Black Relationships : Why don't some women approach men??

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by kente417mojo, Jan 26, 2004.

  1. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have a friend (a woman) who wants to get to know this guy but she doesn't want to approach him first. I told her that if she wants to meet him to say something, but she won't. She says if it's meant to be he'll come up to her and make the first move. Is this a common view among women?
     
  2. HerukhuMaat

    HerukhuMaat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's just nature bro. It's not really in a woman's nature to inititiate things. Some people may think it's cultural thing but it's more like human nature. Men by nature are more active, women by nature are more passive. It's not necessarily good or bad it's just what it is. Not to say that women don't ever intitiate things, but it's more common among men to.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    there are some aggressive women but i see it
    she may be afraid to step to him first or maybe
    she see something within but it's sort of common
    that most men always speak first but i tell you we
    have some very aggressive women....
     
  4. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Seattle is filled with aggressive women...sometimes so aggressive it seems "manish" Funny thing is, most of the aggressive women are not black. The caucasian and asian women approach black men in droves and they love it. Men here have actually been known to make comments that we should be more like these women. Don't get me wrong, I'll approach a man if my observations prove he may be receptive, but not in the manner in which these other women do it. But I don't think it's really easy for a lot of women to approach men. I personally prefer to be wooed by a man than me doing the wooing. I appreciate the standard old fashioned approach in my relationships...

    I
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    so true i agree but sometime a woman makes a move
    if she feel it's right i my self love to woo the woman and
    shower her but today we have women moving faster then
    men popping questions and testing the water

    i think women don't approach men due to there standard
    of the old way let the man come to them many still feel this
    way but those aggressive women will act on something they like or see we have them just quiet somewhat and more laid back

    if you like someone why wait strike first before the next one
    walk away with the prize !
     
  6. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    HerukhuMaat, do you really think that it's not in women's nature to be aggressive or is it that we've been socialized not to be?

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  7. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ^5 sista Queenie I was thinking the same thing.

    Brotha HerukhuMaat have you come to this conclusion yourself or is this a FACT you have discovered?

    I would also like to point out that to many...a simple "approach" is not always interpreted as "aggresive"

    Brotha kente417mojo...I myself, if I am SO moved by a spirit that I find myself YEARNING to search his soul...I will initiate conversation.

    Your Question...
    I can not speak for all women. I can not even speak for ALL sistas. I do know that, as sista Queenie pointed out, we dont necessarily live in a society that encourages a womans effrontery. So even if it IS a common view among women...in this day and age...R u really surprised?
     
  8. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brotha and sistas...thank you for all the responses. They really helped a lot. My own personal view on the situation is, if you see something you like..why not initiate it. I also understand now why many people may choose not to. Thank you very much for your insight on this topic. As always, you all have many valid points.
     
  9. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hard to know what to do. You don't want to come across as aggressive, then again, you don't want to let someone that you may have a connection with, slip away. Sort of like being between a rock and a hard place. I guess if you don't make a move, you'll never know.
     
  10. HerukhuMaat

    HerukhuMaat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Okay. NNQueen. Let's do a poll on here for women to decide if they would approach men or should the men approach them. I know the results won't surprise me at all.

    How many women in their relationships initiate sex on a regular basis? I don't think too many.
    A woman always chooses her suitor. Men don't choose in this game of life, we may suggest but it's ultimately the woman who chooses who she will mate with or associate with in a relationship. Men by nature provide suggestive gestures and women respond. I think it's innate.
     
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