Black Women : Why Are Some Women Strong and Others Weak?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by river, Nov 17, 2008.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Someone asked the question and I ventured to offer a response as follows.

    Perception is reality. If we perceive ourselves to be strong we will be strong. If we perceive ourselves to be weak we will be weak.

    We live in a society that has stereotyped the quote unquote strong Black woman and equated her with the quote unquote angry Black woman. If we do not overstand what strength is we might allow this stereotype to turn our strength into a negative trait and falsely imagine that true spiritual growth requires that we be weak.

    While it is true that we must love our Creator and overstand that we are created beings, but we must also dispel the myth that we can somehow take glory away from the Creator by being too strong, or too beautiful, or too intelligent, or too happy, etc. If I shown as brightly as a thousand suns at midday on the summer solstice I could not take the slightest glory away from the One who gave light to all the suns of the universe.

    So what makes many women weak is the belief that weakness is our lot and proper demeanor as woman. Society rewards the weak woman (will someone come and rescue a damsel in this dress?) and frowns on the strong woman (she's trying to wear the pants around the house. well, somebody has to wear them.).

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    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." The above speech by Nelson Mandela was originally written by Marianne Williamson
     
  2. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Hmmm...weak women vs strong women?

    I know you're just asking the question, but why must i equate the two as if they are separate and different from who i am. There are areas in myself i consider weak, and there are areas that i consider strong.

    Society is always finding ways to divide things ups. No one person is strong all the time. Just as no one person is weak all the time. My thang is, let society do them, and i do me. I am in an ever moving motion of cancelling out societies interpretation of me. It aint easy, but danggit, i'm gonna try.:D

    Bytheway, Great Topic!:SuN040:

    :heart:
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I agree sister purple i know many women who are strong in her stance yet weak by other means which give her a totle balance
     
  4. sweet apple*pie

    sweet apple*pie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A Strong woman realizes that she is but a mere human life, and not only accepts her weakness, but makes friends with them, as well as her strengths.

    The notion of the "strong black woman" is formulated in a way, in which it almost creates this ideal, that being "strong" is to be emotionless. To be a women of cement and concrete. Thats not hot. To be strong is to look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself as a continuous work in progress...continually on the destination to being strong. But it is when we think we have "arrived" at strong, that we are truly weak.
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I agree with everyone here. You have all elucidated this topic wonderfully.

    No one is strong all the time. .Certainly not I. Like sista Purple I have had to fight tooth and toenail to be accepted, loved and understood for who I am. But then there are times when I have said the battle is not mine, leave it alone. Like sista Applepie said there are times when I must reexamine my concept of strength and realize that at the time it is actually a weakness that will not bring the desired results. And yes, brotha Rich, it is about balance. There really is no absolute definition of strong and weak. They only exist as our actions and attitudes bring us closer to our Creator and to oneness with our universe.

    The choice of how
    I crawl or bow
    Must be mine to choose

    Patti LaBelle
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    The choice of how
    I crawl or bow
    Must be mine to choose

    Patti LaBelle


    That right there say it all , a woman stance is both weak and strong
    with a full balance between both
    only time you see a woman by weakness is because someone has scared her
    broken her inner spirit and taken her poential engery to be who she really is
    which bring low self esteem.

    But in reality a woman is most likely to be 98% strong in her stance with a
    full balance she knows her great power and that she is the foundation of life.
     
  7. Velley Pateah

    Velley Pateah New Member MEMBER

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    What I have read here has been beautiful, and so many great points have been made. As has been mentioned, I believe that the main point in all of it is that a woman needs to love herself in order to love others. Without loving yourself, you will be followed by negaive thoughts about yourself, you'll think negative about other people around you. If you're positive, you can stay confident, and this will result in respecting people around you. From this respect, you demand respect back, and you can't be taken advantage of. These are qualities of a strong woman. It's hard to do to stay positive, but it shows courage and strength.
    A woman needs to remember, however, that with strength comes weakness. No one can be strong all the time, but when we do feel weak, we can remind ourselves, and keep reminding ourselves, that "I am a strong woman, and I do love myself. "
    So, ladies, be strong and always love yourself.
     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Yes you are correct love thou self firsty to love another .
    You said it here and i agree 100%
     
  9. BLK_N_BEAU

    BLK_N_BEAU Member MEMBER

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    You know I have always wondered why some women were so confident and other women neede affirmation daily just to get through the week. I am not sure what it is for other women but, for me it is a day to day thing. One day I can have my hair done, nails done and a new outfit on and I feel like the most beautiful women in the world. On other days I wake up not feeling so great so I throw on some sweats and sunglasses and go about my day with my head down. I wish I had the answer.:10500:
     
  10. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Sistah, this made me wanna stand up and shout!
     
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