing but worthless arguments in which people get angry for no reason and leave with the same thoughts they had before they started.

But I don't want to have debates on IR, sometimes I just want to know what a lot of people feel uncomfortable talking about in front of other men and women; what do you find attractive about other races? I can never have this conversation other black women or men who don't get nervous. The people I'm around spend so much time promoting "Black is Beautiful" that their mentality is almost like that they can't think other people are beautiful too without feeling like traitors.

Any opinions?

Miss ... i can't speak to the experiences you've described above, but i can share why things are like they are here, in this community.

This community is specifically for, by, and about Black People. When someone comes here, suggesting that we discuss other people, get with other people, concern ourselves with other people ... it takes the focus off of us ... and by nature of this, becomes disruptive to our purpose for being here.

We tolerate some of this, as evidenced by the many inter-racial threads found here ... but that is not our reason for being ... trying to justify, explain, encourage, or support relationships with other races. I do believe there are sites that cater specifically to this though, if that's what you're interested in.

:heart:

Destee
 
karmashines said:
Are you new here, Miss? I'm not asking to offend, but simply to say that in many of the threads some have addressed already blacks in IR with other non-white races. I agree they can cause the same problems if it's all based on the thought one is better than the other, or because one seems to have "less" problems than one's own.

Yes I am new, but I'm talking about people in the general media and real life, not necessarily these forums.
 
miss said:
I don't get it, really. A lot of us are against interracial relationships for many reasons, but it always kind of pisses me off that the conversation has to be about Black/White couples. Unless someone specifies the IR as Black/Asian, Black/Middle-Eastern or Black/Latino, we will automatically start talking about Black/White relationships.

I get that we (Blacks and Whites) are polar opposites in looks, society, politics, style, upbringing, and just about everything, but don't other races present the same problems that a lot of us are worried about? Like the dying of our race and the shortage of Black men. Don't Asians, Hispanics, and Middle-Esterns end up causing the same gaps?

I'm personally not militant about being against IR. I don't have it written off as a complete restriction from myself, but I don't really put myself in one often, either. I just get kind of annoyed that whenever I or someone else brings it up (in real life, not so much the internet) the assumption is that we're referring to Black/White relationships, which is IMO, a boring, played out, and overly discussed subject. The conversations are ALWAYS the same: Black men go to White women because they think Black Women have attitudes/because WW treat them like "real men"/because WW are just easy/because it helps their social status/because they think they're more attractive-- and Black Women go for White men because: Black men are bums/Black men don't appreciate us/White men are just better, blah, blah, blah.

And people always end up "agreeing to disagree" so that means nobody really made a difference. Serious debates where nobody changes their views even a little are nothing but worthless arguments in which people get angry for no reason and leave with the same thoughts they had before they started.
But I don't want to have debates on IR, sometimes I just want to know what a lot of people feel uncomfortable talking about in front of other men and women; what do you find attractive about other races? I can never have this conversation other black women or men who don't get nervous. The people I'm around spend so much time promoting "Black is Beautiful" that their mentality is almost like that they can't think other people are beautiful too without feeling like traitors.

Any opinions?

I can discuss any topic whether I agree with its basic premise or not, but sometimes 'agreeing to disagree' is the middle ground to prevent threads from being closed here. I think that in real life, agreeing to disagree is equal to just walking away from someone when there's silly friction.

You say you want to "know what a lot of people feel uncomfortable talking about in front of other men and women?" Could you be more specific?

I, for one, don't find other whole races attractive. I look at the qualities of individual men and women I meet.
 

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