Black Relationships : WHY ARE SISTERS SO BAD AT CHOOSING MEN?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by bigtown, Jul 15, 2004.

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  1. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    LET ME HEAR YOU GUYS OPINION ON THIS SUBJECT. WHY DO SISTAS COMPLAIN SO MUCH WHEN THEY CHOOSE TO BE WITH THUGS, BALLERS, HUSTLERS, AND GUYS THAT HAVE MONEY BUT NOTHING ELSE. WHY IS IT THAT SISTAS PASS UP A GREAT GUY BECAUSE HE ISN'T TALL ENOUGH TO HOOK UP WITH A SIX FOOT TALL HUSTLER? WHY DO SISTAS CONSIDER AN HONEST HARD WORKING NON EBONICS TALKING BROTHER A SQUARE OR NOT BLACK ENOUGH, BUT SHE WILL FALL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH A THUG WHO CAN'T SPEAK A WORD OF ENGLISH WITHOUT SWEARING OR USING SOME FORM OF STREET SLANG? WHY DO MANY BLACK WOMEN SET THEIR STANDARDS SO HIGH THAT THEY USUALLY END UP ALONE? WHY IS IT WHEN THE THUG SMACKS HER UP, THE HUSTLER EMPTIES HER BANK ACCOUNT, OR WHEN SHE CATCHES THE BALLER WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT WOMEN; DOES SHE COMPLAIN THAT THERE ARE A SHORTAGE OF BLACK MEN AND THAT THERE "AREN'T ANY GOOD MEN OUT THERE". IT'S CONFUSING TO ME, HOW DO YOU GUYS FEEL?
     
  2. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    They probably fear commitment as much as guys...but they are smarter about it. We wait till women get attched and run.....they simply select guys that they KNOW will never be suitble for a long term relationship. Then when it ends, they can still cry becuase these are all guys who have either cheated, abused, or got commitment phobic with many girls before. No one will blame them for the end of the relationship. That is why guys who exhibit any good ammount of qualities a woman wants ends up as a "freind" and jerks have the good life.
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Interesting
    :smokin:
     
  4. Joyce

    Joyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would say low self esteem and what is encouraged through the medium of TV and rap music. After all, it is now fashionable to be seen with a thug. :spank:
     
  5. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ^^^^

    But what about those women who do this but would never get caught dead with a thug? There are many who claim to want guys with certain qualities, but end up with verbally abusive, controlling, or cheating brothas.....oen does not have to be a thug or like rap to do that. Women of all types that go for men of all types (rich, poor, educated, thugged out, older, younger) are claiming to want good mant then come up with everything in the book not to go witht he ones they find.

    I gotta wonder how many bros out there have been told something like "just becuase 2 people have similar beliefs, get along well, similar personalities and are attracted to one another does not mean they were meant to be together......we should just keep this on a freind level"??????
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    oh, really a thug type is today's worse kind , mostly you fine women that have
    low-self-esteem and think this all they can get , they cry about it later when they
    see better but many feel bruthas not worthy for lack of support to them but with
    all the street type guys they know it's not real and in for the thrill, Good guys do
    get a great deal of sista's basicly these women are weak minded but the strong
    know how to make a choice in men every woman has their reasons and likes .
    A great quote....Nothing from nothing leave nothing !
    maybe some sista's can express this issue better .
     
  7. jazzymoonchild

    jazzymoonchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello, Fam

    I think a big problem with the selection process is that people take physical attraction 1st, get intimate, and if its good, forget about common sense! Naturally, SOMETHING has to attract you to this other person, but I have learned with my little bit of 33 years, that it takes a whole lot more than a handsome face, car and or a bankroll to get me started. I have NEVER dated a hustler, and the one brother who pulled a major scam or heartbreak on me must have been trying to reform himself to be a "good guy" because I was a "good girl". The brother ended up with ulcers. You can only be you. I prefer an intellectual "thug" if you will, versus someone who cannot speak or has his pants hanging off his butt. I'm not into the whole pimpin mentality. The "baby momma" thing, none of that. Some folks simply don't have their heads together, so good guys, them turning you down may have been a blessing. Trust. :spin: There are plenty of good, intelligent, independent, UNSTABLE people out here. Alot of women, people rather, simply are searching for companionship. Companionship is not always compatibility. Some are too needy, some are too jealous. Some are too nonchalant. You have to come across the one who gives you a balance. Where both person's needs are met. Alot of women compromise for whatever reason, then complain about it six months down the road. You know a bad fit the moment you try something on. We have to stop kidding ourselves.

    Alot of us women do let a good guy out of our grasp because we have been conditioned or worn out to the game being played by those before you. But good guys, raise your head and be known because believe it or not, alot of us are coming out of the fog. People need to get to know each other as best they can. So what if you have a mate, but can you call her or him your friend as well? I am friends with many cool brothers that I could not see or fathom being in a relationship with. Why? Because they are on the same page with me as far as friendship issues, but when it comes to relationship issues, some of the things they practice are not cool with me. And vice versa. But I love them to death.

    You being a friend puts you in a valuable position. Being genuine is a great treasure. Please don't change.
     
  8. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Who knows man? This has baffled me for years. :confused: There are too many fish in the sea to worry about it man. :peace:
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hello Bigtown and Welcome! :wave:

    Could the choices Sisters are making be directly related to what she has to choose from?

    If what they say is true, and there aren't enough Brothers available for every Sister ... and from that already diminished pool ... you have some Brothers who are homosexual ... some Brothers who are incarcerated ... some Brothers who choose non-Black women ... some Brothers already spoken for ... that doesn't leave very many.

    So it could come down to her holding out for one of the good guys ... or choosing one of the "undesirables" (possibly with the hope of him changing) ... or remaining alone.

    Sisters can't make all these bad choices in men ... if all these bad choices in men, weren't so available.

    See what i mean?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    surely sista's have a choice their are good men and bad men out here
    it's the choice she make as a mate which always come down to looking
    at the book cover and the bling and never read a page , men to women is
    like a book to them and most women never take the time to read a page
    but judge from the cover this how so many end up with thugs // dealers/
    street busters ........when next to her was the man of her dreams but looked
    funny so he was passed up !
     
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