Black People : Why do we stress over those who don’t care about us?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by panafrica, Nov 2, 2004.

  1. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    From worrying about brothers dating “white chicks”…to stressing out about “white boys” taking all the good black women…to wondering if people are “stupid” for rejecting us in the past. Why do so many in our community stress over those who are unavailable & unconcerned about us?
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    a question i ask daily to my self and others
    yet haven't got a sound answer ....stress over what care less of me
    is not a worry for me , i stress about what i care for and who!
    surely not a white man nor who dating who , rejection been my most
    inner power that makes me stronger and get after what i want more

    sometime it all because how one was mislead and told yet give no reason
    to stress self ......The number one sniper to black folks mind (stress)
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hi Brother Pan ... i believe it's because we've been conditioned to seek the approval of those who will never value us. This is the legacy of slavery and after hundreds of years of living this way ... hoping massa would count us properly ... be pleased with our actions, thoughts, etc. ... many of us still yearn for that.

    In many cases, if you don't please the powers that be, you won't work, you won't advance, you won't experience even a semblance of the successes you see them enjoying. It is by design, it is no coincidence.

    During Brother OldSoul's class this past Sunday, we talked about the "magical negro" ... how most every major Black actor in Hollywood, if they've wanted success, have had to play the "magical negro" role. The role where they have some magic power, power used to help and save the White person ... oftentimes sacrificing their own life for them in the process. As we discussed this, we were hard-pressed to think of any Black actors that have reached any level of "success" in Hollywood, that has not had to play this role. Another role that Brother OldSoul mentioned, was where Black male actors must eventually put on a dress, play the role of a woman, if he is to go on and experience the greater successes in that arena. Of course this also applies to the Black female who wants success, she must bare her body and lay with a White man. This is the media, it presents the archetype (the original) by which the rest of us base our lives on, whether consciously or subconsciosly. Do what we say, please us, or you will not be accepted, you will not be successful.

    This "black women with white men" ... or "black men with white women" ... or any of the other virtually trivial arguments we get into with each other ... is just a small manifestation of the bigger picture, in my opinion. The fact that we spend so much time fighting with each other over these topics, is just a sign of how damaged we are and how much healing we need.

    Fortunately many of us aware of this conditioning that has and is taking place, and acting accordingly. Hopefully we can be patient with the rest of our Sisters and Brothers, as they too come into the knowledge of their own selves and aware of what is being done to us all. If we can't be patient with our Sisters and Brothers who may not be as aware as we are, then we too are still being greatly influenced by this conditioning, it's just manifesting itself in a different way.

    The assault and devastation they put on us as a people, effects us in so many different ways, we really must learn to be consious of them all, in order to overcome them.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i agree it is a waste of time.
     
  5. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I agree with you Sister Des. Issues of "race" are prevalent all around us such that we can't physically escape the images of it so we constantly focus our attention on it and feel the need to discuss it often when we come here--be it positive or negative.

    Brother Pan, I could be misreading your question, but do I sense some frustration in it? I'm starting to get the impression that some of us want to see a different type of discussion taking place here. Am I correct? As I reflect on the recent thread that Brother Manasiac started when he asked why does race have to enter discussions where there seems to be no relevance and now yours.

    What should the focus of our discussions be?

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  6. AfroBoricuaRoni

    AfroBoricuaRoni Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yep, I agree with Sister Destee. I'll admit too, that although some of the aforementioned things are not my biggest concern I still find myself seeking the approval of others even when I don't mean to or want to. But these last few years have taught me a lot and I'm not as bad as I was before. Glad about that. :bellydance:
     
  7. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My reasons for starting this thread were rather simple, I wanted to make those who worry about people that are unavailable (because they are involved in a relationship or uninterested), realize that they are wasting their time. By pointing this out, I also wish to demonstrate that there are more constructive ways to spend one's time (like focusing on those people who are available). In other words I'd like people to start thinking logically instead of emotionally!
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    are you a Vulcan?
     
  9. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My thinking is so outside the norm that I wonder that myself brotherJames.
     
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