How soon we forget. There was a big fuss a few months ago about a legislator that said "blacks need to get over slavery". I take that to mean that many whites are not going to allow us to use that as a excuse to be racist against them anymore. I know and have known many whites who can't believe that there are so many black folks who are still angry about slavery and the past.
So, is it okay for blacks to be racist? Hell no, and if you are one of them, you can pay a price for it, under the law. If you call a white person a racial slur, you can be sued for it. If you discriminate against them in housing or employment, you can be sued for it. About ten years ago, the then black mayor of the city of Wilmington, Delaware, had to lay off some workers. He was over heard by a white person saying "no black people are going to lose their job". the lady sued the city for racism and won.
So, it is not okay for black people to be racist, because we sponsored a movement to end all racism, it was called the civil rights movement, and it didn't just benefit black folks. it was intended to make us all equal under the law.
Now as to who has control over whom, I happen to work for a management staff that is mixed with white, black and hispanic. I live in a city with a black mayor and black police chief. My bank manager is also black. I have a business in real estate and my favorite agent is also black. My mortgage broker is white as is my insurance agent. I know of black members on the local school board also. No black person has to accept that there are probably more whites that have overcome racism than there are black folk. When that is the case, there is no way to placate them, because they will see everything as a ploy or subversive, or just that the white man has some devilish plan underfoot. They can't possibly care about a black person is usually the sentiment. I'm glad I don't live in that world.