Black Relationships : Why Can't I Call Her?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Jun 22, 2005.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I need some moral support.

    Last week I had a falling out with my sister. A woman at our Church was going around slandering me because I told her that I did not appreciate the way she acted towards me and that if she wanted to be my friend she must show some respect or if she cannot show respect then stay away from me. I did not raise my voice but I did not sugarcoat my words either. She appealed to the other women who form a little clique and they jumped on her side telling me what I was saying and feeling was nothing but the devil.

    Anyway my mother told me that my sister told her that this woman was going aaround asking people what's wrong with me. I asked my sister why she was siding with this woman without even asking me what happened. She went into a tirade that forced me to hang the phone up. There is just no trying to establish reasoning communications with her when she gets like this. It's a combination of hormones (she's pregnant) and sugar imbalance that puts anyone close to her on a rollercoaster ride of emotional unreality. She called right back but I did not answer the phone.

    It's certainly painful to realize that the people who say they love me and should love me are too childish or emotionally imbalanced to stand up for me. Last year a similiar incident occured when one of the women at Chutch mistakenly thought I would be receptive of her coming out of the closet on me. The pastor asked us not to discuss the matter with anyone but he sacrificed my cause in favor of her money and prestige. I've forgiven so much and shed so many hidden tears. But now I've just stopped going there.

    The issue I'm dealing with right now is I feel a desire to call my sister and give her support during her pregnancy. Also I have good news about the goings on in my life and wish I could share them with myy own sister. Despite every good intention of heart and mind my feet simply will not move in the direction of the phone. The prospect of her starting in about me hanging the phone up on her stops me cold. I don't feel guilty about it since she left me no cloice. I just don't feel that a tongue lashing is something I want to deal with right now.

    Do I need to find the strength to go on and call her or should I let sleeping dogs lie?
     
  2. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You should call her and try to just talk about the good stuff. Don't even bring up that issue or anything else concerning church. If she starts up, then hang up on her. One thing I've found out is that it's easier for me to be on bad terms with someone as long as I tried to be civil and take the high road. What's the worse that can happen? You guys aren't talking right now, so worst case scenerio....you'll remain on those terms.
     
  3. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Thanks Brotha Kente. I'ma go on and do it.

    By the way, I tried to buy your book but received an unspecified error message. I'd really like to read that book. Are you on Amazon.com or somewhere or can you talk to these people and find out why my request would not go through?
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's at Barnes and Noble.com, but it would be better to get it from Authorhouse. If not, then you can order it from the Barnes and Noble website or a bookstore by you. I'll also contact them and see why you can't buy it and I'll let you know what's up. Thanks river.
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    no one is obligated to eat ****!
     
  6. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    River, call your sister.. its so hard for me to be the one to reach back out to a person after tattered ends lie dangling still.. but if you want a neat way of getting out of it.. when she is away from home.. drop off a lil basket, of goodies.. u know.. all the candies and nuts yall loved as a child... and attach a note.. you dont have to say your sorry.. but something like.. "Im going nuts, can we go back like we were, when we were kids.".. shell call you..
    I find that this is the easiest way for me.. wish you luck
     
  7. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    to river

    i think this call for some scripture on what you need to do. you see so many families are divided on pettiness. if something happen to one of you the other would regret not forgiving one another. see the devil knows his time is up and he won't to take as many of us down. be like jesus when he was in the wilderness. satan tried to sway jesus in not giving himself up as a sacrifice. sometimes in the midst of our dilemma we forget who had died for us so that we could save ourselves. the devil is out for himself. call her up pregnant or no she know right from wrong. dont fall into that it's the pregnancy thing. as a woman myself we tend to use that as a crutch. i have a verse for you to read its john 20:23. it says if you forgive the sins of any persons, they stand forgiven to them, if you retain those of any persons, they stand retained. these are not my words these are his words. if your brother wrong seventy times you forgive them seventy times more. life is too short to be away from the one you love. remember jesus didn't judge noone. he said anyone who's thirsty will no longer be thirsty, those who are hungry will hunger no more. so as a christian you must forgive. because you alone have to save your soul.
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister River ... we call each other in this community "Family" and it is not by accident. I truly believe we are all Family and i challenge myself to work out the issues that come up in this Family.

    I have often thought, how terrible it would be, if i could be a part of this online "Family," encouraging us to work together, be peaceful and respectful to each other ... but i did not do it in my own Family. That would be a lie and a travesty.

    The healing begins with self, and it then manifests itself in the way we deal with our immediate Family Members, and then to those we meet in online communities or "real" communities, churches, clubs, etc.

    There is something really wrong, in my opinion, if a person can be loving and kind ... forgiving and patient ... promoting Brotherly and Sisterly love ... yet they don't give this to their own siblings, parents, etc.

    Sister ... i'm not suggesting that this is you, please don't misunderstand me. This is something that i've thought on often, and you presented an opportunity for me to share.

    Yes, call your Sister ... apologize even ... you know that she is pregnant, emotional, going through ... be the bridge that closes that gap.

    Love You Sister!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Well I managed to take the plungs. Left a message on the voice mail--Hi talk to you later.

    Not gonna eat nobody's turd. But it is hard with a sister. She is twelve years younger than me so I half raised her. One time when we had a falling out what made me call her was our aunt told me she had gone without her insulin for a week and a half because she was scared to ask me for the fifty dollars to buy it. She's my only blood kin in this town and it is painful when I have to hear from friends that she is in the hospital.
     
  10. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Go to her River, dotn jsut call.. GO to her.
     
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