Black Relationships : why cant we communicate?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Emortalist, Jul 30, 2012.

  1. Emortalist

    Emortalist Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What the hell makes woman so hard to talk to, what make them always want to argue. I hate that SH*T! It doesn't make since to me. Please don't attack me I don't need anymore of that in my life. Just honest answer, and solutions.
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    :hello: Emortalist ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

    Thanks for joining us and sharing!

    If you approach your conversations with women, like above, therein lies your answer. You need to learn how to talk to folk without swearing right out of the gate. It's disrespectful, and doesn't create the most inviting energies. I certainly wouldn't want to talk with you for long, if that's the best you have to give. I say it's the answer, but there may be more improvements you need to make.

    For the record, cursing / swearing is not allowed here. It's a rule violation, so please stop.

    Again, thanks for joining us!

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Hello Emortalist and welcome!

    Your question generalizes women and lumps them together making your claim an inaccurate statement. But, based on the emotion you have expressed, you appear to be frustrated with the women you have communicated with. If this is something you truly want to figure out and change, as Destee has shared, think about how you express yourself to women. If this is a pattern of behavior that leads to your frustration, consider making some effort to change your communication style and see if that might bring about better results when you talk to women.

    Good luck!
     
  4. Emortalist

    Emortalist Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Pardon me for swearing.... wont happen again. I had just finished another nonproductive conversation and was looking for some real help. Thanks for your words they were so helpful the way you figured out what my problem was so fast was a real eye opener, I never thought of that, I'm going to work on that right away.

    Thank you for your time and attention.
     
  5. Emortalist

    Emortalist Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sincerely.... thank you for you words you were correct I am frustrated, but I promise you I am very respectful and a understanding when I speaking to or dealing with women, especially black woman. I love you so much! So much so that I believe that is the problem. You say I'm generalizing woman meaning they are not all the same, well maybe they are not. Can you tell me what I should be looking for in a woman that tells me that we can have a relationship void of erational and pointless disagreements? I have no problem admiting when I'm wrong if I am, I have to acknowledge it in order to grow. I want to agree or agree to disagree, either way i want to come to some understanding in order to have harmony in my house.
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I'm not Queenie, the Sister you were responding to, but i'll add my 2 cent anyway ... :)

    First, you say "maybe they are not" in response to her telling you we aren't all the same. I think it would be good if you could wrap your mind around the fact that we are not all the same, no maybe in it. This will allow you to meet each Sister as an individual, distinct from all others, and not having to put on her the burden of other 'bad experiences' you might have had with another Sister.

    I think what you should look for in a woman, that tells you yall can have a relationship void of irrational and pointless disagreements, is a Sister that consistently delivers such. There's hardly any replacement for it. If you are having these kinds of interactions ... irrational and pointless disagreements ... then it's probably safe to say, she can't deliver what you want. Oftentimes, if this is the case, you'll see it early in the relationship, giving you time to ease out and continue your search elsewhere.

    Keep in mind too, that communicating generally requires at least 2 people. You bring some energies to the exchange as well, and they could possibly trigger a Sister to be more irrational and such. Not that this is an excuse for her being this way, but if you can be keenly aware of what you're saying and doing, and how you're saying it and doing it .... it could go a long way in keeping her calm and reasonable. Likewise, she must do the same for you, for she too has the ability to trigger you to be unreasonable as well (not that that is an excuse for you either).

    Ultimately, it sounds like you want someone that is mature, in control of their own selves, not easily swayed by outside influence (such as the triggers mentioned above). Generally, i'd think these kinds of qualities are demonstrated across the life, and not just in their communications ... so look for maturity everywhere in her life ... wise decisions .. etc., ... and she'll probably be able to deliver what you want.

    Hope it works out!

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Emortalist ... i'd like to say too, that i believe there is some truth in the saying that we draw the kind of people to us, that we are. For example, i rarely have irrational and pointless disagreements with anyone. It's not that i'm so great, it's just that i've grown / matured so far beyond that, that it can't live in my space for any length of time. If it is living in your space, it says something about you. Perhaps not that you are instigating such, but somehow or another, a part of you allows it to live near you ... since it's there. It can't be solely another person's complete fault, that irrational and pointless disagreements surround you. If i were you, i'd key in on that, work that out ... see why you're not stopping it at the gate ... for if you did ... you'd never have it to complain about.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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    peace

    The answer is quite simple. Men that are hard to talk to and who always want to argue...
     
  9. Emortalist

    Emortalist Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks, I truly found that helpful. and will apply it accordingly.
     
  10. Emortalist

    Emortalist Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ok.
     
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