Black Relationships : Why have a 'sugar daddy'?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by panafrica, Aug 17, 2005.

  1. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4145674.stm

    Although this is based in Africa, this occurance happens all over the world (especially in the US). I'd like to get some of the Destee sisters' opinion about this.
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Here is a sample of some of the comments this topic generated:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4145674.stm
     
  3. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hmm...

    I had an older friend who was quite well off,
    widowed.. no kids. I knew his wife and he for 2 years prior,
    to her demise. It was a slowly degenerative death, he and I were both
    there taking care of her.. ( i was doing elder care) but during her prime she treated me as her daughter, he just went about his way.

    BUt when she died, he treated me as his daughter.. as she did,
    we went to lunches dinners.. he paid for my books first semester of school..
    and gave me money for the essentials of my dorm room.. I guess he saw me as the only other person he has seen besides his wife for the last 2 years..
    and was gracious that he wasnt mourning by hiself. In college he checked on me.. sent care packages.. of snacks.. and money with gift certificates.. to various eaterys.. for my birthday he came to take me out to dinner..

    now my parents despised our relationship.. they called him my shugar daddy.. he was 45 and very shy.. and personal.. I saw it as a frindship.. in which both parties greatly benifited.. there was no sex.. no kissing.. a fatherly hug here and there and.. not sexual demeanor of the whole thing.. just two good ppl enjoying teachothers company..!

    So i guess it would depend on how sweet you are being to your shugar daddy!
     
  4. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That dude wasn't a sugar daddy Poetic. He was a friend. Sugar Daddies get sex from their female dependents.
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    as a friend, why don't you give him a shot?
     
  6. Riada

    Riada Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think the whole phenomenon of the “sugar daddy” has been around forever in most societies, if you read history. Older men want younger women for ego-stroking or sex and other reasons. When I was nineteen and in college, I had a 44 year old boyfriend. He was divorced and had two daughters around my age. I didn’t think much about his age. He was just a guy I liked, but I noticed he got a kick from being seen with me.

    From being around Africans, I know that this is very common, almost an institution, in most African countries, and (from reading) in many other countries too. It’s usually done very discreetly and it’s not looked at the way it’s looked at through the puritanical lens it’s looked at through here, by some. Some women here and everywhere, get money to start their business this way, help with their careers, get their education financed or get money to help their relatives in many countries in the world this way. This has been the case throughout history in most societies because historically men had the money and power and they want women.

    The main problem with this type of relationship is that sometimes the young woman is not smart enough or capable of protecting themselves in these relationships and the girl then gets diseased, abused, or whatever. There are other problems too but they’re not the focus of this thread
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When I was in my teens and early twenties, I knew of girls who wanted to be in similiar situations. I listened to their conversations of how they were planning on going to a club that one of these men happened to own....and how they planned on getting "close" to him. They wanted the money that he had to offer. My reaction to this was "Ew!!!!!" because he was old enough to be our father.

    One of these girls did end up living with an older man of means. When he first asked her if she was interested, yes, she was interested in the money, and the places he said he could take her. But he was overweight and hadn't really kept himself up, so she told me that she didn't want to sleep with him. To make a long story short, I guess she decided to make do, I don't know, I didn't want to know, lol. But she also worked through the years, I guess she didn't just want to depend on solely his money. And when he became sickly, she helped take care of him. So, I guess you never know exactly where these relationships may lead. Not my cup of tea though.
     
  8. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i give a 20 year forecast.. for men.. and if im dating a man at forty he must look @ least 30.... athletic and healthy.... it might sound vain.. but i need a partner in 20-50 more years.. not a child to feed... and wipe his @ss...
     
  9. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    you say you refuse to give a good man a shot today because of what might happen in 20 years?
    that is a bunch of hooey.
    that is what is wrong with black women.

    the man is a good man.
    give him some, you won't miss it.
    besides in 20 years YOU may need some help.
    no one knows the future.
     
  10. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    C'mon now James, you don't want her to end up some horny 45 year old woman changing some old geezers' diaper do you?
     
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