Black Relationships : Who would you choose?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Poeticsoulsista, Apr 12, 2003.

  1. Poeticsoulsista

    Poeticsoulsista Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    no longer continued
     
  2. ZeroGravity

    ZeroGravity Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Poetic...imho, there is room in your life for your best friend AND your boyfriend, you have to realize the boundaries of each of those relationships.

    You said that your boyfriend was find with the relationship you have with your best friend, until "you spent the weekend with your best friend". I believe that is one of the boundaries you crossed. I think you will find very few men that would accept that as is...and I wouldn't necessarily say that your boyfriend is insecure, he understands the dynamics of a male/female relationship and is guarded on what "could" happen and I would say, he doesn't want to be put in that position.

    I think you can have both, but please give both the respect that they each deserve. You have a good situation here...You've found what seems to be a very good strong friendship -AND- a good relationship...they can co-exist, but you got to make it work. Take Care
     
  3. Rain

    Rain Active Member MEMBER

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    wow! You got it you got it bad.
    How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot your boyfriend staying the weekend with his best(girl) friend.
     
  4. monetg

    monetg Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Poetic,

    You may have to take a minute and think not about what's best for you (keeping them both in your life) but what's best for them. If this situation makes either feel uncomfortable that's jeopardizing the friendship and the new-found love.
    You may have to modify your behavior to placate both. You and your friend formed this bond when you didn't have a "significant other" in your life but now you do. If he doesn't understand that "sleepovers" are no long acceptable, he isn't much of a friend. Just as your "significant other" has to realize that you had this friend before you had him and there's no need for discomfort for awkwardness.
    If you DO want to keep both you have to establish boundaries and operate within them assuring both that although they may share space in your heart and in your life--there is room for both.
     
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