Black Relationships : Why have a 'sugar daddy'?

Riada said:
Well, I’m glad that James told the truth, although it may have annoyed me.

Just like he doesn’t cut a sista slack when she’s flabby, I don’t cut a man slack either. If he doesn’t come correct to me in the ways that are important to me, then he can keep on steppin.’

The 44 year old boyfriend I had when I was 19 definitely did not look, facially or bodywise, like he was in his 20s or 30s. He looked his age which was around my father’s age, but he was a nice man—and very knowledgeable. In general, I judge men by their interior, not their exterior. You can miss some truly wonderful people judging books by their covers, so to speak. I may have a preference but I would never allow a person’s appearance (unless they’re grotesque) to keep me from getting to know them or having a full relationship with them, romantic or otherwise. I can just imagine how much I would miss out on if I were to go through life doing that

Society makes it pretty clear how much it hates women who are overweight or older than 18-35. This is why dieting and facial cream industries make millions every year. A middle-aged overweight black woman doesn't need Jamesfrmphilly to not cut her slack... society and the media will do enough of a job letting her know how inferior she is.

There is also hypocrisy when one says to consider a certain demographic of a person that they themselves don't want to date.
 
I don't get it, in high school 14 year old girls like the 17 year guys, 18 girls like the 24 year old guys, every guy until they are about 25 years old gets no play unless they have alot of game, so is this really a double standard? If everything has its season, that is its time, then how come it can't be understood that old women will suffer the same fate the young "inexperience" guys got at one time?

Girls complain about how young guys don't know what to do or when to do it, old guys say that the heat, moisture, and grip isn't the same with older women. I see no difference.
 
Most women want men who are in their same generation. Some may want a few years older because men who in their late 20s tend to be more relationship-oriented than those in a younger age range, (though in my personal opinion a 17-year-old should not be going out with someone 25). But if it's a 20-year-old with a 40-year-old, you have to wonder why are they together? What could they POSSIBLY have in common?

Many times women who go this route do so for the reasons already stated in Pan's article: money. You can also add in low self-esteem (feeling they can't get anyone else), or subconsciously wanting a father figure. There are exceptions to the rule of course, but in my opinion it's not that often.

As far as older women... it seems the media is starting to shed light on their May/December relationships with young men. Though I STRONGLY disagree and think most are formed from dysfunctional thinking, sexual curiosity, or 'gigaloism', if this is the type of response they get from men their own age when it comes to romance, I could see why some may feel they need to turn this route.

Sex is indeed a powerful drive... even in old age both men and women seem to want companionship. My grandma who is 75, bedridden, arthritic and showing signs of Alzheimzers even said 'old people have feelings too.' So I don't see why it's okay for one group (men), to explore their sexuality in old age and for women to just sit in the rocking chair knitting.
 
I think all those things regarding women who have low self-esteem, or wanting a father figure is more reflective on American culture than anything else as to why they would prefer older men. That's like some kind of Freudian concept, where every son secretly disires his mother or, every daughter wants her father, I find that bizarre. Maybe people have more in common with Nimrod and Oedipus than they think though, who knows?
 
Deepvoice said:
I think all those things regarding women who have low self-esteem, or wanting a father figure is more reflective on American culture than anything else as to why they would prefer older men. That's like some kind of Freudian concept, where every son secretly disires his mother or, every daughter wants her father, I find that bizarre. Maybe people have more in common with Nimrod and Oedipus than they think though, who knows?

Well, the Freudian concept applies to couples who are close in age too, not just May/December relationships.

Freud was a little weird on the parent thing, but on some level I do think we subconsciously find relationships that will result in the same type of relationship our parents had.
 

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