Black Relationships : Why have a 'sugar daddy'?

Deepvoice said:
I think all those things regarding women who have low self-esteem, or wanting a father figure is more reflective on American culture than anything else as to why they would prefer older men. That's like some kind of Freudian concept, where every son secretly disires his mother or, every daughter wants her father, I find that bizarre. Maybe people have more in common with Nimrod and Oedipus than they think though, who knows?

That's very insightful brother Deepvoice. Although we can see with the article I posted that this behavior extends beyond American society.
 
QUOTE=karmashines

"Society makes it pretty clear how much it hates women who are overweight or older than 18-35. This is why dieting and facial cream industries make millions every year. A middle-aged overweight black woman doesn't need Jamesfrmphilly to not cut her slack... society and the media will do enough of a job letting her know how inferior she is.

There is also hypocrisy when one says to consider a certain demographic of a person that they themselves don't want to date."


*********************************

Yes, I agree that society doesn't need James' help. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part that just maybe the men on Destee were a new breed.

Many of the brothas on here talk about how a sista has power and we need to use it, especially when it comes to choosing a “good” man. I’m just realizing too that they’re talking about the sistas in the 18-35 year old range, for the most part. What about the sista who is 45, 55, 65, 75? We sistas are all going to be that age at one point. Women of that age want love, sex, companionship just as much as younger women and they can probably appreciate these things even more than a younger woman. There are a lotta sistas in that age range now that we know and care about.

If most brothas shun the 45 or 55 year old and older sista who they figure has lost her “grip” (heat, moisture, firmness, etc.), then who is she supposed to be with? Where is the “good” man for her if most men in her age group are looking for women under 35?

Why is a woman good only for her firm body and for what’s between her legs? Whatever happened to loyalty, wisdom, fidelity, dependability, maturity, etc. Brothas have to admit that these are traits more likely to be found in an older more settled woman.

My girlfriend’s mother who was about 60-something was going with this white man around her age and everybody was talking about her for doing that. And there’s this other older sista I know who is married to this older white man. In both of these cases, I wondered why these sistas hadn't found themselves a Black man. Did these older sistas already know what some of the brothas are sayin here now?
 
I can empathize with older women, afterall I do have a mother, and she's 72 years old and single.

But on the other hand, the cold facts are that men are aroused in the mind first, by what they see.

The body of a younger woman is more appetizing to the mind of a man than an older woman, generally speaking. If women in there 50's, 60's and 70's had the type of bodies that women have in their 20's and 30's, most of the former would probably not have a problem finding a man.

It may not be fair, and be a double standard, but that's how it is these days.
 
Riada said:
Yes, I agree that society doesn't need James' help. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part that just maybe the men on Destee were a new breed.

Many of the brothas on here talk about how a sista has power and we need to use it, especially when it comes to choosing a “good” man. I’m just realizing too that they’re talking about the sistas in the 18-35 year old range, for the most part. What about the sista who is 45, 55, 65, 75? We sistas are all going to be that age at one point. Women of that age want love, sex, companionship just as much as younger women and they can probably appreciate these things even more than a younger woman. There are a lotta sistas in that age range now that we know and care about.

If most brothas shun the 45 or 55 year old and older sista who they figure has lost her “grip” (heat, moisture, firmness, etc.), then who is she supposed to be with? Where is the “good” man for her if most men in her age group are looking for women under 35?

Why is a woman good only for her firm body and for what’s between her legs? Whatever happened to loyalty, wisdom, fidelity, dependability, maturity, etc. Brothas have to admit that these are traits more likely to be found in an older more settled woman.

My girlfriend’s mother who was about 60-something was going with this white man around her age and everybody was talking about her for doing that. And there’s this other older sista I know who is married to this older white man. In both of these cases, I wondered why these sistas hadn't found themselves a Black man. Did these older sistas already know what some of the brothas are sayin here now?

To be fair to the brothers of Destee, brother JamesfrmPhilly doesn't represent all men. Nor does he represent brothers in general, he is simply stating his opinion. Brother James is completely entitled to his opinion, but ultimately it is his opinion. There is really no need to be discouraged, or to turn this into another attack on black men. Sugar daddies are not exclusive to the black community. There are just as many white sugar daddies are their are black ones. Indeed I know of some young black women who have white sugar daddies.

It is ironic that some middle aged women find this topic to be controversial, when the hottest trend currently is the reverse: Older women dating younger men. Stella isn't the only middle aged black woman getting her groove back. Should middle age black men start throwing up their arms in protest? I doubt many will, and they shouldn't. In reality the number of black men and women who date people decades younger than themselves more than likely cancel each other out. The majority of people date within their age range. They always have!
 
age has nothing to do with it.
my first wife was older than i was.

around Philly, middle age sisters get very fat and unkempt.
who should take responsibility for that?
the fact is most black women in my area do not know how to take care of themselves.

how does that make ME a villain?

i deal with women who are tight, slim and fit.
no smokers or drinkers or substances.
no meat eaters.
she most be clean of mind and body.

age is not in that equation.

i walk several miles every day, drink bottles of water and eat salads.
i would do more but my heart is not strong enough.
meanwhile the sisters are sitting on their fat behinds getting their nails done.

ladies choice.
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top