I'm supposed to be studying right now but this is on my heart so I can't concentrate until I get it out. When a certain person (now banned thrice) insulted me Sam came to my defense. Nobody had ever defended me against anything before. When I was four a little boy pushed me down in the lobby of the preschool and jumped on top of me. Nobody stopped him. Nobody did anything but watch and laugh. When I was seven my best friend's older sister paid her a dollar to punch me in the nose just so she could see it bleed. In grade school no one knew I was hard of hearing. They thought I was being hardheaded and lacked commonsense. By the time my hearing impairment reached the point that it could not be denied everyone was so indoctrinated with the idea that I was stupid that even my inability to hear was seen as another manifestation of my stupidity. And I believed this. I was a child that everyone loved to hate and even my teachers laughed when kids beat me up . A few years ago one of the mothers of my church made the mistake of thinking she could come out of the closet and step to me. I was the one the pastor asked to step out of the office while he confered privately with her and thosse who came to help cover her @$$. He told me I was acting like the devil whom the bible says is the accusor of the brethren. so he turned his back on me in favor of this woman who paid big tithes. When Sam defended me I was amazed. I was astonished. As I've gotten to know him better over the past year I am more amazed and more astonished than ever. He is brilliant, full of grace and passion. He has been my teacher and my lord. At first when he pointed out the stars to me I could not see past the tip of his finger, but only when I took the spirit of his message to heart did I gain the power to love him with a love that is an expression of universal oneness. If we look at the esoteric principles of the creation story we can get a powerful message from the myth of woman coming from man's rib. What is the function of a rib? Is it not to protect the vital organs inside? Is it possible that the body of our people is suffering from an auto-immune disease? We have bought the idea that men are all powerful and have no genine emotions. So we use the cracked shards of our own pain to defend ourselves against the ones we were designed to protect. We think it is fun to cut and stab and *****, not even realizing how much damage we are doing. We have all been damaged in this racist, sexist, patriarchal society so why further lacerate one another? Why pour kerosene on the fire? Sistas, why not do what no one can do as well as we can to heal and soothe and energize those who for better or worse are OUR men? Now, I have an exam tomorrow. I must go to study but please sleep on what I have said.